Forums → The Tavern → Chuck Norris jokes

The monster in the closet isn't there to scare you, he is hiding from chuck norris

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris doesn't act like he's killing somebody in his movies he just plain out kills them.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a plane to fly across the world he just makes the world go spin faster till hes there

Chuck Norris is the reason spider-man hides covers his face

Chuck Norris gave a roundhouse kick to the Pacific Ocean and flooded all of New york there where no survivors.

Chuck Norris can make a man cry........after he died.

Chuck Norris can kick a man in the throat by kicking him in the nuts.

Chuck Norris doesnt take pictures he freezez time and paints it on a post it note.

Chuck Norris shot to pac all nine times

Chuck Norris stole the holy grail and now uses it to set his candles on.

Chuck Norris is the reason Lindsey Lohan can't drive.

Chuck Norris won a movie award for best drama, action, adventure, best kiss, best fight scene, most creative, and best actor. awards for just 2 seconds of showing a picture of himself.

Chuck Norris is the reason for the lening tower of piza.

Chuck Norris once kicked a dead man in the heart and made his soul return to his body.

Chick Norris can hit a man in the soul.

Chuck Norris killed god.

A Chuck Norris RHK is the reason for Katrina.

Chuck Norris makes tornadoes with a RHK.

If Chuck Norris was blind, def, and couldn't smell he could find his way out of a maze.

Chuck Norris was temporarily blind for 36 hours and during the first 12 hours of his blindness he could still see during a black out.

Chuck Norris can fake a heart attack over the internet

Chuck Norris is voted for Obama 1 time and his vote was so awesome it counted as 23917-13275289 votes.

Chuck Norris is the reason why this thread was made.

THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT

Chuck norris made hood hulk post that.

Chuck norris made hood hulk post that.

-If you write Chuck Norris for every answer on your SATs, you will score over 8000.
-Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
-If you spell Chuck Norris in scrable, you win. Forever.


I know hundreds, but it would take me forever to list them.

chuck norris can swim,upstream on a rushing river!

Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush!!

- Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast food restaurants throughout the southwest, they serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and hot pockets.

- Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong to a "How many testicles do you have contest?": Chuck Norris won by five.

- Chuck Norris counted to infinity...twice.

- Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks the closet for Chuck Norris.

- Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

- Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, alcohol, sexual intercourse, and football...in that order.

How does Chuck Norris kill cockroaches?
He looks at them.

Chuck Norris doesn't jump off a diving board, the diving board pushes him off.

-Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, as that would imply that theres a chance of failure. Instead, Chuck Norris goes Killing.

-Contrary to belief, cars were actually invented to help people escape Chuck Norris. Then, Chuck Norris invented the Car Accident.

-When Chuck Norris jumps into a pool, Chuck Norris doesnt get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.

-Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

-Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

When I was talking to Chuck Norris He asked me when he was born what was the first thing that came out the whom? I said i dont know what?
He said Deeeez Nuts

Chuck Norris Runs a 4'7 on land............and air.

Chuck Norris is the reason why dinosaurs are dead.

A World Mix Martial Arts Tournament was won without a single punch, kick, sleeper hold or even a submission...how?...all the competitors forfeited after the announcer said Chuck Norris.

For Halloween Chuck Norris is gonna dress up as a pig and tell everybody he's Swine Flu.

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.

Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.

Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.

Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.