So Long and Farewell
Dear Readers,
I believe it is time for me to put this thread behind me. Indeed, I believe it is time I leave the Armor Games community. I intend to make this my final post, and thus, my final work on this site. And, in doing so, I wish to impart to you and understanding of who I am, as a person. And I hope, at least one of you many unknown readers takes some understanding in what I hope to achieve.
You have, no doubt, seen in my writing a kind of desperation, a grief born of loss and all the tragedy I see within the world. And, hopefully, you have seen the small gems of hope I have hidden in many of these dark and twisted words.
Mine is a soul scarred by self doubt and hatred. I've known too many betrayals at the hands of friends to sit comfortably with the idea of trust, but such is my nature, that I am not one prone to the hatred of those who wronged me. Contradictions, I find, define me. I will forgive everyone, except myself, because I have spent far too long bearing the brunt of responsibility for what others have done. That, is not to say I bear no responsibiltiy. There are many mistakes that I have made, but everyone makes mistakes. We are, afterall, human.
So, within me resides a kindness, a compassion, in stark contrast to my open cynical views. A compassion for everyone but myself. Yet, it is strange how we can come to terms with the ailling of a soul. So very strange. I have, in part, come to terms with myself. I cannot say I have fully forgiven myself, but I believe I have found a bit more peace than what I once had.
So, dearest readers, so long and farewell. I will leave you with a simple poem, but perhaps, like so much in this world, appearances deceive.
Stand with me upon this shoreline.
Look not at the ruins which frame us behind.
There is nothing of value there;
Nothing of vaulue, naught but ghosts.
Stand with me upon this shoreline.
Let us watch the sun dip over horizon's edge.
Brief moments until the stars peak out;
Shyly, oh so very shyly.
Stand with me upon this shoreline.
Let us find a treasure in these restless waves.
A glimmer of truth and a nugget of hope.
Under the watchful moon; caring gaze of a mother.
Stand alone upon this shoreline. Stand here.
Watch me walk into this ocean, to find my soul.
Do not weep, no, do not weep for me.
I go to find a life I have never known.
Dear friend,
My dearest friend.
So long, and fare you well.