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Haiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)

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Posted Jan 21, '13 at 7:33pm

arcticwolf33

arcticwolf33

485 posts

Hate and anger reign
Rising high, controlling all
Unstoppable death

 

Posted Jan 23, '13 at 12:46am

pangtongshu

pangtongshu

9,700 posts

Alright y'all...last day to get your submissions in

And keep in mind the theme...

 

Posted Jan 23, '13 at 2:46am

Lee_Blade

Lee_Blade

97 posts

Good luck you guys,sorry I am not active for like a week.

 

Posted Jan 23, '13 at 3:44pm

Peter20

Peter20

552 posts

Done for a purpose,
to save the fate of many,
the world must be hurt.

 

Posted Jan 24, '13 at 12:11am

pangtongshu

pangtongshu

9,700 posts

Alright...round is over! I shall hopefully have judging done sometime tonight..most likely after I make my rounds in the forum

 

Posted Jan 24, '13 at 1:53am

pangtongshu

pangtongshu

9,700 posts

Results

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kevin8ye

Evil, the terror
Belief corrupts the doers
In darkness they sway

To start, this is a good haiku. Gives good imagery about the status of these "evil-doers". However, I fail to see how this evil of theirs is Necessary. I see how they have been corrupted by their beliefs..is it necessary in the sense of because of their beliefs they are viewed as evil? But then, that is quite the huge implication on my part..

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sourwhatup2

Darkness in his eyes
Sorrow upon all their souls
''It has to be done..''

Love the imagery right at the beginning. Gives the reader an idea that the topic (the evil-doer) is evil/not-good. Then, with the 2nd line you establish himself further as evil, as well as an establishment of a theme: Hopelessness. The theme is then topped-off with the last lines, which gives this haiku a much more sorrowful tone...and exemplifies an idea that I hold true: Punctuation can do great things for a poem, or hurt it. In the case of this haiku, it did great things. The dots after the words spoken give a large hint of the words being dropped off as they are said, majorly hinting that the person committing these deeds does not truly wish to do so. Great job

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Lee_Blade

Darkness rules their soul
It's guilt and sorrow they seek
Innocent lives,killed...

With the first line...is it a necessary evil because the darkness is causing it? This is quite a stretch on my part..
Now, I'd like to keep going with this stretch of mine and try to make it work, but then the next line just abolishes any hope for that. The statement "it's guilt and sorrow they seek" just throws this haiku into disarray. Why are they seeking guilt? Are they hunting out guilt? Are they wanting to feel guilt? And sorrow..are they wanting to cause it? With the next line..it sure seems so. Which would make their act a voluntary act..and not necessary at all

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Freakenstein

The third eye judges
cons and thieves by puppet twine
Swords and teeth gave hope

This was also a very good one. From my interpretation..the cons and thieves that are being judged are those titles due to "puppet twine". This interpretation, if meant, is awesome..the idea that their evil was necessary because they were mere puppets and thus had no control for their actions. The third line seems to be an explanation for as to why they fell into their controlled lifestyle..it gave them some sort of hope. Poverty? Debts? etc
My irk..the first 2 lines give hint that it is a sentence (the lowercasing of "cons" implicating that the sentence is continuing). Those 2 lines are fine..the 3rd line, however, doesn't have any punctuation before it (at end of 2nd line)..giving hint that it is also a part of the sentence...which would make that sentence a bit...unnatural.

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arcticwolf33

Hate and anger reign
Rising high, controlling all
Unstoppable death

This haiku seems to completely ignore the "Necessary" part of the theme and focuses solely on the "Evil" part. Evil was not the theme. Necessary evil was..I see no hint of necessity in your haiku.

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Peter20

Done for a purpose,
to save the fate of many,
the world must be hurt.

Very blunt..but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. With this, the reader (without a doubt) gets an understanding that the world must be hurt for a greater good. My irk..the first line could have been a separate idea. Adding it into the sentence makes it a bit awkward overall

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And the winner is....

*epic drumroll, but nearly not as epic as Emp's*

sourwhatup2!

With the beginning giving the reader a sense of evil, darkness, and pain..then ending it by offering the perspective of the evil-doer and how he must grudgingly do such deeds..this haiku has an amazing set-up and a great ambiance

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Thank you all for participating. Keep it up!

 

Posted Jan 24, '13 at 2:51am

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

9,436 posts

I really shouldn't be up this late, but meh.

sourwhatup21's haiku will be displayed in the About of HaikuContestWinners.

epic drumroll

You could've at least linked to a drumroll (or not).

Anyway, I'm not sure if the next round goes to me or murasaki9 (or if our patsy... I mean "respected partner", pang, should be forced... I mean "allowed" to do it again). If I don't get a response from her by around noon AGtime tomorrow, I'll do it myself.
 

Posted Jan 24, '13 at 8:32am

sourwhatup2

sourwhatup2

3,795 posts

Oh wow I won. :P What's the next theme? By the way I can't win 2 times in a row right? If so, I'll still post just don't take mine into account.

 

Posted Jan 24, '13 at 12:02pm

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

9,436 posts

The NEW THEME is: Broken Bond
Due: Feb 2.

By the way I can't win 2 times in a row right? If so, I'll still post just don't take mine into account.

Right. I'll judge it fairly, but it can't win.
 

Posted Jan 24, '13 at 10:47pm

Devoidless

Devoidless

3,838 posts

Thing are changing! Look over here for more info!