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An Emotional Story Part-2

Posted Aug 4, '09 at 10:41am

SonnyDude

SonnyDude

231 posts

To VoteSocialist-

I don't think that there was a single grammar mistake but only the words were at mistake...

 

Posted Aug 4, '09 at 10:51am

VoteSocialist

VoteSocialist

969 posts

I am only telling the truth, one must be Machiavellian on these issues.

 

Posted Aug 4, '09 at 10:56am

SonnyDude

SonnyDude

231 posts

Ok, it is your opinon.

 

Posted Aug 4, '09 at 11:42am

VoteSocialist

VoteSocialist

969 posts

Where are all of the robot dinosaurs that shoot lazers when they roar?

 

Posted Aug 4, '09 at 3:09pm

Krizaz

Krizaz

1,843 posts

I didn't like it. It was too modern and almost like you wanted to copy Slumdog Millionaire, it was also to short to have any meaning. Also it barely made any sense, commas too few, your paragraphs were confusing, and you had some run-on sentences. Really the story was too short.

 

Posted Aug 5, '09 at 10:20am

SonnyDude

SonnyDude

231 posts

you wanted to copy Slumdog Millionaire, it was also to short to have any meaning

I did wanted tp make it like that..

Really the story was too short.

I wanted to make it short.

 

Posted Aug 5, '09 at 1:27pm

jezz

jezz

1,447 posts

Don't you think everybody needs to stop criticising Sonny's story in such a harsh way?
He's accepted that his writings need improvement; no one is perfect at something the first time they try.
He asked alot of people for tips on how to write a story, hes tried as best he can, and his next stories should improve greatly with constructive criticism. Give him a chance guys.

I'd like to see some of you trying to write a decent story before you critisise Sonny's. I'm mainly talking to VoteSocialist here. Vote, I know you've said you're joking, but some of the things you've said were uncalled for.

Just drop it, let him write his next one.

Perhaps a thread title change is in order, Sonny?

 

Posted Aug 5, '09 at 2:33pm

VoteSocialist

VoteSocialist

969 posts

Don't you think everybody needs to stop criticising Sonny's story in such a harsh way?
He's accepted that his writings need improvement; no one is perfect at something the first time they try.
He asked alot of people for tips on how to write a story, hes tried as best he can, and his next stories should improve greatly with constructive criticism. Give him a chance guys.

Right, right, surrre. Like you don't ever criticize any stories/ TV/ movies you ever see. To be frank, in the world of story making expect to be critiqued

 

Posted Aug 5, '09 at 5:11pm

jezz

jezz

1,447 posts

Yes I do critcise TV and film but what does that have to do with critcising a new writer in their writing thread on a gaming forum?

And yes, if you show your work to others you should expect to be critcised for it. But what you said was hardly polite nor fair.

I am, infact, something of a writer and from what I've read, I know how to critcise a little story better than you.

 

Posted Aug 5, '09 at 7:30pm

VoteSocialist

VoteSocialist

969 posts

Ooops! I put a "here" instead of a "hear", I'm turing into a SunnyDude! D:

 
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