Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → The Tale Of The Fyrefox
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Some people have seen this on my profile and some wanted me to post it, but I never got around to it, but here it is.
I wrote this story back in 3rd grade. This was my very first short story. I misspelled the title (it was meant to be Firefox not Fyrefox), but that is how my username came to be. Well I hope you like it...(keep in mind with your criticism that this was written almost 10 years ago) Or course I corrected some spelling and grammatical errors. I think I got em all.
The Tale Of The Fyrefox
Two countries fought ferociously for power, control, and wealth. They fought endlessly for their thoughts of greed and power. Thousands lay slaughtered by The war's merciless actions and the loss of one's generosity, kindness, and love for another. One creature stepped down from the "Heavens" on a fiery cloud to stop the tragedies and violence, he was sent to restore peace to its rightful place.
The large creature was unmistakably a fox. The fox stood in the middle of the battlefield. It glanced at the dead...all the people paused in astonishment and disbelief. The soldiers dropped their weapons as the fiery creature turned its head. It glared at all the people corrupted by their choices. It then exploded in a cloud of fire and smoke. The people stared into their fate as it rushed toward them in the form of fire. Some pleaded for forgiveness others forsaken it.
The cold hearted perished and the generous and forgiven survived. Soon after, the feeling of generosity, kindness, and love returned. The fox stood on top of the highest mountain located in between the two countries. It stared at the people who were spared from a fiery death, he nodded and disappeared.
Many of the survivors could never explain this phenomenal event. Then finally the elders deemed the creature to be the peacekeeper sent from those "Up Above" to bring the lost emotions back to the people who deserved them. They named him the...Fyrefox.
- 34 Replies
I don't.......think this is bad at all. Great job.
It would be cool if you made a modern version.
Egh-hem! It was... just... plainly.... just too.... AWESOME!!!! Well really it wasn't like OMGingly good, but i still liked it. Don't let that ruin your spirits! Anyways, i like it and think you should make a sequel. Or, even more challenging, a prequel! How you would make a prequel? I... don't know and don't care, but since you were in 3rd grade i believe in you!
I was always told I was a skilled writer, but never really thought about actually doing it. I see myself as a musician instead of an author, but eh who knows.
Well then, maybe you could create a song about it! And now you have me curious, what instrument do you play? I play the violin.
Anyway... pretty good story. In third grade (that means bad spelling- really bad cuz i sucked at it) this would be my story:
oNCe apon a tim ther was a majical thig cald th Bugle! it ate pi and god stuf. i lik it. it is kol. it kiled people to ma thm stop fiting. that why i lik this thig
lol, noticed how it say god stuf instead of good stuff? shh... everyone pray for the stuf!
Well then, maybe you could create a song about it! And now you have me curious, what instrument do you play? I play the violin.I play a couple instruments actually. I'm more experienced at electric guitar, but I also play drums, trumpet, and bass.
oNCe apon a tim ther was a majical thig cald th Bugle! it ate pi and god stuf. i lik it. it is kol. it kiled people to ma thm stop fiting. that why i lik this thigIt looked similar to that except mine was worse because it was handwritten. >.< You could imagine my horrible left handed writing.
Egh-hem! It was... just... plainly.... just too.... AWESOME!!!! Well really it wasn't like OMGingly good, but i still liked it. Don't let that ruin your spirits!I'll take that as a compliment. it won't ruin my spirit. Criticism only identifies things I need to work on. Thanks.
Or, even more challenging, a prequel! How you would make a prequel?I see that being to difficult because of the way I have this one set-up, but a sequel maybe coming in awhile.
I don't.......think this is bad at all. Great job.Well, see the thing about that is, I wrote this for a project for 'Social Studies'. We were going over myths and we were supposed to make up one and a story with it. It was originally "The Fire Fox" and I think Mozilla wasn't even around back then. Through proofreading I changed it to "The Fyrefox".
It would be cool if you made a modern version.
If I did change it to a modern theme, I think it would have to be a progressive series going through more realistic wars which in turn makes it more complicated to understand. I like the older style better because mythological things were important to ancient people. They always meant something of did something.
I'm glad everyone has continued to enjoy this story. I can't wait to read some more feedback.
You shouldn't make a sequal, but a prelude.[quote]I think thats a better idea it would explain it more[/quote]
Yeah, I've been thinking about it and it seems like it would work out better that way. I knew I didn't really go into nearly enough detail when I revised this.
thats cool and its your usernameYeah, it was really the only thing I could think of as my username almost a year ago >.<.
almost I mean over and on a final note I plan on finishing up the sequel, but not posting it until I work up a better plot for the prequel. I will also probably give a decent amount of time between posting the prequel and sequel to add some "suspense".
great story you should make a nother one... i would be greatful if youjoined the fox club
Nice!Whoa,3rd grade?Nice.I remember making a drawing book with my friend for some book contest going on at my school.Of course,we didn`t win,but all my friends were amazed.Ah,back when my friend wasn`t a jerk.-sigh-
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