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Haiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)

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Posted Dec 14, '12 at 10:01am

MagicTree

MagicTree

360 posts

(1)Shards (2)of (3)ice (4)make (5)a (6)mo(7)sa(8)ic
Too many syllables

I pronounce it "mo-zayk" in this.

 

Posted Dec 14, '12 at 3:39pm

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

5,011 posts

If I *can* change it.

Sorry, no. It's past the deadline. Submissions can't be accepted after that.

I pronounce it "mo-zayk" in this.

I'll let it slide this time, just because I didn't make a rule regarding this yet, but next time please find a source that accepts this. The greek endings of 'aic' or 'oic' tend to be split into 2 syllables, such as in archaic, algebraic, stoic, heroic.

NEW RULE: if you're unsure of a word's syllables due to regional differences or otherwise, find a reputable source that agrees with your pronunciation.

 

Posted Dec 14, '12 at 3:54pm

GhostOfHorror

GhostOfHorror

801 posts

It's past the deadline. Submissions can't be accepted after that.

You didn't give me much time to change it.

 

Posted Dec 14, '12 at 4:13pm

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

5,011 posts

You didn't give me much time to change it.

I'd need to make exceptions for everyone who messes up their syllables. Some might do it on purpose just to get an extention.

 

Posted Dec 14, '12 at 6:48pm

xXxDAPRO89xXx

xXxDAPRO89xXx

4,404 posts

Hey guys... It's the fourteenth? When will this contest be over? ;P

 

Posted Dec 14, '12 at 8:03pm

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

5,011 posts

I'm working on the critiques now. In the meantime, since there have been a lot of resubs this round, can someone please verify that I've got everyone's final sumissions? I'd hate to leave someone out or judge the wrong one.

--------------------
xXxDAPRO89xXx

Paradise of ice.
A parade never-ending.
The one icey life

--------------------
Arceus12

Paradise in ice,
Like an ice-cold  block of ice
They live in ice now

--------------------
pickpocket

Paradise of ice
It's where I keep all my food
Refrigerator

--------------------
xerox

Cold air passes through...
Winter finally is here:
Paradise of ice!

--------------------
Roxxar123

The cold air of ice,
Brings a feel of paradise
Paradise of ice.

--------------------
killersup10

blistering tundra
beautiful swollen snowflakes
frozen paradise

--------------------
Maverick4

I can't be bothered
To even attempt to feel.
Apathy at last!

--------------------
Nichodemus

Pleasing shade of pink,
Scent of the blazing tropics,
Yet cool on the tongue.

--------------------
MagicTree

Blissful cold freezes,
Shards of ice make a mosaic
Snow rests, soft and silent

--------------------
pangtongshu

So call'd paradise!
A white demon's tyranny
Traps hope down, frozen

--------------------
69_lol_69

Paradise of ice.
An entourage of coldness
Icicle loving.
--------------------

 

Posted Dec 15, '12 at 4:50am

GhostOfHorror

GhostOfHorror

801 posts

Palp, is it possible for you to judge mine and disregard it as part of the competition?

 

Posted Dec 15, '12 at 8:02am

MagicTree

MagicTree

360 posts

OK, next time it won't happen, Palpatine. Sorry about that.

 

Posted Dec 15, '12 at 12:26pm

xXxDAPRO89xXx

xXxDAPRO89xXx

4,404 posts

xXxDAPRO89xXx

Paradise of ice.
A parade never-ending.
The one icey life

That's my final entry.

 

Posted Dec 15, '12 at 12:55pm

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

5,011 posts

I'll have the results up tonight unless I missed someone's.

OK, next time it won't happen, Palpatine. Sorry about that.

No problem.

Palp, is it possible for you to judge mine and disregard it as part of the competition?

Ok.

(NOT part of contest)

GhostOfHorror

To find salvation
in a frozen paradise,
where bodies lie still.

This is a sentence fragment, which makes little sense alone, creating a lack of flow. I like how it begins a bit hopeful, that the land itself is a beautiful place, then ends with the crushing, dismal reality that the land is like a graveyard. Overall, a good idea, but the execution could have been a bit better.