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Lamentations

Posted Jul 11, '11 at 8:21am

Jefferysinspiration

Jefferysinspiration

3,138 posts

Sometimes you give me goosebumps kiddo.
I'd like to declare myself as your biggest fan.

Your poem is beautiful, i like how you convey your feelings throughout, how you tell a story yet leave the reader begging for more. As you stated it's straight forward but the reader still wonders - Such as "What fate?"

Quite an enjoyable read.

 

Posted Jul 11, '11 at 8:27am

Maverick4

Maverick4

3,707 posts

But I'm already my biggest fan.

Thanks. :D

 

Posted Jul 11, '11 at 8:52pm

Maverick4

Maverick4

3,707 posts

Reflections IV

Where do I go,
When I'm alone?
Strip off this hate,
From twix my bones.

Twisted inside,
From behind my eyes.
Against the flow,
That I despise.

-Here We Go

'Here We Go' is unique in several aspects. As a peice, its the first lyrics I'd ever written. At four syllabuls a line, I still feel its a rather clumsy thing, much like a newborne taking its first steps. But it is special in one aspect. It was the first peice I had ever written, ever, that I felt was truly personal. Previously, my poems only described a setting (Haiku), or told a short story (The Goodship, Woadship). This was the first peice of art I had ever created that I truly wrote from within.

Twisted inside,
From behind my eyes.

You could say that this poem was really my first Reflection. I wrote how I felt, and it came naturally to me. At the time, I wasn't very thrilled with the person I was, and I was determined to correct that. While I'd like to say I've been 'cured', I still feel myself slipping into the same old routines, the same patterns, the same habbits.

When I said I was frightened by what I saw in my mirror, I truly meant it. I am horrified by what I've become. I'm mortified that my facade should slip. And I'm ashamed at what I've let myself become. Life is a disease; We think we have it conquered, but then a fresh new range of symptoms crops up. And eventually, we all subcumb.

-More to come.

 

Posted Jul 11, '11 at 8:58pm

Jefferysinspiration

Jefferysinspiration

3,138 posts

Life is a disease

Enough said.
Getting steadily deeper, creating anticipation - i like it.

 

Posted Jul 12, '11 at 10:15pm

Maverick4

Maverick4

3,707 posts

Lifetime Serenity

How proud I march! On down the rows.
Brisling with buttons,
As the crowd cheers me homeward.

Simple facades; what could go wrong?
Look in my mirror
But I don't know who I am.

The gilded halls, and marble floors.
Reflect my pashion,
But they always feel so cold.

No one to blame except myself.
May be its too late,
And everything is all lost.

Oh cur'sed road! That I went down.
As blind as I was,
How eagerly I went there.

Now here I am; Its all in vain.
Serrepticiousness,
I can't let anyone know.

That fatal blow, that final strike.
The void consumes me,
And I collapse to the ground.

Now here I lie, inside my tomb.
I chose my own fate;
I got just what I deserve

 

Posted Jul 13, '11 at 4:00pm

Maverick4

Maverick4

3,707 posts

Reflections V

What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?

-Matthew 16:26

Success. Everyone wants it, and everyone tries for it at some point in their life. Whether we want that new car, a bigger house, or the latest video game, success has its way of showing us off to the rest of the world. Our success, or lack of it, is like some rebirthed primal trophy head. Its great to look at, but not to touch.

Success is one of the four horses that pulls my chariot. I always strive to be successful. Like anybody, I've had times where I've succeded and times when I have not. My problem is not whether I succede or not, but what happens after.

I always feel guilty after I win. I tell myself, 'You worked hard! You should be happy! Proud!'. But I always find myself guessing, doubting myself. Why did I win? Why did they lose? What did I do to deserve this? Sure, I worked hard, buy why? What drives me to this?

And I doubt myself further. 'I will work harder' is always first to my lips, but then I question it. If I worked hard this time, and lost, why should next time be any different?

The smallest cracks can bring down the largest dam, if theres enough of them. And I've got a full resovoir.

 

Posted Jul 18, '11 at 9:43pm

Maverick4

Maverick4

3,707 posts

Reflections IV

I live in an eternal winter. A normally lush valley lies dormant, covered in snow. A river, once flowing, is frozen solid. With every passing day, I always attempt to cross that river. Somedays, I make it pretty far. Other times, not so much. Never do I make it across; I always slip.

It seems that no amount of determination or will power can keep my from straying; I always return to the well-beaten path. I always end up entering by the wide gate.

The luggage of this world is weighing me down, I so long to cast it away.

 

Posted Jul 20, '11 at 9:17am

calemango

calemango

79 posts

Gosh, your really good at this and you have a passion for it which helps you to create better masterpieces and exceed peoples' expectations faster. You also put a lot of feeling to it and that increases my liking in your work. :)

 

Posted Jul 20, '11 at 9:39pm

Maverick4

Maverick4

3,707 posts

Thanks! Its always good to hear from my readers. :)

I've found that my better works are based on how I feel/have felt, so I figured I should keep doing that. My poetry is ussualy based (now atleast) on my past experiences or metaphores for whats going on in my life. Reflections is literally based on what I feel at the time, and is more like a self-psychotherapy session.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you continue checking in. :)

 

Posted Jul 24, '11 at 9:02pm

Maverick4

Maverick4

3,707 posts

Rising up to face me on my path,
Blatant opposition to me.
How can I ever climb you?
How can I ever win?
Who can be my stregnth
To help me through?
Acceptance;
I fall,
Dead.
__________
Wrote this for the Nonet Contest, and the theme was 'Mountains'.

I took it at a metaphorical sense, rather than a literal one, as I always seem to do. The Mountains are the difficulties we face in life, and how too often we fail when we say we'll succede.

 
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