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Dudeguy's spare time.

Posted Jul 23, '09 at 10:01am

Gregbyte

Gregbyte

227 posts

oh and one constructive comment:

The Blood Stars colours are perfect, but the shape less so. More of those 'lines' to get rid of that quadrilateral in the middle?

 

Posted Jul 23, '09 at 5:43pm

dudeguy45

dudeguy45

2,594 posts


I hear a slicing sound
I see my Crimson blood on the ground
I just feel cold...cold steel
I'm afraid this can't heal

Looking at my foe
with a face of pain
looking around, I see a crow
eating the bodies of the dead

laying down on the Earth
brisk autumn breeze
many solders on their knees
I see the spear that has taken my life
the courageous sound of a fife
Breaking through the sounds of battle
officers sitting on a saddle

Fading now
I can see my brow
as all sounds mute out

______________________________________________________________
A story about getting stabbed..... say what you want but I like it.

 

Posted Jul 24, '09 at 8:44pm

knight_34

knight_34

11,455 posts

Ah.. This place is really, really nice.

I'm keeping my eyes on you, Dudeguy.

 

Posted Jul 24, '09 at 9:13pm

dudeguy45

dudeguy45

2,594 posts

Things that don't please
often have me on my knees
begging to stop

I like to make my self believe
that planet Earth turns slowly
But how can I?
Bustling streets
running feets
Slow it down, can we?

Why cut down a tree?
Either way, you'll pay a fee
we lived fine before, didn't we?

Bombing
shooting
suicides
oh my!
Why not give peace a try?

Feeding the beast isn't easy
when I'm always hungry
I start to feel queasy
I hate being starved

Little children know the rules, don't they?
It should be carved in their brain, if you ask me
Can't they see
I'm getting mad?

Even when I was a little lad
you can just ask my Dad
That mosquitoes cause me grief
And in bug spray, I have no belief
the little bugs latching on
endless Itching and scratching

So you see, I am rather modest
I love most things lest
I see one of the things that don't impress me
__________________________________________
My entry for the weekly poetry contest.

 

Posted Jul 25, '09 at 3:40pm

the_manta

the_manta

3,006 posts

It's a little... wandery. The flow isn't constant, and it randomly changes subject, but it's good. Keep it up.

 

Posted Jul 30, '09 at 8:17pm

dudeguy45

dudeguy45

2,594 posts

Rainbow Toxin

http://api.photoshop.com/home_07252c3daae341a8af3c49dd483afee3/adobe-px-assets/35fd40409bb6421189fdd43701a609dd

 

Posted Jul 30, '09 at 8:39pm

pauler94

pauler94

2,449 posts

Interesting work, dude. It seems that every one deals with death or something.

 

Posted Aug 2, '09 at 8:42pm

dudeguy45

dudeguy45

2,594 posts

Ambush

Silence falls
as the bugle sounds
enemies running
we are the cunning

looking through my scope
on the top of our slope
ready to take a life... or two
but this ain't nothing new

blissfully unaware
as I stare
finger on my springfield
there is no shield

The sergeant yells "open fire"
they try to attack
but were higher
and they lack

in no time at all,
one hundred bodies
and there is about 15 who crawl
all over the ground are autumn leaves
matching the color of blood

Feeling deadly today T_T

 

Posted Aug 10, '09 at 12:01am

zlith

zlith

334 posts

Rainbow toxin is positivly delightful. It's as if someone massacred a rainbow with a chainsaw.

 

Posted Aug 14, '09 at 5:47pm

dudeguy45

dudeguy45

2,594 posts

Woozy

I get a felling
all my problems are gone
my soul is slowly healing
my heart is a little fawn
ready to prance

No one could enhance
you beautiful face
your sending me in to a warm, solum trance
I never want to leave this place

My eyes stare
into your soul
I wish you could see
How much I want you

It seems you have noticed me
you get a tiny grin
I can see your feelings growing like a tree
I know you have done no sin

Eh?

 
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