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Lamentations

Posted Sep 9, '11 at 7:36pm

Roger721

Roger721

614 posts

Once again, I talked to that portuguese teacher: once again, she loved it! No critiques nor corrections. She told me (IN HER OWN WORDS!) this:

(she took time to read it at home, so she talked to me a few days after)

- Hey, you gave me that, right?
- Yes.- I said.
- I've read this at home and I liked very much! The one who wrote this is very talented!

^ Notice that I put your username on the sheet, once again.

 

Posted Sep 10, '11 at 10:22pm

Maverick4

Maverick4

3,707 posts

Thats awesome. Which one did you give her?

Reflections IX

I feel as if I live in a shell.

The words that used to come quite freely from my mind have now ceased to be. Things I used to draw insipration from, music, poets, authors, nature, life, have ceased to yield anything fruitful. Any attempt to write just leaves with a few lines, and despair. Nothing seems to work; nothing seems to flow; nothing seems to be alive

Worse still, the few times I manage to get lines to aggree with each other, they just seemed forced, dead. Like cinder blocks hap-hazardly thrown together. Even as I write this, the unfamiliarity seems all too familiar. Should I retire? Or pray that my friend decides to return?

I feel like a chocolate easter bunny; Promising on the outside, hollow in the middle.

 

Posted Sep 11, '11 at 6:37pm

Roger721

Roger721

614 posts

I showed her 3 writings:

The Artist; Deep and, somehow, fits the story of many writers.
Rain Haiku; Deep, VERY deep, even in it's translated self.
A text that starts with "I want to live life and never grow old"; Nice, old fashioned, poetry.

Anyway, your "Reflections" series of writings are your deep thoughts in words form?

Should I retire? Or pray that my friend decides to return?

Don't you give up! Go for a walk in the park, take a rest, do something! The inspiration will reach you! You're a great writer!

 

Posted Sep 11, '11 at 9:37pm

Maverick4

Maverick4

3,707 posts

I don't know where I am running to.
Still, I have to forge my own, new way.
You hated me when I was breathing,
Now you love me when I lie dieing.

 

Posted Sep 12, '11 at 4:17pm

Roger721

Roger721

614 posts

^ Wonderful writing there... I'll show to that portuguese teacher! (ie: a teacher who teaches portuguese language)

 

Posted Sep 15, '11 at 8:37pm

Maverick4

Maverick4

3,707 posts

The Artist; Deep and, somehow, fits the story of many writers.
Rain Haiku; Deep, VERY deep, even in it's translated self.
A text that starts with "I want to live life and never grow old"; Nice, old fashioned, poetry.

Thanks. Translated into portugese, I would presume?

Anyway, your "Reflections" series of writings are your deep thoughts in words form?

Correct.

The inspiration will reach you!

Said I a month ago.

I'm getting the name changed, to something that I find ironically humourous. 'A Marble Fawn' will be the new name. A 'fawn' is a young deer, and a rather agile one at that. Yet its made of marble, and cannot move.

 

Posted Sep 21, '11 at 9:36pm

Maverick4

Maverick4

3,707 posts

Depression slowly steals the part,
And wraps its fingers 'round my heart.

 

Posted Sep 26, '11 at 9:25pm

Maverick4

Maverick4

3,707 posts

Depression slowly steals the part,
And wraps its fingers 'round my heart.
And at the bath where birds did play,
Silence reigns for another day.

The wind does not dare blow this time;
But lurks behind a veil, sublime.
Where larks did sing, and doves did fly:
Now the birds do not care to try.

Here, flowers used to poke their head.
But buried here now lie the dead.
And at the tree, that wizened tree,
The leaves have died, then broken free.

How fleetly runs the marble fawn,
Gracefully leaping cross the lawn!
But tendrils leap up at my heart,
And quickly crush that beating part.

 

Posted Sep 26, '11 at 10:48pm

haana

haana

4 posts

Your poetry is very descriptive you can see the imagery in your head as you read. Very nice job.

 

Posted Sep 28, '11 at 9:05pm

Maverick4

Maverick4

3,707 posts

Your poetry is very descriptive you can see the imagery in your head as you read. Very nice job.

Thankyou very much. I aim only to please.

 
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