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Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,815 posts
Shepherd

Well, if you know me, then you know that this would be my third thread for my writings. If you don't know me, as in your a new(er) user, than this is my third thread for my writings. This is a fairly akward situation, so I feel the need to explain:

I am making this final thread (and yes, final), because I realised something during my Hiatus. When I 'quit' AG, I was fairly discusted with my works. I absolutely loathed them. And after a while, I realized something: that it didn't matter. Who cares what I thought about them. What matters is what OTHERs think about them. I wouldn't be able to grow as a writer if my angst over my own works led people to assume that they WERE bad.

While some of them genuinely reeked, there were others that were genuinely good. And as I looked back over my first writings, I realized another thing too: that I had gotten better. That my works had gone from a slipshod, unbalanced affair to a generarrly more organized shipshod affair.

So I am not making this thread to be unique in having *3* threads about my work, or for vanity, or anything like that. I am making it so that you, the reader, will look at my works, and will hopefully tell me how to get better.

Sincerely, Mav

  • 278 Replies
Roger721
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Roger721
1,107 posts
Peasant

especially if they have a critique or think something isn't good.


*sighs*

Every single one of them made they amazed.

Gosh, you certainly have a melancholic point of view about this...

Your writing is awesome! Think higher!
frisko12
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frisko12
423 posts
Peasant

wow your good.

RikJimmy00
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RikJimmy00
240 posts
Peasant

great poetry you could win a lot of points at my school -.-

ΠίνδαÏοÏ
Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,815 posts
Shepherd

Gosh, you certainly have a melancholic point of view about this...


With pessimism, you're never surprised: When the worst happens, its expected. When something good happens, then something isn't finished working itself bad.

wow your good.


Thanks.

great poetry you could win a lot of points at my school -.-


Thanks.
Roger721
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Roger721
1,107 posts
Peasant

Once again, I talked to that portuguese teacher: once again, she loved it! No critiques nor corrections. She told me (IN HER OWN WORDS!) this:

(she took time to read it at home, so she talked to me a few days after)

- Hey, you gave me that, right?
- Yes.- I said.
- I've read this at home and I liked very much! The one who wrote this is very talented!

^ Notice that I put your username on the sheet, once again.

Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,815 posts
Shepherd

Thats awesome. Which one did you give her?

Reflections IX

I feel as if I live in a shell.

The words that used to come quite freely from my mind have now ceased to be. Things I used to draw insipration from, music, poets, authors, nature, life, have ceased to yield anything fruitful. Any attempt to write just leaves with a few lines, and despair. Nothing seems to work; nothing seems to flow; nothing seems to be alive

Worse still, the few times I manage to get lines to aggree with each other, they just seemed forced, dead. Like cinder blocks hap-hazardly thrown together. Even as I write this, the unfamiliarity seems all too familiar. Should I retire? Or pray that my friend decides to return?

I feel like a chocolate easter bunny; Promising on the outside, hollow in the middle.

Roger721
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Roger721
1,107 posts
Peasant

I showed her 3 writings:

The Artist; Deep and, somehow, fits the story of many writers.
Rain Haiku; Deep, VERY deep, even in it's translated self.
A text that starts with "I want to live life and never grow old"; Nice, old fashioned, poetry.

Anyway, your "Reflections" series of writings are your deep thoughts in words form?

Should I retire? Or pray that my friend decides to return?


Don't you give up! Go for a walk in the park, take a rest, do something! The inspiration will reach you! You're a great writer!
Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,815 posts
Shepherd

I don't know where I am running to.
Still, I have to forge my own, new way.
You hated me when I was breathing,
Now you love me when I lie dieing.

Roger721
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Roger721
1,107 posts
Peasant

^ Wonderful writing there... I'll show to that portuguese teacher! (ie: a teacher who teaches portuguese language)

Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,815 posts
Shepherd

The Artist; Deep and, somehow, fits the story of many writers.
Rain Haiku; Deep, VERY deep, even in it's translated self.
A text that starts with "I want to live life and never grow old"; Nice, old fashioned, poetry.


Thanks. Translated into portugese, I would presume?

Anyway, your "Reflections" series of writings are your deep thoughts in words form?


Correct.

The inspiration will reach you!


Said I a month ago.

I'm getting the name changed, to something that I find ironically humourous. 'A Marble Fawn' will be the new name. A 'fawn' is a young deer, and a rather agile one at that. Yet its made of marble, and cannot move.
Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,815 posts
Shepherd

Depression slowly steals the part,
And wraps its fingers 'round my heart.

Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,815 posts
Shepherd

Depression slowly steals the part,
And wraps its fingers 'round my heart.
And at the bath where birds did play,
Silence reigns for another day.

The wind does not dare blow this time;
But lurks behind a veil, sublime.
Where larks did sing, and doves did fly:
Now the birds do not care to try.

Here, flowers used to poke their head.
But buried here now lie the dead.
And at the tree, that wizened tree,
The leaves have died, then broken free.

How fleetly runs the marble fawn,
Gracefully leaping cross the lawn!
But tendrils leap up at my heart,
And quickly crush that beating part.

haana
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haana
5 posts
Scribe

Your poetry is very descriptive you can see the imagery in your head as you read. Very nice job.

Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,815 posts
Shepherd

Your poetry is very descriptive you can see the imagery in your head as you read. Very nice job.


Thankyou very much. I aim only to please.
Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,815 posts
Shepherd

I poured my heart out.
You just laughed, and turned away.
Never to be mine.

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