ForumsArt, Music, and WritingThe Words and Workings of Wolf

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wolf1991
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wolf1991
3,440 posts
Farmer

Here is a thread dedicated to my work as a writer. This thread will mostly be filled with my poems which vary in theme but I try to fashion myself after my favourite poet T.S Eliot, who I believed captured human nature in his words. I aspire to do the same. Please feel free wo citique and review my work. However, simply saying "I like it" is not good enough, as a writer I must grow and develop so I beg you readers to give me a reason as to why or why not you liked the poem. To start off I shall provide you with one of my personal favourties.

These Are The Boring Bits

Call life what you will,
A joke,
A curse,
A gift,
An adventure.
Take from it what you will,
Joy,
Sorrow,
Love,
Hate.
Lose yourself in it
Find your purpose
Or,
Find nothing at all.

A man asked, "What is the meaning of life?"
A woman told him, "Whatever you make it to be."
A child asked, "Is god real?"
A parent told them, "Only you can decide."

Personal opinion is what we use to guide us,
The opinions of others are what lose us.
We can never be certain
That we are certain of anything
Because of change,
And because things stay the same.
What makes sense one day,
Will confuse us another,
And so it goes on.
People tell others to:
Get in line,
Grow up,
Get our lives straight,
Who told these people these things?
And why tell us the things that broke them?

Is it human nature to be unhappy?

Two men sit on a bench,
In a park,
Under a tree.
They talk about family and friends
They talk about work and dreams.
One man says, "It is a waste of time to dream,"
The other says, "Yes, but to have dreams is not."
Dreams are what the world is made of
Bad dreams,
Good dreams,
Lost dreams.

Hope is never far off,
As the old die,
The young are born,
The young grow,
They become old,
The old die.
But while they are young,
They change the world.
Some for the better,
Others for the worse.

Inspiration is a dream.

The only inspiration in life is life:
What to do?
How to do it?
Can we change the world?
How to change the world?
Is there purpose?
Are we real?
Or a figment of imagination?
All questions do not need answers.

Call life what you will,
These are the boring bits.

  • 634 Replies
Faunbard
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Faunbard
650 posts
Nomad

i find your first work rythmic and well written.
However, having it be short can also lead to weakness. i wanted that poam longer.

wolf1991
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wolf1991
3,440 posts
Farmer

However, having it be short can also lead to weakness. i wanted that poam longer.


These Are The Boring Bits? That poem is two pages in length. It is only short because of the line length, however what weakness are you refering to?
MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

May or may not care? Really? Of course I care, but does no one even bother to see the fact that I am quitting AG? I mean it is RIGHT on my profile. Thanks to the Two people that actually saw it and bothered to comment. Nurv and Efan. Thanks a million to them.

Hope you have success with your story. That is all I can really say.

wolf1991
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wolf1991
3,440 posts
Farmer

Existence in Denial: Forever Introduction There's a Plot

You could say that life has been one big adventure for me, but you'd be wrong. You would think that by the age of twenty one I'd have some kind of goal, a plan of action, a set focus. Nothing. According to society I'm a loser. That doesn't phase me though, not when everyone I know is on the SS Lame with me. Me, Jay Rockwell. My life isn't glamorous, and it sure as hell isn't perfect. I'm a college drop out with a mediocre writing talent. My friends and I get by day to day from working dead end jobs are the local video store, while some how not shooting ourselves out of pure boredom with the existence we call life. You can tell us how wonderful life is, and how lucky we are to be alive, but until something better comes along, until we're no longer standing still, our existence is in denial.

IcyIndia
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IcyIndia
1,344 posts
Nomad

phase

faze

Ok, I think this is really good. It's contemporary, which is nice. I get tired of hearing about magic and kingdoms after a while. It's also relieving not to hear about a fairy tale where the main character has everything in life.

The beginning and the ending are both very good. They aren't too abrupt and introduce and conclude the paragraph very well.

It's a very good concept. However, there are a few technical errors, like grammar, spelling, and punctuation, but they don't matter too much.
wolf1991
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wolf1991
3,440 posts
Farmer

It's a very good concept. However, there are a few technical errors, like grammar, spelling, and punctuation, but they don't matter too much.


