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The Way of Moderation has ended (page 566)

Posted Dec 8, '10 at 12:57am

thoadthetoad

thoadthetoad

5,439 posts

Time flies when your having a good distraction...

Known as the CANNIBISMAN.

QUICK, CANNABISMAN, ***** DA POH-LEES.

 

Posted Dec 8, '10 at 5:52am

Efan

Efan

2,692 posts

Known as the CANNIBISMAN.

A hero to many; stoned or not, Cannabis man always flies to danger! wherever it may be, it may take him awhile when he stops at a local fast food joint though :P
CANNABIS MAN!

 

Posted Dec 8, '10 at 10:44am

Hectichermit

Hectichermit

1,169 posts

What if the Sacking of ArmorGames would take the literal meaning to putting Armor Games into a giant Sack...I once had an idea of where does my character get all his stuff, well he has a bottomless bag that would be basically another dimension....it would be funny to see the dimension a crazy drug intoxicated vagabond carried with him and the only person who knows how it worked was the hermit.

 

Posted Dec 8, '10 at 10:22pm

Strop

Strop

10,823 posts

Moderator

While I'm at it, I also need to let thisisnotanalt and hectichermit know what I have specifically planned for them!

Hi guys, I landed and stuff. I don't quite have internet just yet (this being a running post) but once I get all that sorted we can hopefully resume.

 

Posted Dec 8, '10 at 10:53pm

Hectichermit

Hectichermit

1,169 posts

While I'm at it, I also need to let thisisnotanalt and hectichermit know what I have specifically planned for them!

well I am always watching and waiting Muahahahahah so what villainous deed may I commit in the Name of Strop. Just joking my character wouldn't know what to do with authority...

 

Posted Dec 10, '10 at 10:58pm

Nurvana

Nurvana

2,179 posts

If this actually happened in AG it'd be SO epic...

 

Posted Dec 22, '10 at 1:18am

thoadthetoad

thoadthetoad

5,439 posts

What do you mean you're LEAVING?!

Time passed as Thoad rushed to his special place. The determined Rose trailed Thoad, hoping that her calls and reason would knock some sense into the half-skulled lad. "Dammit Thoad, stop running!" She yelled, trying to keep up. Thankfully her nurse shoes were comfortable enough to let her continue running through the bulk of armorgames.

The haunted section of the user interface was in sight. Thoad knew that his special place was likely found. He hoped, deep in his heart, that this was not true. He made a pact in his heart that he'd kill any newf*g that might be desecrating his only holy sanctum. The mere thought that a newf*g might be destroying his special place infuriated Thoad, giving him a sudden adrenaline rush. His already quick run turned into a full on sprint. Rose followed suit, doing her best not to be left behind.

-+-+-

Minutes passed by the time that Thoad and Rose got to the special place. Thoad had been a good 10 meters in front of Rose, nothing she couldn't handle. By the time Rose got into the special place via the hole in the ground, Thoad had been seen beating a newf*g within an inch of his life.

The grotesque half-troll like creature bled from several orifices. Most of the bleeding orifices were newly made. Bashes and welt were covered around the cheeks, and the forehead appeared to be bleeding from a cut. It was clear that this newgroundian would not be alive for very long if Thoad continued to beat him.

"Stop!" Rose yelled, grabbing Thoad's arm before he was able to deliver a finishing punch. "Just what the hell are you doing?" she scolded him. She didn't wait for an answer and slapped Thoad right across the face. This slap brought the sense back into Thoad's mind. His eyes returned to normal and he softly set down the newf*g. His mind was fuzzy. As his senses returned to him, the air became electric.

The newf*g cackled and coughed as he let out a gurgly cry, "You... you are all..." He paused, holding onto his life and breath, "...dead. " Then, a rumbling was heard throughout the special place. The rumbling turned to an extreme heat. The tangleroot tree in the middle of the special place was singed; it's root-like bark was turning slightly brown. Thoad had to think for a second before he realized it.

