Well, if you know me, then you know that this would be my third thread for my writings. If you don't know me, as in your a new(er) user, than this is my third thread for my writings. This is a fairly akward situation, so I feel the need to explain:
I am making this final thread (and yes, final), because I realised something during my Hiatus. When I 'quit' AG, I was fairly discusted with my works. I absolutely loathed them. And after a while, I realized something: that it didn't matter. Who cares what I thought about them. What matters is what OTHERs think about them. I wouldn't be able to grow as a writer if my angst over my own works led people to assume that they WERE bad.
While some of them genuinely reeked, there were others that were genuinely good. And as I looked back over my first writings, I realized another thing too: that I had gotten better. That my works had gone from a slipshod, unbalanced affair to a generarrly more organized shipshod affair.
So I am not making this thread to be unique in having *3* threads about my work, or for vanity, or anything like that. I am making it so that you, the reader, will look at my works, and will hopefully tell me how to get better.
It was a glorious midsummers day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the air seemed to give off a certain vibe that made one feel so alive. The sky was a bright blue, blemished only with the stark contrast of the white, fluffy clouds that left gaps in the sky, as if a painter had left his work unfinished. The leaves in the trees were of the brightest green, and the petals on the flowers shows only the freshest pastels.
I was walking among the trees, out for a short stroll. Admiring all the world around me, and simply enjoying life. As I was taken back by the beauty of all that lay before me, I failed to notice the silence that had fallen upon the wood.
Suddenly, there was a sound of thunder! It reverberated among the trees, and caused the birds to take to the air in droves. Frightened, I turn and began to flee back to whence I came. Then, the thing that had given off the roar lept up and took me from behind. I was thrown to the ground, mortally wounded by my foe.
As darkness closed in, and as I took my final breaths, a two-legged beast came near. He knelt down, and cradled my head in its arms. There was a flash of light, and then I knew no more.
O>O ^ That is good, but scary. Which means kudos to you!
Its not supposed to be scary... Its a joke; I'm writing about Berserk Wildlife, but from the perception of wildlife. In this case, a Deer, and the 'Berserk Wildlife' is the Hunter.
Sau-Long; Your Claws Tear Living Rock from the Tops of Mist-Shrouded Summits.
Not my best, put it paints a rather nice mental image. Sau-Long is Catonese for 'Vengeful Dragon', for those of you who were curious as to its origins.
With sadness, I remember. The instruments they held Prooved greater than the sword, And brought light to the waste.
I remember.
They who lie hidden. Sheltered in the muck of Our world. Uncut diamonds In the ruff; Forgotten.
I remember.
Those who once walked our halls. They who inspired, and were admired. Those countless, creative minds. Those who were, and are, my friends.
I remember:
He, who in sadness and despair, Continually touched my soul And spurred me on to never Settle for less, but to reach Upwards, with 'Excelsior!' ever On my lips.
I remember:
He who still dwells among us. A shadow of what he was, But still great in his own right. He who guided my hands, Like a potter on a wheel, Shaping, and making for the better.
I remember:
The Maiden across the water. Kind words spewing forth Like so many waterfalls. Who in my doubt and malignancy Picked me up and kindness spread. Renewing me from my flames.
I remember:
Those countless hordes, From places I cannot name. Who only came, leaving Minute traces of their visits. But traces they were, placing me Where I am today.
I remember!
With these recollections Flowing through me; Quik-Silver in my veins. I am inspired again.
I remember!
Ever Higher! I will go. Never, will I cease. Never, will I abait. Never, will I yield.
For it is only their reward. Fitting, for their service to us all.
Close your eyes; only for a moment, then the moments gone. Why go on? When nothing last forever in an endless dawn. Say Farewell. Life goes on in front of me, then beats me down. Why can't I... Face my fears inside of me; remove them all?
I sit and weep! Like Sisyphus I never reach the leeward side. Won't you go? Off on mad adventure while I fester here. Now I lie trapped! Without a friend around to hear my desperate cries! Don't march on; Life's a road that ever winds beyond our sight.
Won't hold on! Curriculum Vitae, thats just the way it goes. Death stands watch; Always eye your shadow, 'case its never there. Just listen please! Let this be a warning to your wayward soul. Close my eyes; Sucumbe to all that haunts me in eternity...
I really like Here we go. Sounds like something I would sing.
The last one on page 4 was very nice. It gave me that feeling of war...But not war.... Hmm.
This last one though.... It seemed bipolar. It changed in its.... purpose. But then it went back to it. If you take out the second stanza it seems to fit better, but I liked the second stanza on its own.
I really like Here we go. Sounds like something I would sing.
Really? A lot of people have seemed to like that one, but I think its one of the worse ones on here. Funny how life works.
The last one on page 4 was very nice.
It gave me that feeling of war...But not of war....
I wasn't really going for a war-theme. I was writing about thouse on Armor Games who helped me when I first started writing, but no one sees anymore, or I can't name them. So 'Tales of the Fallen' was a great theme, kudos to Wolf.
This last one though.... It seemed bipolar. It changed in its.... purpose. But then it went back to it. If you take out the second stanza it seems to fit better, but I liked the second stanza on its own.
Gah, that was what I was trying to do. Its about life, and how it seems bad now, but then gets better, but you realize that its really just as bad as before. Kinda like the futility of going on.
I really should start back up explaining my poems again. :/
