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Ithae
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Ithae
256 posts
Nomad

1.Your so stupid you had to call 411 to dial 911

2.Yo mama' lips so big, she can whisper to herself.

3.Q:What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A:A cherry float.

4.Q:Whats the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers?
A:Ones a goodyear, the others a great year!

5.Q:What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
A:Roberto

6.Son: ''Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?''

Dad: ''Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine.''

No offense to anyone. Feel free to copy and paste any to your pages.

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Nightfox44
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Nightfox44
192 posts
Nomad

Q: What did God say when he made the first black person?
A: Oh ****, I burnt one!


LOL oh man thats a good one...

Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras.

Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.

Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled, "HEY, KOOL-AID!"

Yo momma so fat shes on both side of the family.

Also Colledge humor on Youtube man those guys are amazing!!
TheKeyofDeath
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TheKeyofDeath
59 posts
Nomad

Someone give me a good blonde joke thats really wacked out and funny
well i find this one funny
what do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you

you pick it up pull the pin and throw it back
djfinalmix
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djfinalmix
196 posts
Nomad

yo mommas so ugly that when she joined a stripping club everybody paid her to keep her clothes on

djfinalmix
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djfinalmix
196 posts
Nomad

wow, im good at this.

playaholic
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playaholic
1,098 posts
Farmer

check out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKX_9qTVdu8

its a halo parody that really rocks like hell

Masix
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Masix
4 posts
Nomad

You are on the bus when you suddenly realize ... you need to fart.

The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat.

After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.

As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and that's when you remember...you've been listening to your ipod.

softin
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softin
55 posts
Nomad

these jokes made my eyes bleed.... come up with something better?

Moabarmorgamer
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Moabarmorgamer
8,570 posts
Nomad

Rofl sane, your jokes are actually funny(unlike many others). Now...let's see if I can make you guys laugh.

The Three Guys: Lunch

Ok, so there were three construction workers building a skyscraper. It was lunchtime. One of them opened their lunchbox and said:
"Dangit! I got enchiladas again! I swear, if I get enchiladas for lunch again, I'm gonna jump off this building and kill myself!"
The second opened his lunchbox and said:
"Dangit! I got PBJ again! If I get PBJ for lunch one more time, I'm gonna jump off this building and kill myself!"
The third opened his lunchbox and said:
"Dangit! I got chicken for lunch again! If I get chicken one more time, I'll jump off this building and kill myself!"

The next day, all three of them got the exact same lunch. And they followed through with yesterday's threat and killed themselves. At the funeral, their wives were crying. The first man's wife said:
"If I had known he hated enchiladas so much I would've made him something else!"
The second guy's wife sobbed:
"If I knew he hated PBJ so much I would've given him something else for lunch!" and everybody turned to the third man's wife, who was standing there with a confused expression on her face.
"Don't look at me," she said. "He made his own lunch every day."

The Three Guys: Stranded

Once there were three guys going for a drive in a desert when their Jeep broke down. They went and found some shelter in a cave.
"I'm going to go find some water," said the first man, and he left the cave. A few hours later, he returned with water.
"I'm going to go find some food," said the second man, and he left the cave. A few hours later he returned with some food.
"I'm going to go get something," said the third guy mysteriously, and he left the cave. Three days later, he still had not returned and the other two guys assumed he was dead. But then he came back, carrying the door of their Jeep with him.
"What the heck did you bring the jeep door for?" demanded the first guy.
"Well," said the third guy, "I thought that if we got hot since it's a desert, we could roll the window down!"

This one is a story. It's fake, but I thought it was funny.

One day, I was sitting at my desk doing my schoolwork. The clock ticked loudly as the teacher droned on. I finally decided to try something to help the time pass. Myself and a jerk had a spitball war on the bus the day before. This morning, we had a rubber band war. Both times, unfortunately, he had won. Now, being the type to hold grudges, I decided that whatever I would do would help me get back at him. Luckily, his desk was only a few feet away from mine. I scavenged through my desk and pockets, looking for some kind of tool. All I found was an old tissue, covered in blood. I recoiled at the sight. The tissue couldn't have been too old, because the blood was still wet and sticky, probably from that morning when I had gotten a bloody nose from our brutal rubber band fight.

During gym class, I left, went back to the lockers, and wiped the blood all over his pants, then skipped out again. Unfortunately, I had got some blood on my hands. I wiped it off on my pants. And looking down, I saw I had wiped it right on my crotch. Now, I'm pretty sure you all know what it must've looked like. Either my crotch was bleeding or I'd had my period(Gah! I'm a boy!) or something. And The Jerk had a spare pair of pants. Why do stories never end well?

But let me point out the very ending; a few months later, I gave the pants to my sister as a gift. The blood was still on them(blood is impossible to get off clothes) and they were turned inside out so she couldn't see. So she went to school in them and...
well...
you can guess.

Please tell me what ya think!

playaholic
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playaholic
1,098 posts
Farmer

one day,j.j. Abrams,the director of Star trek,got a memo from his secretary--------]
[------------------]<-----]
[get rid of the guy]
[ ]
[with pointy ears ]
[ ]
[------------------]

Somers
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Somers
1,532 posts
Nomad

My most hilarious joke????

Canadian Army

robotking98
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robotking98
124 posts
Nomad

Umm those aren't funny, I didn't laugh at a single one of those...

playaholic
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playaholic
1,098 posts
Farmer

A,B,C and D asked each other what they want to be when they grow up,here is the dialogue

A:I want to be a lawyer so that i can do just for my countrymen!

B:I want to be a soilder so that i can protect my fellow countrymen!

C:I want to be a doctor,so that i can treat illnesses for my follow countrymen

D:I wanted to be the governor so that i can cherish my countrymen,but after thinking about it, I want to be.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. A COUNTRYMAN!!!

ServerHost
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ServerHost
22 posts
Nomad

Make that one up on ur own, huh? Anyways...


How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?





One, but the lightbulb has to want to change!

playaholic
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playaholic
1,098 posts
Farmer

nice joke!

heres another one

one day,papa bunny was telling a story to bady bunny

papa bunnynce apon a time there was a cute little bunny called...

baby bunny:dad! I want something more science fiction!

papa bunnyk then...ONCE apon a time,in a galazy far far away,there was an evil bunny....

baby bunny:boring! make it more grown up please...

papa bunnyromise u would not tell mommy,ok?

baby bunny:OK!

papa bunnynce,there was a sexy,big breasted bunny called....

mama bunny:I heard that!!! stop this instant!!!what have we said about such stories!!!huh???!!!

djfinalmix
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djfinalmix
196 posts
Nomad

yo mommas so fat that when jesus said 'let there be light,' she had to move.

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