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Haiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)

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Posted Jan 5, '13 at 8:55am

MrStealth

MrStealth

137 posts

what are these about

 

Posted Jan 5, '13 at 10:31am

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

4,972 posts

It's already January 5th,is the judging finish?

The contest continues through midnight tonight. Judging may take a few days after that.

what are these about

See page 1 for the general rules, and make a haiku based on the theme in the title.

 

Posted Jan 6, '13 at 12:43am

murasaki9

murasaki9

1,342 posts

So far as I see, these are the entries for this round. Correct me if I'm wrong or forever hold thy peace.

Arceus12
Renovate colleague,
This microprocessor now!
To it's glory now!

Acmed
Lord, heal my wounded,
Restore the strengths you've given,
Protect me from harm.

Freakenstein

Honey dewdrops morn
gives Green respite 'fore the day
To sparkle with life

Lee_Blade
Heal me from my wounds
Restore me from the darkness
God,guide me to light

ArgamenPhish

Pained and broken down
Lost in despair, looking up
Bestowed strength to me

nichodemus
Charles II
Death for his father,
Merry Monarch plots away,
Return of the King.

HahiHa
Smaugs desolation,
It is free from fire's bane;
The Dread Worm is dead.

Sk8terjiff
Drowning mass of scars.
Swim in tears of sins best lost.
Cleansing bath of pain.

marton96

In the light I stand
Filled deep with grief and sorrow
Cleansing my old wounds

pangtongshu
Long forgotten youth
He finds, preserved in photos
Nostalgic tears fall

xxBoogeymaNxx
Pain from yester-year
Restored by liquid fire
So he drinks some more

The results will be submitted no later than midnight tomorrow. So, cross your fingers.

 

Posted Jan 6, '13 at 1:15am

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

4,972 posts

To avoid potential conflict,
497: "Judges cannot be considered for winning contests by other judges, but they are allowed to enter for fun."
As they have not been judges yet, nicho and pang are eligible for winning, but after they judge a round, they will not be until they denounce the title.

 

Posted Jan 6, '13 at 2:14am

Lee_Blade

Lee_Blade

86 posts

Why isn't Maverick4 entering? He is a good writer.

 

Posted Jan 6, '13 at 10:44am

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

4,972 posts

You can't win twice in a row and he won last round. He could've entered for fun, but I guess he was busy or something.

 

Posted Jan 6, '13 at 2:22pm

murasaki9

murasaki9

1,342 posts

The theme this round was Restoration. The haikus have been judged according to these definitions. If your haiku doesn't match at least one of these definitions, it will be judged but bear in mind it may not be eligible to win the round.
1.the act of restoring; renewal, revival, or reestablishment.
2.the state or fact of being restored.
3.a return of something to a former, original, normal, or unimpaired condition.
4.restitution of something taken away or lost.
5.something that is restored, as by renovating.

Arceus12
Renovate colleague,
This microprocessor now!
To it's glory now!

I get the idea that this haiku is about a computer or something being 'restored' to former glory. A very interesting concept though a somewhat strange haiku. I do have one beef and...no, two beeves and here they are. It would have sounded better or not so awkward to say 'Colleague, Renovate, This microprocessor now, to former glory.' Never mind punctuation, I just inserted that for clarity's sake. The nows just seem kind of repetitive. Additionally, 'To it's glory now!' isn't correct because 'it's' means 'it is'. The line should read 'To its glory now!'

Acmed
Lord, heal my wounded,
Restore the strengths you've given,
Protect me from harm.

This is a perfect haiku except for the first line, which should probably read 'Lord, please heal my wounds,' unless you did mean 'heal my wounded'. But if you did mean that, the third line should read 'Protect us from harm.' Otherwise, a beautiful but simple plea for 'restoration' is embodied by your haiku. Good work.

Freakenstein
Honey dewdrops morn
gives Green respite 'fore the day
To sparkle with life

What a poetically tuned haiku. Expressing the morning dew as honey gives it some zing. I assume that 'Green' refers to the grass which the dew forms on. Here you address the idea of restoration by speaking briefly of the relationship which dewdrops and grass have together. It is well illustrated.

Lee_Blade
Heal me from my wounds
Restore me from the darkness
God,guide me to light

This is a perfect haiku, expressing an honest, simple plea for restoration from the Divine. Good work in keeping in mind the many facets of this round's theme and attempting to implement those facets into your submission. Good work.

ArgamenPhish
Pained and broken down
Lost in despair, looking up
Bestowed strength to me

This is a new take on restoration. Unique is always good. There is an abrupt quality to your poetry, a technique few poets can master and present in an elegant fashion, which you demonstrate you are capable of doing. The only thing is that given the shortness of a haiku it is often hard to explain everything in detail. When you say 'looking up Bestowed strength to me' do you mean that 'looking up' restored the narrator? Because if so, looking up to what? Or is it possible that merely looking upward, or heavenward could restore strength? I see a metaphor implied. Good work.

nichodemus
Charles II
Death for his father,
Merry Monarch plots away,
Return of the King.

