It was hot outside. The heat beat down on my back like so many sun baked rivets. But I was bored; I had nothing else to do, as I had just woken up the fourth time that day and trained rigorously all week long. I sat over the edge of my mansiopool and dangled my legs, kicking the edge of the water. A peasant asked me, "What do you think of Obama calling Kanye a *******?" I shrugged. "Yes, because that's an important matter. Float away, kid." He walked off. "When will round three start?" I thought to myself. I fell forward into the water and did a few backstrokes.
With that I heard a "click," followed by a "bzzzzzz…" Getting out of the water, I saw… who else? Nurse Stroppy McCrossdressingninjahorse. And he was holding… "Is that a vibrator?!"
"Oh, God, that’s a ban" emanated from Armor Castle, barely noticeable.
Strop waggled his finger. "Tut, tut. You’re in enough trouble as it is, Trout Face." Upon closer inspection, he was holding an electric razor. He reached into his one piece ninja outfit (I could help but notice bright pink frills whilst he did so) and pulled out a second one. "Did you think I’d forgotten about your little ban a few weeks back?" He turned the other one on. "Click, bzzzzzz…"
Strop always HAD been jealous I could have both an awesome dorsal fin and luscious locks of hair.
"C’mere you little carp!"
"Hey! I’m almost as tall as you!"
Like a ninja horse, Strop thrust his arm forward, razor in hand. Instinctively, like a kickboxing fish, I swiped at the razor, sending it flying as a result. It flew over and clipped the tip off of Cen’s (whom I had just noticed was standing there) ponytail. He frowned a Cen-ly frown.
Strop flexed his fingersâ€"unusual for one with hooves. "Fighting back will only get you b&, Manta. Submit to the power!"
I froze. Seriously, ice and everything. Must’ve been a mod-power. "C’mere!" Strop lunged. Flexing every muscle I had, I shattered the ice and sent it hurling in every direction somehow. The crystalloid shards smashed the fronts of several mansions and took out a series of pillars on the front steps of another. The other aristocrats of Aristocrat Way stood in shocked horror, and I froze, In the metaphorical sense, this time. "Um… I didn’t mean to?"
Strop chuckled. "Fine. I might as well introduce you…" I then noticed Cenere had a large burlap sack. He tossed it to Stroppykins and Strop pulled out a large rubber compulse ball. "…To your next challenge first." He chucked the ball at me, quite hard I might add. As it neared me, I flipped backwards onto my hands and kicked it straight up into the air.
It landed with a "ping!" and left a crack in the sidewalk. Then it bounced up and crashed through the roof of one of the houses. It ricocheted around the inside with repeating "Pings!" and eventually started bouncing around the inside of the house so fast that the pings became a resounding "Squeeeeee!"
And then I watched the abandoned old mansion come crashing to the ground, completely leveled. All that remained was debris and dust. The ball rolled out of the devastated pile of house parts and stopped by Strop’s feet.
"Well, well, well. I see you’re putting up a fight. This will be fun!" Strop reared his arm back, ball in hand. I closed my eyes and braced myself, but while I wasn’t looking, I heard that familiar buzz and felt my hair come falling off in piles. I reached up slowly in horror and felt the stubble where my hair used to be, then screamed. "MY HAAAAAAAAIR!"
I stopped. Strop grinned. I ran. Strop threw. I ran faster. The ball kept up with me. "Run, fish-boy, run!"
So I ducked, and watched in amusement as the compulse ball took out a stone wall surrounding the boundaries of Aristocrat Way. It collapsed and fell over onto an elderly man (he was alright, he just seemed… geriatric).
Strop pulled out three more balls and gave chase, throwing them as we went. The first one, I sidestepped to the left and watched as it took out three windows in quick succession. The third one was low; I jumped over it and grabbed it between my feet, tossed It in the air, and head butted it straight up. Once again, it destroyed another old mansion. I turned around and caught the third one, and it sent me sliding back a few feet. I traded stares with Strop and the dodge ball, and after a short lapse of awareness, served the ball overhand at Strop.
Of course, being a ninja, he easily volleyed it back to me. It seemed we were playing volleyball now. I dove, narrowly knocking the ball back at him. He slapped it back at me and I punched it with all of my strength. Strop had to dodge this one. He flipped out of the way and the ball demolished the foundation of the house behind him, sinking it underground.
He pulled out one more ball and tossed It into the air. He back flipped and kicked the ball at me, so I ran as fast as a land-fish couldâ€"faster than it sounds. Unfortunately, the ball was faster, and I was forced to somersault forward, and as my balance shifted back to my feet and I was righting myself, I kicked the ball with the back of my heels. The already great force of the ball, combined with the force of my own kick, created devastating results. It was speeding right for Firetail’s super-ultra-mega-luxurious-villa.
The ball hit Armor Land’s second most expensive piece of land with a tremendous "bwoooooom!"
Through yet another circumstance I wouldn’t ever understand, the ball created an awesome mushroom cloud as it hit the house, utterly annihilating it and the six houses on either side of it.
Firetail wasn’t home, and I knew he could afford another. The others… meh. They had insurance.
I was blinded by the black smoke. Strop picked me up by the scruff of the neck and horse punted me through the air. He then donned a targeting visor and held another ball. "Steady… steady…"
He chucked it straight after me and did that triple-clap "I’m done here" thing and turned to Cenere. "Come on, Cenny Cen Cen! We have to find more victestants!" said Strop, slinging the bag to Cenere and trotting off. "Why do I have to carry it?" He heaved the sack over his shoulder and followed Strop.
I sailed for a good minute or so before finally landing in the Haunted District of the Residential Area, destroying a straw shack. I looked up and saw a spinning, multicolored streak hurtling right at my face.
Unable to do anything else, I rolled to the side and jumped to my feet. The streak landed with an enormous "PING!" The result was an incredible shockwave that took out every haunted house in the Haunted District, along with several trees, stones, and a certain fish-boy.
I stumbled before finally falling to the ground and waited for the tremor to subside. When it finally did, I stood up, blinded by the dust and debris. All I could see for miles were piles of shattered glass, splintered wood, twisted metal and crushed brick. But who really cared? This was the district where only the ghost accounts lived.
My eyes were wide and I was shocked. With no alternatives, I collapsed onto my back with an exasperated groan and closed my eyes. Hard to say if I was unconscious or just sleeping, but either way, I couldn’t be bothered with waking up.
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Ooer. Don't fully understand the world rules, but I may have broken a few here.
Whaaatever...
As long as I'm still in...
*Gulp*
