Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → WarTank's Song Book
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As a few of you may know, I've formed a band with the_manta. I am a pianist, singer, and an aspiring songwriter. I try write a song just about every month...but in reality the lyrics to my songs only take a couple of hours to write, so i could write more often.
I would like to share the songs i write with AG in hopes that i will be able to get advice, criticism, and new ideas. I hope that your opinions will help me to expand my song writing talents.
Right now, I only have the lyrics to two songs completed. I'll post one now, and post the other sometime later.
This first one was actually the first song i completed. It was about a girl at school that i obviously liked...maybe a little too much. Anyway, here it is.
Everything:
You're standing there,
So perfectly,
Your long brown hair,
You're all I see.
And Later On,
Out in the Breeze,
I see you smile,
And I just freeze.
Is it possible to be so beautiful,
When I see you all the angels sing,
You're so cute and sweet and you're never dull,
And to me you're everything.
Yeah.
You're simply everything to me,
I wonder if you ever think of me,
When I hear you calling,
It feels like I'm falling,
Cause you're simply everything I know,
I wonder if I ever made it show,
The sound of your laughter,
You're the one I'm after,
Cause you're everything.
When you speak to me,
The way you make me feel,
Everything you say,
It's just so unreal.
Your hazel eyes,
Like rising suns,
In sunny skies,
Yeah you're the one.
Is it possible to be so beautiful,
Angels tell me that you're everything,
You're so cute and sweet and you're never dull,
And it's you, you make me sing,
Yeah.
You're simply everything to me,
I wonder if you ever think of me,
When I hear you calling,
It feels like I'm falling,
Cause you're simply everything I know,
I wonder if I ever made it show,
The sound of you're laughter,
You're the one I'm after,
Cause you're everything,
You're everything,
Yeah you're everything,
You're everything,
And it's you, you make me sing,
Cause you're simply everything to me,
Just the thought of you sets my soul free,
All these feeling for you,
How could I ignore you?
Cause you're simply everything I know,
I'd follow you wherever you may go,
The way that you daze me,
Oh you amaze me.
Cause you're simply everything to me,
I wonder if you ever think of me,
When I hear you calling,
It feels like I'm falling,
Cause you're simply everything I know,
I wonder if I ever made it show,
The sound of you're laughter,
You're the one I'm after,
Cause you're everything,
You're everything,
Yeah you're everything,
You're everything,
You're everything.
Lemme know what you think! Remember this was my first song!
- 58 Replies
well, I'm gonna take a break from songwriting for a day. I hope to have a new song by Thursday though!
hmmmm. . .you may want to expand your subject matter, but these aren't bad.
Rawr... Only the same 4 people ever visit my thread...
But, ignoring my whining, that one's not bad. It's not quite your best... But not bad. It's also rather long... But not bad.
Augh!! Wave of inadequacy...
Manta. . .I read your thread, I just usually just don't reply.
Sorry i couldn't write a song...so busy...and now I'm going to Indiana for a week. I don't know if there's a computer where I'm going so I may not post again until next weekend...but I promise I'll have a song when I get back!
wow, it's been a while but I'm back. This may be the last song for a while because I want to write instrumentals for the, now three, musicless songs.
This is my first non-love song that i have ever finished. I wrote it, inspired by a killers song.
This Last Man Standing:
At last regret, the deed is done,
Blood is spilled and the battle won.
The Man in red is carried out,
A siren sings and the Devil is proud.
What does it mean to be the one who's broken?
The one that's lying in a firey blaze.
What is it like to be this last man standing?
The one who's fighting til the end of days.
Take me from this place,
End this pain I feel,
Carry me away,
Show me what is real,
Take me to a place,
Where I won't be alone,
I'm left screaming out,
"Someone take me home!"
I used to shout, I used to scream,
"I'd give it all to be a king!"
But lately now I seem just fine,
With being king of my own life.
What does it mean to be the one who's broken?
The one that's lying in a firey blaze.
What is it like to be this last man standing?
The one who's fighting til the end of days.
Take me from this place,
End this pain I feel,
Carry me away,
Show me what is real,
Take me to a place,
Where I won't be alone,
I'm left screaming out,
"Someone take me home!"
Someone take me home!
Don't leave me alone now,
Never let me Go!
Cause I can never let this go now.
No
Take me from this place,
End this pain I feel,
Carry me away,
Show me what is real,
Take me to a place,
Where I won't be alone,
I'm left screaming out,
"Someone take me home!"
'Tis my favorite one yet.
It's good to see you're moving away from sappy love songs. :P
This is my first non-love song that i have ever finished
GOOD. You guys have promise and I don't want you to degenerate into releasing the same love songs with different lyrics over and over again like many modern bands.
I'm going to Indiana for a week. I don't know if there's a computer where I'm going
WE HAVE INTERNET ACCESS T_T
Indiana isn't all backwater inbred bearded rednecks.
these sound like poems. but still man they are really good. GREAT job man keep it up.
WE HAVE INTERNET ACCESS T_T
Indiana isn't all backwater inbred bearded rednecks.
LOL, Alt, I think he just meant he doesn't know if his grandma has a computer. XD
WE HAVE INTERNET ACCESS T_T
Indiana isn't all backwater inbred bearded rednecks.
haha, it's just my grandma doesn't have a computer and my aunts computer runs soooooo slow.
these sound like poems. but still man they are really good. GREAT job man keep it up.
They won't sound like poems after i put instrumentals to them. But I'm glad you like them as they are for now.
Lulz, it sounded like he wasn't sure if there were computers in Indiana xD
After writing my way through the morning, I have a new song! *invisible crowd cheers*
I really can't say much about this one other than it was inspired by weezer and my lack of sleep. Here it is:
The Astronaut:
I wanna live a life of fame,
Where nothing ever is the same,
To get away from normal life,
I can't wait til I arrive.
I've been told that it's too hard,
"You're never gonna get that far.",
All my life I've had these dreams,
Of living like a king.
I will try, I will crawl,
Til I make it or I fall,
I will run, I will scream,
Til I'm living in this dream.
I don't care if they say,
If they approve or not,
Cause one day I will soar,
Like the astronaut.
I wanna meet the perfect girl,
And Take her all around the world,
I'd buy her all the fancy things,
Dinner and a diamond ring.
I've been told that it's too hard,
"You're never gonna get that far.",
All my life I've had these dreams,
Of living like a king.
I will try, I will crawl,
Til I make it or I fall,
I will run, I will scream,
Til I'm living in this dream.
I don't care if they say,
If they approve or not,
Cause one day I will soar,
Like the astronaut.
I'm gonna write the songs I sing,
Put out ten hits per CD,
And when I step out on the stage,
All the people will sing:
I will try, I will crawl,
Til I make it or I fall,
I will run, I will scream,
Til I'm living in this dream...
I will try, I will crawl,
Til I make it or I fall,
I will run, I will scream,
Til I'm living in this dream.
I don't care if they say,
If they approve or not,
Cause one day I will soar,
Like the astronaut.
I will soar like the astronaut.
I can't wait til I arrive.
Arrive. . .where?
Of living like a king.
THis line just sounds too short to me.
I don't care if they say,
Shouldn't it be 'what they say?'
Nice lyrics, but those are my only concerns above.
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