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Haiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)

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Posted Dec 2, '12 at 6:40pm

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

5,011 posts

The NEW THEME is: Paradise of Ice (no meth references please). It will be due at 11:59pm AGtime on Dec 13.

 

Posted Dec 3, '12 at 6:20pm

xXxDAPRO89xXx

xXxDAPRO89xXx

4,404 posts

I'd like to point a few things out however. In the first line 'turkeys' should be 'turkey's'. Remember, your sentence is actually, 'the turkey is roasting', so apostrophe 's' is necessary. It's still not correct though because you follow it with 'Their' in the next line.

Oh sorry. I knew this one wasn't that good. I was gonna say that for turkeys i meant more than one but the their in the next line does render it like that lol... :/ Sorry...

One last thing, there is a lack of punctuation in the first and third line.

Punctuation? I thought poetry didn't require it... But okay i'll do it next time ;P
Thanks for judging though :)

PS.
Congratz to Nicho... :3

 

Posted Dec 3, '12 at 6:38pm

murasaki9

murasaki9

1,344 posts

Punctuation? I thought poetry didn't require it... But okay i'll do it next time ;P
Thanks for judging though :)

Um...I don't know about that. All I know is that punctuation is good even for poems. Haikus are an ancient form of poetry. Maybe punctuation doesn't apply for poetry but I think it does for Haikus. :D
And don't say it wasn't that good. As you can see all the submissions were really close. I had a hard time deciding which one was the winner. :D Good work though. Keep shooting for the stars!

 

Posted Dec 4, '12 at 11:16am

GhostOfHorror

GhostOfHorror

801 posts

New theme is meh, paradise of snow would've been more fitting for the time of year, but hey.
I'll try get something in.

 

Posted Dec 5, '12 at 1:12am

xXxDAPRO89xXx

xXxDAPRO89xXx

4,404 posts

Paradise of ice.
A parade never-ending.
The one icey life.

Hmm... I think i can do better. But thats my submission. BTW 500th post! Yippee! ;)

 

Posted Dec 5, '12 at 3:33am

Arceus12

Arceus12

144 posts

Paradise in ice,
Like a frozen area of ice,
They live in ice now.

This is one of my best submissions.So let the best Armor Gamer win.

 

Posted Dec 5, '12 at 8:56am

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

5,011 posts

Like a frozen area of ice,

Too many syllables.

 

Posted Dec 5, '12 at 9:15am

pickpocket

pickpocket

3,520 posts

Paradise of ice
Its where I keep all my food
Refrigerator

Maybe a more serious one soon :P

 

Posted Dec 5, '12 at 9:47am

Arceus12

Arceus12

144 posts

Ok EmperorPalpatine i ment Like a cold area of ice

 

Posted Dec 5, '12 at 12:17pm

xerox

xerox

316 posts

Cold air passes through...
Winter finally is here!
Paradise of ice!