"Sh*t! Get down!" he yelled towards Rose. Hours of playing HellMOO (OOC: Don't google it, it is NSFW) and fallout taught Thoad that electrified air, a rumbling, and heat generally meant that some form of nuclear device had hit. Thankfully, knowledge of the cold war had also allowed Thoad to know the duck and cover strategy. If they were far enough from ground zero and it wasn't a very powerful weapon, it wouldn't actually harm them too much. He didn't speak, he simply covered Rose's skin, and kept his own skin from being in open air.

The clothes that Thoad and Rose were wearing nearly burst into flames, the heat around them encased every inch of their bodies. If any bit of skin was left in open air, a first or second degree burn would be imminent. Thankfully, Thoad had managed to cover both his own body and Rose's body. Rose was still confused as to why Thoad covered her face with his helmet, and was furious that Thoad had stuffed his face in her chest.

When the heat finally passed, the two got up. "Just what the hell was that?!" Yelled Rose.

"A nuke fell!" Thoad was still surprised that the nuke had fallen, and didn't take into account his face had been previously buried in Rose's chest.

"No, not that you idiot! You stuffed your face in my chest!" Rose's face was beginning to get red with rage. Thoad had simply stood there blank-faced before Rose slapped him across the face once more.

"OW! Sweet JESUS that hurt!" Thoad yelled. "Don't you know the duck and cover? GOD," Thoad was vigorously rubbing his cheek with his good arm. Another minute passed before a silence fell over ArmorGames. During this silence, Thoad looked about his happy place. The one place where he truly felt safe and loved. He looked at the glowshrooms. Most were stained with some form of white ooze (Thoad didn't investigate further), others were crushed. Only a small crop of 4 or 5 glowshrooms stood untainted. The grass was stained with white ooze and the walls of the haunted houses were nearly completely broken. Most were caved in.

Thoad fell silent, his goofy side left him entirely. The defeat on the last round, and now the destruction of his sanctum. It was a slap to the face after a slap to the balls. He picked the last few glowshrooms with his hands. They were almost crystalline in nature, any bit of light reflected off it's surface while casting a blue glow. Placing them gently in his pocket, Thoad began crawling out of his hole.

Rose watched him during all of this, and followed through the hole. Thoad was slowly walking away, towards the gate. "Where are you going?" Rose called. Thoad didn't stop, but he did slow down his pace. With a sigh, Rose tried to reason with the crushed user, "I'll remind you that you only have half of your skull on!" Thoad didn't stop.

"No. I'm not staying. I-" Thoad was having difficulties talking, for whatever reason. "I can't stay here. I'm leaving, hopefully for good," Thoad got back to walking.

Rose caught up to Thoad, attempting to reason with him once more. Her caring, nurse-like tendencies were taking over her, "Just what do you mean you're leaving?"

"I'm. Leaving." Thoad wanted to stay as far away from the city as possible.

"What about your head?" Rose was trying to get thoad concerned about his health.

"I'll have a replacement attached in Kongregate or something," Thoad hung his head, and his scalp-flap slid downwards a little bit.

Rose was outraged. "Thoad, I've been a long-time member of AG and know of it's rivalry with Kongregate. I am appauled that you would even consider going there!" Rose waited for Thoad to respond. He didn't. "How long have you been here? 1 year?" she raised her voice as she mentioned the year.

"About one and a half, yes," Thoad continued to half-sulk as another bomb dropped in the far distance.

"That's longer than most users. And I've seen you around quite often. Even though you don't speak up, I see you lurking these streets!" Rose was trying to keep herself from yelling. It wasn't working. "You can't let your home city fall like this! Not to Newgrounds! Never!" Rose shook her hands as she exclaimed. "You should be on the frontlines! You should be helping with this last-ditch defense... do... DOITF*GGOT," Rose had finally reached her peak. She snapped like a twix bar.

