Forums → The Tavern → Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris can delete the recycle bin.

When Chuck Norris gives you the middle finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Chuck Norris has died, it's just that Death is too afraid to tell him.

chuck was born in a log cabin that he built.

Chuck Norris died But heaven doesn't want him and Hells afraid hill take over.

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer... To bad he never cries.

wow i wish i could make jokes but i got milk.......

They say Chuck Norris' teas can cure cancer, too bad he doesn't cry.
Only Chuck Norris can stop forrest fires (a t-shirt not a joke).
lol. I have more but they aren't coming to me right now. When I remember them I'll reply to this again. later bros.

I wish I could make jokes but I got milk.......

-Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

-Chuck Norris did in fact build Rome in a day.

-When Chuck Norris was born, the only one who cried was the doctor. No one slaps Chuck Norris.

-If by some incredible space time paradox Chuck Norris were ever to fight himself, he'd win. Period

-Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris, but they usually grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

-Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.

These are all off the top of my head. I'd list more but I'm sure people would get mad.

- It took God 6 days and a day make everything then rested. Chuck Norris could do it in 6 seconds and Chuck Norris never rests.

-Rome wasn't built in a day, because they didn't have Chuck Norris.

-Chuck Norris rips phone booths in half.

-If Chuck Norris enters the Olympics they hand out gold meddles for second place.

-The only person who can beat Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

Chuck norris makes the earth revolve around the sun.

Uah Oh! Chuck Norris is on a killin spree better start out by killin me.

Chuck Norris once walked into a Rock Concert and is now responsible for 500 deaths but didn't got to jail...why? cause they all killed themselves at the very site of Chuck.

If Chuck Norris was a president there would be world piece...too bad Chuck Norris doesn't care about the world.

Chuck Norris is the only man with an 3rection that can turn a porno into a horror horror movie.

I came up with these a while ago.........because Chuck Norris told me to.

there is no CTRL button on Chuck Norris' computer because he is always in control!

Chuck Norris doesn't breathe he holds air hostage!

Chuck norris is lukes father.

If Chuck Norris (some how) misses you with his roundhouse kick. The air behind it will rip out your pancreas out of your stomach!

-Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

-Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)

-The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

-Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

-Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.