Forums → The Tavern → Chuck Norris jokes

The football saying goes "if you can touch it, you can catch it"
but this works to "if you are chuck norris you will catch it"

Chuck Norris is the reason that there is no life on Mars!

AND

Aliens have never come to Earth because there afaid Chuck Norris will find them!

Chuck norris can speak japanese...... In french...

damn chuck norris

Chuck Norris doesn't mate because Dinosaurs are extinct.

Chuck Norris eats nuts and bolts for breakfast

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

There is no "Backspace" button on Chuck Norris' computer, he always goes forward because he is never wrong.

Chuck Norris lost both legs in a car crash and was still able to walk it off

Chuck Norris beat the sun at a staring contest

There is no ESC buton on Chuck Norris' computer because you can't escape Chuck Norris.

Vin Diesel drifted under a flaming oil truck, Chuck Norris drifted under Vin Diesel DRIFTING under a flaming oil truck and Chuck Norris had a blindfold on...

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Guns don't kill people,Chuck norris kills people.
Chuck norris doesn't cheat death...he wins fair and square.
Once a cobra bit Chuck norris's leg.After 5 days of extream pain the cobra died.
If you do not use capitals for the C of C and for the N of Norris then Chuck Norris come to your house and round house kicks you. If you play led zipplens "stair way to heaven" backwards you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.

Chuck Norris has a feminine side..................................................................................... he promtly got it pregnant.

chuck norris can can fly without wings

chuck norris can shoot bullets without a gun

when 'Scream' met chuck norris, he screamed