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Haiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)

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Posted Oct 4, '12 at 7:27pm

Maverick4

Maverick4

3,707 posts

Your innocence shall
Serve as a shield. Here's a rag;
Wipe your bloodied hands.

 

Posted Oct 4, '12 at 11:41pm

TackyCrazyTNT

TackyCrazyTNT

1,628 posts

Embrace his pale hands;
The cold is better than
The alternative.

 

Posted Oct 5, '12 at 12:41am

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

4,977 posts

Does this follow the 5-7-5 pattern?

Yep.

I expect the judge to know why Reaper is relevant....

Nice.

Your innocence shall
Serve as a shield.

I'm a fan of consonance, but this is a heluva tongue twister.

The cold is better than

6 syllables.

 

Posted Oct 5, '12 at 4:03pm

skydragon720

skydragon720

274 posts

The Reaper

unescapable,
silently following us,
we can run, cant hide.

Does this follow the 5-7-5 pattern?

yes, it does.

 

Posted Oct 5, '12 at 4:53pm

Maverick4

Maverick4

3,707 posts

I'm a fan of consonance, but this is a heluva tongue twister.

Is that a bad thing?

 

Posted Oct 5, '12 at 9:51pm

TackyCrazyTNT

TackyCrazyTNT

1,628 posts

Failure.

*Embrace his pale hands;
His cold breath is better than
The alternative.

 

Posted Oct 6, '12 at 12:19am

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

4,977 posts

Is that a bad thing?

I'm fine with it, but I'm not sure how acmed will respond.

His cold breath is better than

Wouldn't "cold touch" make more sense here?

 

Posted Oct 6, '12 at 12:36am

Salvidian

Salvidian

3,950 posts

Los compañeros agrícolas del segador eterno

Give him your burdens
He's an eternal soul mate
He does our work

Google translate doesn't do a justice. The title translates to "The farming companions of the eternal reaper." Google translate butchers that soooo much.

 

Posted Oct 6, '12 at 8:13am

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

4,977 posts

He does our work

4 syllables.

 

Posted Oct 6, '12 at 11:59am

Jacen96

Jacen96

2,179 posts

after looking at the them i decided to give it a shot.

Friendship with the reaper
The reaper comes soon
and he wants to be your friend
for deaths are mishaps

are we allowed multiple entries?

~~~Darth Caedus