ForumsThe TavernChuck Norris jokes

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freakymonkey
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freakymonkey
290 posts
Nomad

hi,guys just keep making more jokes here's three to start you off:

-Chuck Norris can burn ants with a magnifying glass............ At night.

- Chuck Norris makes cars look both ways before they cross the road.

-There is no such thing as tornadoes Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks

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MedusaSabre
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MedusaSabre
51 posts
Nomad

Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroache and Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open

Who would win a race between Ironman and Superman to the moon? Chuck Norris

HoodHulk58
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HoodHulk58
1,181 posts
Nomad

Chuck Norris is the only man to do the moon run on the MOON.

Chuck Norris works out in space by bench pressing Saturn.

HoodHulk58
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HoodHulk58
1,181 posts
Nomad

Chuck Norris runs from Earth to the sun to pluto and back in one breathe in .0000000000000000000000000000000001 seconds.

MedusaSabre
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MedusaSabre
51 posts
Nomad

There is no 'Ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

What's known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn't use its full name which happens to be, "Ultimate Fighting Championship, Non-Chuck-Norris-Division."

When Chuck Norris looks into a mirror it breaks because it is smart enough to know not to get in the middle of Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

The original name of Alien vs Predator was Alien vs Predator vs Chuck Norris, but the producers realized that nobody would ever watch a movie that only lasted 14 seconds

compaq7550
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compaq7550
164 posts
Nomad

-The 11th commandment is "Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris" This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.

-When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.

-Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

-Chuck Norris has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.

compaq7550
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compaq7550
164 posts
Nomad

-After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"

-Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.

-When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.

-There are no such things as tornadoes. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

compaq7550
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compaq7550
164 posts
Nomad

-Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Fillet of Child" sandwich.

-TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure indigestion.

-One time, at band camp, Chuck Norris ate a percussionist.

-Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.

compaq7550
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compaq7550
164 posts
Nomad

And that's all folks.

MageGrayWolf
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MageGrayWolf
9,470 posts
Farmer

Chuck Norris can post in a thread even after it's been locked or deleted.

Graham
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Graham
8,052 posts
Nomad

nothing is perfect...except chuck norris
chuck norris doesn't need (item). (item) needs chuck norris.
to chuck norris, the universe is a pinball game.
chuck norris knows the equation for the answer of life, 42.

alabasterdragon
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alabasterdragon
87 posts
Nomad

Chuck Norris always knows where Carmen San Diego is.

playaholic
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playaholic
1,098 posts
Farmer

chuck norris dont drive because he had learnt drunken fighting,and also the ability to act drunk even without beer(thats real!i mean the ability to act drunk even without beer part)

Armourknight
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Armourknight
1,028 posts
Nomad

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Armourknight
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Armourknight
1,028 posts
Nomad

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

FryLock19
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FryLock19
1,312 posts
Peasant

Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

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