Well, so far so good. Just that there were a few lines that could have been drawn out better, slightly sloppy in some areas.

For example:

they yell "We have come under decree of King Andrew the IV, and are here to kill you."

Perhaps a better method:

Five heavily armoured knights burst out from the undergrowth, battle lances at the ready, their steads flaring, staring straight at me.

'So the King says, so you shall die.' The tallest of them echoed emotionlessly, lowering his visor. Without another word, they charged....

Well, that was just some quick advice on my behalf.

Also, it looks kind of cheesy if you mention things like 'They have 3 catapults and 100 soldiers!'

Rather, a better phrasing:

'Their numbers are numerous, we cannot hold for long. They bring death with their cruel war machines.'

I liked it, some spots were rough but other than that. Great Show.

I like your style Nich.

Also, for whoever cares, I am abandoning Hellbender. Bad to begin with, no storyline.

Very good, why don't you take the time to go ahead and rewrite Hellbender. I think it would be a good story.

Thanks, but I can't see where it is going. I give you permission to revive it.

*beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee* *Athlum comes with shockers*
*beep*

Mav sends an assasin (since I cant get out of my house) with a sawed off shot gun (a short, gruesome time later)

Dudeguy: *beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

Assasin: Yes!

Mav: sooo.....hungry....and tired.....

Cattail Dust

[url=http://]

Your writings not bad, maybe you should write more on some of it, see what comes next. It appears you don't like staples.

maybe you should write more on some of it,

More of what?

The water story one: Well. It was good-like a narration of sorts. But then at the last paragraph or so it kind of lost its calmness in how I was reading it in my head. I suppose that can symbolise water in its wrath and its kindness, but I don't think you tried to do that. Good-you don't fall into the trap of using more simple and common words like I seem some people do (nice, nice, nice, nice,nice,nice, nice...) Interesting but finally lacks finish.

Btw people talking about improving his grammar, what's he meant to do? Buy a grammar exercise book? I hate that stuff-although it works.