Forums → The Tavern → Right and wrong, observations.
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This thread is for discussions about observations you have made.
For example: Today at work a woman dropped 6 coins out of her purse. I was standing within two metres and she was a stranger to me. My question is: Am I eligible to help her? I am unsure. Perhaps if I did help her pick them up she would assume I was trying to steal. Conversely, she may be expecting a strapping young man to sacrifice his back to help a middle aged woman.
In the end I did help her and she was grateful. Yet I did sense some suspicion...
Your thoughts?
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She didn't know how many coins had fallen out of her purse. There was no way for me to prove that I had not stolen (besides a strip search).
I am often observing odd behaviour and social boundaries. I am told I am very similar to Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David. 'Cept not Jewish.
This is a real thread for the times, where the developed world largely lives in constant hesitancy and uncertainty of the details of our social contracts. These days I will usually go to help somebody, but ask first. This way, if I satisfy the most fiercely defended criteria of informed consent, I can hardly go wrong.
It can be more subtle than one thinks. I once encountered a girl with cerebral palsy, presumably, on the tram. She had a stiff-legged gait, practically no motor control of her arms, and multiple deformities (including micrognathia, which essentially gave her a massive overbite), but most importantly she was mute and presumably intellectually impaired. She saw that I was looking at her and indicated (with a lot of excitement), that she wished to interact further.
This is where I press the pause button.
The young lady appeared to be over eighteen. She was accompanied (supervised) by another young lady, of similar age. It was safe to presume that the latter was the former's carer and perhaps legal guardian. Therefore most properly, interaction I had with the girl with cerebral palsy must be approved by the carer, otherwise (in the unlikely event) should a complaint arise, I would have trouble defending myself.
Of course, when most people see somebody like the young lady I just described in public, they tend to walk the other direction, thus this issue is rare.
Well thought out. Unfortunately in my circumstance and similar circumstances there is very little time to react. I myself only had a few seconds before the poor woman would have picked them all up herself. Also, I was unseen to her until I started helping.
In your situation there was a clear and reasonable person with whom you could gage your actions on (ie. the carer) whereas I was alone. (side note: I am/was not trying to be altruistic or even pretending to be, I just saw a woman who needed help. Even when saying that it looks like I am requesting praise. Oh well, my next observation will show how devilish I am).
I admire your ethical principles but if I were to obtain a written consent form, de-brief her afterwards etc there would have been no point to me helping. It was a spur of the moment thing. Perhaps I shouldn't help unless there is time for a reasoned discussion on proper procedure.
This is a real thread for the times, where the developed world largely lives in constant hesitancy and uncertainty of the details of our social contracts.
Why thank you. I thought it was a good idea too.
In the end I did help her and she was grateful. Yet I did sense some suspicion...
Yes because in this time If someone does something without asking for anything in return, thanks to the current media, we don't think we can trust them. If you do something for someone without asking for anything in return even as little as this you should feel good with yourself because it's a rare thing to see.
You know what really pisses me off? People who make "the pedophile glare" at other people who show any kind of interest in a child, as if they're some kind of righteous police guarding the safety of the future by making the world a more suspicious, miserable place.
Here is a good one.
My friend invited a girl over to my house so they could hang out, so she walked 3K's across town to reach my house. Some time had passed and we were all falling alseep and she wanted to go home, so my friend says walk home by yourself. I had a decsion to make its 3AM who knows what people are roaming the streets and this girl has to walk 3K's by herself. I had no obligation to do anything but lucky my conscience was there so i walk her home and back.
I admire your ethical principles but if I were to obtain a written consent form, de-brief her afterwards etc there would have been no point to me helping.
Fortunately I wouldn't be so silly as to suggest this is what should be done. The point I was actually making is that I was confident to do what I did only because I knew what my options were, not to mention that this in itself required a fair degree of background knowledge. Most people don't have formal ethical principles or codes of conduct. Most people have been conditioned to back off in similar situations because of the uncertainty.
In your case, I would have simply slipped in a "Let me help you" as I approached. But of course it would hardly have mattered at all, seeing as it was unlikely you would have, say, been accused of being a thief and had a million people tackle you to the ground. In fact, even if you had been, I don't think anybody would have cared :P
My friend invited a girl over to my house so they could hang out, so she walked 3K's across town to reach my house. Some time had passed and we were all falling alseep and she wanted to go home, so my friend says walk home by yourself. I had a decsion to make its 3AM who knows what people are roaming the streets and this girl has to walk 3K's by herself. I had no obligation to do anything but lucky my conscience was there so i walk her home and back.
This is not a thread to tell others of the good deeds you have done. It is about observations of society and people.
In your case, I would have simply slipped in a "Let me help you"
That would have been acceptable. Damn my slow wit.
the pedophile glare
The welfare of children has become a massive issue as of late.
There is another question in that. When is old enough to start giving cliched nicknames to children. For example: sweety. At my last job we dealt with children a lot but I never felt it was acceptable for me to say this. A co-worker who was 21 said it constantly.
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