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Haiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)

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Posted Oct 14, '12 at 9:59pm

skydragon720

skydragon720

274 posts

Anybody say party?

 

Posted Oct 14, '12 at 10:07pm

pangtongshu

pangtongshu

8,277 posts

Odd...you looked a lot older than 13 in your picture on The Faces of Armor Games thread acmed..

 

Posted Oct 14, '12 at 11:16pm

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

4,977 posts

Well, either dudeguy or Emp's judging this one, because I got an announcement. I'm basically quitting AG.

It would've been nice to know that a few days ago. I was free this weekend.

Now the earliest I can judge is Friday/Saturday (college: lots of homework). Dudeguy hasn't been on in a while, so I doubt he'd get it done sooner.

running

*ruining

 

Posted Oct 15, '12 at 3:13am

BadHaikuBird

BadHaikuBird

17 posts

This situation is hilarious.

It's time for a bad haiku.

Misguided dispute
Arrogance surrounds their words
They think they're clever

 

Posted Oct 15, '12 at 7:06am

Maverick4

Maverick4

3,707 posts

I can get it done by Tuesday, if thats allright with Emp and everyone else. Just as a one time thing, top five affair.

 

Posted Oct 15, '12 at 7:14am

acmed

acmed

1,921 posts

Odd...you looked a lot older than 13 in your picture on The Faces of Armor Games thread acmed..

I can't really explain that. I look like I should be in high school.

*ruining

*glares*

I can get it done by Tuesday, if thats allright with Emp and everyone else. Just as a one time thing, top five affair.

Thank you Mav. I appreciate it.

Thanks to all of you guys. This is the first online thing I've ever been a part of. Before I was immature, stupid, and not knowing how the internet works. With you guys, you told me my rights and wrongs. I'm part of other communities now. And thank you for that.

 

Posted Oct 15, '12 at 4:22pm

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

4,977 posts

I can get it done by Tuesday, if thats allright with Emp and everyone else.

Much obliged. As a reward, I'll let you select the theme for the next round I judge (which could be soon if dudeguy doesn't show up).

 

Posted Oct 15, '12 at 5:57pm

Maverick4

Maverick4

3,707 posts

I've got time now, so expect the judging shortly.

 

Posted Oct 15, '12 at 6:36pm

jezz

jezz

1,447 posts

@acmed, one last thing before you leave. If you judge contests in those other forums you're part of but you wanna quit them too, tell them you're quitting the day the judging is due, not 4 days after!
But still, it's a shame to see an active member go.

Good job saving the day Mav, sure you don't wanna be full time judge for this or the poetry contest?
Pretty please? :3

 

Posted Oct 15, '12 at 7:53pm

Maverick4

Maverick4

3,707 posts

I'll be judging this round, in accordance with Acmed's resignation. As it was I who put him in charge of the contest, I'd like to personally apologize for this. Unfortunately there wasn't much  anyone could have done, since a rather crucial piece of information was missing. But that was yesterday, and lets spend today looking to tomorrow. And merits. Always the merits.

And now, the judging. Fortunately, everybody submitted a haiku that could qualify for winning, so I think everyone can pat themselves on the back for that. Unfortunately, many people had a lack of punctuation (those funny dquiggles that appear when you hit the shift key). Punctuation plays an important role in haiku, since an individual has only three lines and seventeen syllables to work with. Thus, punctuation allows a person to put a sort of rhythm into their piece, and allows emphasis to be added or removed from a cetain line or phrase. Coupled with enjabment Google), it can turn a bland haiku into a good one. So because of that, the plethora of haikus was chopped down into just a few. So here are the top five. If your haiku wasn't critiqued,  feel free to message it to me on my profile:

waluigi

A melodic riff;
sound of the azure mollusk,
cowbell fills the air.

This had better be a reference to a Monty Python skit. Because if not, you are one lucky man. Everyone should watch the Salmon Mousse skit.

But for capitalization, this would have done better. Of course, thats rather dependent upon the judge getting the joke. Heres a glass of water. Knock yourself out.

4) Jess

Death's faithful servants,
Take us in a ghostly haze,
And it is gentle.

After my spiel about punctuation, it might been seen as hypocritical to make the next statement: the comma at the end of the first line throws off the flow. The phrase 'too much of a good thing' might come to mind. It causes an unnatural jolt to erupt into the poem, which makes it odd to speak aloud.

But you paint a good picture, and one that can resonate with many people. The only thing more fearful than death is the motion of a bunch of them running around. So congratulations, here's a free bus token, there's the door.

3) jeol

Silent, courageous,
Did he stand before them - his
Heart shivered with dread.

A different take on the theme: something other than the obvious choice of death is the object of fear. You do a good job overall, and a 'shivering heart' is a rather nice piece of imagery. This is a solid haiku; I have no complaints. Have a puppy! Or a picture of one, anyways. Good day.

2) jdoggparty

Black garbs, swift movement
Run, but do not be afraid
For he takes them all

A very classic take on the theme, with the stereotypical relay of Mr. Grim himself. But it works out in this case, as you go on to describe his actions after describing his physical appearance. Another solid haiku, except that I think you forgot to type a period at the end! The consolation prize is a dictionary. Exiting, I know.

1) Nicho

Massive death payloads,
Shatters our innocent lives,
Watch them flee far now.

First and foremost, I disagree with your politics. But this is neither the place nor the time for that debate. This haiku wins first today since you both deliver a strong message and yet sacrifices none of the poetical quality of the haiku. A very creative take on the theme means you earned the spot well and truly. Heres a coupon for a merit, but I think it expired two months ago. Oh well.

If I am permitted to say it, the theme for the next round will be Uprising, and will be due on the 25th of October. Should you lack inspiration, give the song by Muse a listen to; it's also called Uprising, if you didn't pick up on that.