In the vein of history and years, decades, centuries gone by, this is an excellent haiku. There is a somewhat humorous element to it, I don't know if it was intended, but I get the idea that the Monarch happily plots his father's death. This haiku is true to the story of Charles II, a real political figure during the 1600s of England, which I'm sure you knew. The element of restoration is very apparent for those familiar with Charles II and Charles the I and Oliver Cromwell. A very masterful work of art, combining poetry and history to create a haiku. Good work!

HahiHa
Smaugs desolation,
It is free from fire's bane;
The Dread Worm is dead.

An ode to one of the greatest fictional sagas in history? I think so! However, it's imperative that people know what is free from 'fire's' bane: the desolation, Smaug? And I don't really know if 'fire' can be considered two syllables since there seems to be much discussion surrounding the word. I will let it pass, since I think of it as two. Although there isn't really an element of restoration present in this haiku, it's more a sense of victory, or defeat for the Worm, as it may be, credit must be given to the great writer who has so cleverly paid a tribute to another great author.

Sk8terjiff
Drowning mass of scars.
Swim in tears of sins best lost.
Cleansing bath of pain.

There seems to be a mysterious feel surrounding this haiku. At first read I'm confused about its meaning. At second glance I get this idea. The mass of scars are drowning. Something is swimming in tears made of sins that are best lost. And there is a cleansing bath comprised of pain. Somehow, I don't find any quality of restoration. For clarity's sake, the first line speaks of someone drowning in scars. The second line speaks of someone swimming in tears and the third line speaks of someone bathing in a cleansing bath of pain. I really can't fathom where the restoration aspect is, unless I missed something. Good work anyway.

marton96
In the light I stand
Filled deep with grief and sorrow
Cleansing my old wounds

The message here seems to be that of a 'if you fall in the dust, you get up, lick your wounds and try again.' While there is the quality of 'cleansing my old wounds' as in trying again or getting up and moving on, there is also the fact of being 'in the light', referring to being restored from a former state of pain or sorrow. Beautiful poem with deep references. Good work.

pangtongshu
Long forgotten youth
He finds, preserved in photos
Nostalgic tears fall

Does he find 'long forgotten youth...preserved in photos' or does he find 'nostalgic tears' preserved in photos? I suppose the message is: he finds long forgotten youth preserved in photos and in reminiscing, he cries. What a strongly poignant message. It is somewhat confused as in mixed up causing the reader to do a double take, or a triple take or a quadruple take. And that is a beautiful thing. To be able to write in a way that causes others to read your work over and over again gives readers a wonderful gift. Each time they read it they discover something new. Excellent job. You really had me fooled. But then, I might ask, where is your element of restoration? Ah, after a sixth read, I conclude that you speak of longing for restoration implied by the first line 'long forgotten youth'. Very good work.

xxBoogeymaNxx
Pain from yester-year
Restored by liquid fire
So he drinks some more

So, this man has a drinking problem? Trying to forget his pains he drinks some more? Is his pain caused by the liquid fire? And liquid fire I think refers to alcohol, correct? Drinking more won't help the poor guy. Anyway, if you mean that he is restored to his pain by drinking, then, the element of restoration is given a bad name. If you mean that by drinking he is restored from his pain, then the element of restoration becomes garbled, because drunkenness isn't a normal or unimpaired state. But good work. Making your reader think and ask questions, to some extent, is good.

And... the winner is...
*drumroll*
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pangtongshu

for making me read his haiku over more than anyone else and for taking restoration to new heights. Congrats!

Now, over to Nicho! Good luck, people!

 

Posted Jan 6, '13 at 4:43pm

pangtongshu

pangtongshu

8,241 posts

I suppose the message is: he finds long forgotten youth preserved in photos and in reminiscing, he cries

You got it!

I conclude that you speak of longing for restoration implied by the first line 'long forgotten youth'

Essentially..yes. And also the idea of a somewhat unexpected restoration..if that makes sense

And... the winner is...
*drumroll*
pangtongshu

*gasp* that is me! =D wooo!!! Thank you very much!

 

Posted Jan 6, '13 at 5:00pm

HahiHa

HahiHa

4,959 posts

Knight

Congrats pang!

@murasaki:
I thought nichos word was enough, but maybe it needs some clarification..
- yes, fire can generally be counted as two syllables.
- Free from fire's bane is the desolation of Smaug, which is the name given to the area around the Lonely Mountain, desolated because of the worms flames. It is now free from his fire as he is dead.
- What's it got to do with restoration? Now that the malefic fire is gone, birds came back, Dale is rebuilt, and the vegetation wil also be coming back; the whole region is once again thriving and peaceful. Thus restoration. Sorry for not explaining beforehand.

 

Posted Jan 6, '13 at 5:05pm

kevin8ye

kevin8ye

514 posts

wow...Last time I was on AG, at haiku, i was on Page 488.... 2 months later.... PAGE 524