The problem is sometimes you don;t notice until it's posted even after going through it a few times. I really hope AG3 has an edit post feature.

Like I said these will be short, no more than a few paragraphs. This is something of an experiment on my part. While each story is going to be really short they're all connected in an over all plot.
IcyIndia
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IcyIndia
1,344 posts
Nomad

The problem is sometimes you don;t notice until it's posted even after going through it a few times. I really hope AG3 has an edit post feature.


Another problem is that the text box is so small. If it was bigger it'd be easier.

I'll be waiting for the next one..
wolf1991
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wolf1991
3,440 posts
Farmer

Existence In Denial: Pass the Cornflakes

As I stumble out of my bedroom on this lovely Monday morning, the only day I have off this week, I can already smell the delightful stench of my roommate, Dan, burning toast. How do I know it's Ed and not my other roommate John? Easy, Dan is the only human being capable of burning toast no matter how many times he tries to make it. He is also the only human being who craves toast despite being a complete failure when it comes to using a toaster. So, here I am, stumbling into another Dantastrophe.

"Dan do you think you could go one dam day without setting the bloody kitchen on fire?"

"Hey, I only burnt it a little this time!"

Dan holds up a charred piece of toast that looks like it took a dip in an incinerator. His long bookish face framed by loose black hair which is usually kept in a pony tail is almost begging to be punched.

"Dan, why couldn't you have had cereal? For Christ's sakes Dan why must you insist on having toast every morning, and having the fire department alerted at least once a week?"

"Hey, what can I say? I really like toast."

And he proceeds to bite into the ash puck that is his toast, while I proceed to gag and turn on our stove fan before...and there goes the fire alarm. Usually I'd go make sure to clear the air around it so it would shut off, but I think making Dan do it seems a more satisfying reward for this morning's headache. Besides, I want my breakfast of cornflakes. As I open up the cupboard I notice my cornflakes are missing from their normal spot, a little searching, and yep, it's confirmed, we are out of cornflakes.

"Dan where are the cornflakes? We had half a box yesterday."

"You might want to ask John."

"Knowing John I'd rather not. Well I guess I'll walk down to Foods N'Stuff to get some. You want anything?"

"Yeah...we're out of bread again."

"Goddammit!"

Efan
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Efan
3,086 posts
Nomad

hahaha. Well that is funny

wolf1991
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wolf1991
3,440 posts
Farmer

Anyone else got some form of comment?

Efan
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Efan
3,086 posts
Nomad

I would have thought that other people would be commenting on this :/
Which is why I made such a pointless one. Whether this is a based on your life or not, I found it very entertaining

wolf1991
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wolf1991
3,440 posts
Farmer

Yes and no. I've loosely used my sarcastic nature as a base for my main character (the narator), but he's much more A-hole-ish than I am. Also much more condesending and sarcastic. The events and other characters are completely fictional, though I admit my current existence is in denial XD

wolf1991
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wolf1991
3,440 posts
Farmer

Existence in Denial: Gone Shopping

If there's one thing I hate more than having to shop, it's shopping on an empty stomach. Now, normally I'd grab something else to eat, however, I'm almost piss poor until pay day and I only have enough money for a loaf of bread. That's right, I am so broke I cannot buy my cornflakes. Of course, Dan doesn't have any money because he had to pay his late fees at Video Palace last night. How you manage to attain late fees when you work there is beyond me. So, here I am with a loaf of bread and nothing else. So I suppose I'm going to head back to the appartment and walk in on John and Dan. John half naked and accusing Dan of being a homo, or telling Dan about some amazing chick he met. And Dan, eagerly awaiting the next pieve of bread to incinerate. Somedays life isn't worth waking up to.

FallenSky
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FallenSky
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Peasant

it's shopping on an empty stomach

Shopping on an empty wallet is worse.

That's quite an awkward piece up there; such lamentation from being fed monotonous trivalities. It does wake up my urge to spit at life's face only for being the way it is, which is; the cruel giver of a sole and unique chance.

wolf1991
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wolf1991
3,440 posts
Farmer

hehe I like this experiment. Have you read the whole series so far? There's 3

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