Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → The Words and Workings of Wolf

Interesting. It draws the reader in and paints a vivid picture. Maybe if you added something that describes the smell, thus pulling together what all good writing should do, The Five Senses

The Words Never Spoken
(Also titled: Letters to No One)

I am the crafter of a thousand thousand words.
They drip as blood, running away with life.
And, the are not endless, no is my crimson giver.

Stare long and hard at me, and see past what I show.
Look for the scars I had in my soul.
For all my walls and words that cut like steel.

And have I not fashioned a remarkable array?
The words to wound any who would touch my scars,
That I cherrish with unseemly abandon.

But, I would have you see past that too. That
Exterior is nothing but a mummers guise to deceive.
Look further, who ever you may be, and seek...more.

At my core you will find the remaints of my heart
Lying shattered like so many other things in this world.
You will also find a boy. The scared child who never grew.

He will be picking up my heart piece by piece. Gently.
He will try to sew it all together with twine and love.
But he knows nothing of it's puzzle. Nor how to fit the pieces.

This too is a boy of words. A child who delights in friendship.
One of hopes and dreams that never came true and, never will.
He sees a heart in pieces. And he tries to help. See him.

My words, for all their bluster, and fancy intellectualities
Pale and wither to dust admist the winds of emotion.
All the words I could and want to say, melt to nothing.

Disarmed, and defenseless, I am assailed at my core.
The frail pieces of my heart shatter, against rejection.
Against the cruel rocks of your cold demeanor.

The child cries. Begs. Pleads. But, he is unheeded.
Another victim, another innocent lost. His words,
And the man he became...forgotten.

I'll sit here a while longer. Dreaming my dreams.
Sewing my heart together with twine and words.
I have my letters to write. To myself, and no one.

Please comment. I don't care what, just let me know you read this latest poem.

Holy crap.
This was the most emotion I have seen you write, concentrated like this. Gives an EXTREME feeling of despair, and... pressure.

Look for the scars I had in my soul

Here, why not use hide instead of had?

Did you mean to change that from love to words?

Yes it was intentending to show a change in character.

Things I'll Never Be

When I was a boy
I dreamed a thousand dreams
Wondering what I would be.

As I grew older
Those dreams faded or broke.
One after another.

Even now, today,
I hold to some remote dreams.
Wishing they were reality.

The Lie of Friendship

You call me your friend.
I am there when you need me,
But I wonder where you are
As I scream silently
Feeling the pressure
Slowly killing what's left of me.

You call me your friend.
But, when my dark hours draw
Near, you flee with false words.
You speak of comfort
Only to comfort yourself.
My sould sickens with each lie.

You call me your friend.
Where will you be when I leave?
What happens when I do not come through?
Just like you did to me.
So many times before.
So many times.

Do not call me your friend!
You are liars of the worst kind.
Traitors and deceivers.
You use my kindness to bind me
To choke me in my own love.
How dare you!?

Answer me!
All of you who would listen!
Answer me!
How do you call me friend?!
When you abandon me to madness,
When you leave me to weep.

How can you call me friend?
When you know so little about me.
How can you call me friend?
When you leave me to die.
How can you call me friend?
When I have become a stranger.

Do not call me your friend.
Do not call me anything.
I am done. I am done!
You have betrayed me for the last
Time. I will be my own friend.
And I will weep. For all my pain.

You call me your friend.
I wish I could believe you.
You call me your friend.
And I called you my friend.
But, I ask, "Where were you?"
When I needed you most?

Secret Moments

There are moments when I despair of my nature.
Cursing myself for a fool with a bleeding heart.
But, there are times when I see why I am the way I am.
These silent moments where a gesture of kindness,
A word of comfort, and should on which to lean;
All come together in a perfect synphony of peace.
Upon the notes float my joy. Within these secret momments
I find a reason to live, a purpose to hold to.
Let it be known, that for every hardship I endure,
These moments shall triumph. They shall triumph.

I forgot if I told you this already, but I really like those last two poems.
There's so much passion in each line, and I like the contrast; how the first is so sad and sorrowful and how the second is hopeful. I can really relate to both of them too, so that makes it doubly awesomesauce.

Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!1!11!!!!!

I Once Was a Child

I was a child, once long ago.
I slept in the summer,
And woke for the snow.

My parents told me wonderous thing.
I dreamt a child's dream
And the hope that it brings.

As I grew older, my dreams went away.
I wept for the nightly
I wanted them to stay.

I had dreamt of house with a blue door.
A place where I belonged
The only thing I wanted more,

Was a place where I did feel strong,
A place where I could say:
"This is where I belong."

But I slept in the summer, how could I know,
That the dreams of a child
Whither and die in the snow.

Holy hell that's beautiful.
The only real iffy I have with it, is that in the fourth stanza the meter goes off a little bit. Oh and the second stanza, a wonderous thing, or wonderous things?
Even with this minor errors, this is still breath taking.
KUDOS CAUSE IT RHYMES!!!!!

Day 365

One year ago I said three words.
They were the hardest words to say,
Because I was at once over joyed and afraid.
That look in your eyes, I never shall forget.

Within a year, so much has changed.
Where there was once joy
Now there is nothing but pain.
You too said those words, to gladden my heart.

One year ago, I said, "I love you."
One year ago you said, "I love you."
One year later you say, "I forgot you."
One year later I say, "I love you."

Maiden Fair

Oh haunting wind
Of unsung fury.
Lead me to my love
Who waits upon me.
Standing on lonely shore
Fair maiden is she;
I dream a dream
Of peace and hope
That I may see her
Weep. such tears of joy
And taste he sweet kiss.
As soft flesh, closes
Against loving embrace.
Oh haunting wind
of unsung fury.
Bring me to the shore.
So I may hold he again
My lovely maiden fair.

You seem to be missing your r's in her.

One year ago, Its rather... well. From a poets standpoint, the first stanza was the best. Not just because I'm the biggest fan of rhyme this sight has, but because it flowed the best.
Jeol was right when he said to gladden my heart added a slight awkward fishie.
The third stanza, I understand but you should of changed some words up, reverse it to make it seem not so dialouge-y.

The maiden one was quite nice but it lacks something that I can't put my finger on...