Thoad heard that last strew of words and finally considered something. The reason why Rose was able to use such hot flames, her knowledge of the internet, it made sense now. The nurse was now leading into a strew of memes and /b/ related chatter. It had become clear that she was from /b/ before her time in ArmorGames. "You're a /b/tard?" Thoad was almost wanting to laugh.

Rose finally had her senses flow back to her, "Wha-? No! No I'm not!" Rose looked as if she was in denial. A pedobear like stance came out of her, however, "I'm simply a bit thirsty." The retort didn't make any sense. It appeared as if Rose's logic was completely gone.

Thoad snickered. Rose's idiocy had managed to pull him out of his bad mood. He wanted to burst out laughing. More explosions were to be heard, it was apparent that rioting was going on, considering that people were running away with expensive looking furniture and other such pieces of crap. He pulled grabbed a user running away with a vase, "Hey, what are you doing running around with something so pricy looking?"

"Get out of my way, idiot! The AP is useless, get everything you could possibly carry! Go you stupid!" The user yelled. Thoad stood with another blank face.

"What's the big deal? AP isn't an item!" Thoad exclaimed towards no one in particular.

Rose thought this was a chance to get Thoad to help defend armorgames, "This is your chance! People are rioting and newf*gs are attacking! This could be your chance to become a mod!" Thoad perked up and immediately knew that Rose was right. Even if he didn't' become a mod by teh end of it all, he would have served his home city armorgames, and that was what he always truly wanted to do.

"Right! Where to first?" Thoad asked Rose, his voice filled with enthusiasm.

Rose stood silently before getting a cheeky smile, "I'm sure my house needs defending!" Rose certainly didn't let her nurse like caring get in front of her humanly selfish desires.

Thoad blindly smiled, "Yes! Of course!" and he set off towards the residencies. He would incapacitate the newgroundian to the best of his ability, and lock them in a haunted house, with no chance of escape. Not even the best escape gamers could have figured out Thoad's half-insane puzzles. It was like the impossible quiz, only instead of multiple choice, it was short answer.

 

Posted Dec 22, '10 at 1:48am

Hectichermit

Hectichermit

1,169 posts

Lights flickered threw out the day in the distance from where Armor Games was located as Hectichermit sat upon the mountain top thoughts pondering about what he will due until the time came. He looked at the parchment again, it was a note written by a well known ninja pony who disappears from time to time just as the hermit does himself but rarely he conveyed such a notice written in the simplest of words "Be Ready" so as the dark clouds hover over the city of Armor Games he sits on this mountain top waiting for Strop to return.

 

Posted Dec 22, '10 at 1:52am

Strop

Strop

10,823 posts

Moderator

Alright, I got free internet in this hotel in San Diego! Seeing as Sea World was totally washed out today, I'm now sitting in a cheap room in the Days Inn (which is surprisingly nice for the price), doing... this stuff.

I have now emailed:

Thoad (awaiting confirmation of corrections)
Kingryan (awaiting corrections)
Xzeno (he knows what he has to do)
Goumas (to submit!)
Crimsonblade (to submit!)
Manta
Poisonarrow
Efan
Skater
Zega
Dudeguy
Hectichermit
Thisisnotanalt

Is there anybody else I need to email? Once submissions have been made, I can show you the next parts, and trust me, if you thought it was bad now, it's gonna get worse. So much worse.

If this actually happened in AG it'd be SO epic...

Most of the biggest events depicted or referenced in the WoM reflect actual goings on in AG itself, as it's a metaphor. Not to saw we've ever held a tournament to find a moderator, of course. And if a real site-wide raid or DoS attack did take out AG's forum, that would be seriously uncool D:

 

Posted Dec 22, '10 at 1:59am

thoadthetoad

thoadthetoad

5,439 posts

seriously uncool D:

Says you. I think it'd add a bit more...

*puts on sunglasses*

[i]character.

 
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