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Yet another Story Idea -MoonFairy Inspired by Exit Path

Posted May 27, '10 at 10:01pm

MoonFairy

MoonFairy

3,216 posts

My elemental ninjas are coming soon people, don't fret. But The new game, Exit path, is so aweomse, ima going to base a little story or book from it. Fo shizzle.

"T46 9015! It is your chance for Freedom! Come, Show us that you deserve it! Pass through our tests and you will be free!" The Voice said from the Speaker. I looked around as they called my name. All of us, just pawns in a cruel game of cat and mouse. We all knew it, but we didn't want to face it. A few of the new Runners gave me looks of envy. If only they new that they would die if their name got called. I rose from my seat, and with an emotionless face, walked through the door.

I was greeted by a machine. Another emotionless thing, but not alive as we runners were. How I envied it.
"T46 9015, please continue into the stadium. I am sure that you will be the one to win and be set free! Good Luck and do your best!" The cold silver machine said. All of us in waiting had heard the excact same thing as the others left. We could hear it through the door way, and we knew it was Death, bekoning for us.

I walked through the next door, where a bright light was shined on my pale blue face, and I heard thousands laughing, screaming, clapping, whistling. It was not cheerful. It was cold and cruel. I stood before them, on a platform, and I refused to show any emotion. The platform started moving towards another platform, and I knew I was to see hundreds more. I looked behind me, at the door, and I saw the grim faces of my fellow people looking at me as I left.

The platform quit moving as it reached the other one, and not too far, I saw the spikes and axes. But I showed no fear. I don't think I ever will again. Don't give them a reason to suspect you. F49 1506 told me. It is possible to leave, just never let them see that you have feelings, and they will let you pass, then you must run faster than you ever have before

How much hope is there? He was the One that left. He got out somehow. Who knows what he had to face. When the Humans carried him back through the door, he yelled it to everyone.
The Humans procceded to dump him on the floor and withouht mercy, one of the Humans beat him till he quit trying to stand. "This is a bad runner. Do not listen to him, he speaks lies to you all. You can be freed as long as you finish through the stadium! Then you must complete a last test and you are free to go wherever you want!" The Human said. He had cold blue eyes and shaggy black hair.

But the other Human I was more interested in. He had soft green eyes with brown streaks. Like the eyes of my People. He had golden hair, with darker streaks. As my child self looked at him, and he looked at me, I saw a struggle in his heart. His eyes faltered and he looked away. "Zhe shekai sei?" I questioned the man. The blue eyed Human looked at me, and took out his knife. I ran to the corner of the room and curled in a ball. "Nei! Nei! Shoni baiya!" I screamed.
The Human grabbed my arm and sliced downward. "Zhe Uaimaiga!" I yelled at the man.

"Rhe shika bai nei sie." The Human spat at me. I stared at the other Human and gave him a pleading look. "Was that neccesary Sean?" The Human asked.
"Oh, so now you have pity for them John? God ****!" The Human named Sean told the other Human.
"Lets just go. Get rid of F49 1506, and we are done." The Human named John said.

John looked at me and handed me a bandage as Sean took out a gun. "Zhe shekai di John?" I asked. "Hai. Zhe shekai di..?" John asked. I smiled and said "Daiyama." John smiled back at me and helped wrapped my bandage. "Daiyama, Yaloe." John said when he finished. "Yaloe." I responded. He looked over his shoulder then covered my ears. I heard a muffled gunshot and looked at my old friend. His name wasnt F49 1506, it was Sheimagya. But the Humans didn't care about that. I ran to him and yelled "Sheimagya! Nei!" But John pulled me away. "Sh sh. Go back now Daiyama." He whispered.

I looked at the nicest Human I had ever met as the other Human sean walked away. John waved at me, and I looked at him through tears. I tried to wave back, but I couldn't. I ran back to Sheimagya and his eyes fluttered for a moment. In our language he told me "They always forget our hearts are on the other side." He told me with a weak grin.

SO WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?! I hope this isn't stealing... I will ask the Real John on his profile if it is alright that I use his idea. Yeah so I just typed this up out of nowhere. No editing, no nothing. This is PURE Storyline. What do ya think? I will update whe I type my elemental ninja story later next week. Please be honest. (but not mean) :D

 

Posted May 27, '10 at 10:15pm

MoonFairy

MoonFairy

3,216 posts

OH translation for the Language my bad, I forgot to add it.

"Zhe shekai sei?"

You have name?

"Nei! Nei! Shoni baiya!"

No, no please don't.

"Zhe Uaimaiga!"

You (wordy dird)

"Rhe shika bai nei sie."

He has no name

"Zhe shekai di John?"

(supposed to be Uhe) Your name is John?

"Hai. Zhe shekai di..?"

Yes. (supposed to be Uhe my bad) Your name is..?

"Yaloe."

Hello.

The words are pronounced kind of how they sound.

Zhe- 'Zeh'
shekai- Tseh_kuh_I
sei- Tsee
nei- Neye
and you can make it up from there :)

 

Posted May 28, '10 at 4:34pm

MoonFairy

MoonFairy

3,216 posts

CMON PEOPLE?! NO ONE IS GONNA READ IT?!?!?! REALLY?!

 

Posted May 28, '10 at 5:15pm

thepossum

thepossum

2,289 posts

I read it. And I think it's a really good start to the story. I suspect that this 'John' character will become very important in the main character's life. And I wonder what this 'last test' is. I haven't played Exit Path BTW, so don't make me feel stupid by saying stuff you think I should know from playing it, 'cause I haven't.

 

Posted May 28, '10 at 8:13pm

MoonFairy

MoonFairy

3,216 posts

Aha! Yes! ONE person has read it! and y ou should play it. it is amazing. :DDDD I wouldn't write a sotry about nothing I didn't like XP

 

Posted May 29, '10 at 12:43am

Holden012

Holden012

1,964 posts

Really good . I hope to see more stories like this. :)

 

Posted May 29, '10 at 12:44pm

Kyouzou

Kyouzou

4,753 posts

Hey, I read and I could've sworn I posted a review...

I liked it, quite entertaining.... I was wondering how long it would take for someone to come up with a story based on it.

 

Posted May 29, '10 at 9:11pm

MoonFairy

MoonFairy

3,216 posts

Well, I would update it, but now I don't know how to top it off. T_T
I got the last sentence from Ninja Assasin. That movie was beast. :D anyways, I might do an update if my mom doesn't make me go to bed soon.

And for my Ninja thing, I started typing it on my house computer, and forgot to save it on a flash drive, so it will have to wait for a week or two.

 

Posted May 29, '10 at 9:23pm

1337Player

1337Player

1,773 posts

This is good, yet you haven't finish what happened when he entered the "Stadium" thing.
And is that language Japanese? Korean? It sounds Asian.

 

Posted May 29, '10 at 9:27pm

MoonFairy

MoonFairy

3,216 posts

Haha nah I just made it up in my head. What I imagined.
Think of Avatar mixed with futurisic age. XD

 
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