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Lamentations

Posted Dec 31, '11 at 2:04pm

Maverick4

Maverick4

6,891 posts

i like ur poetry. i like it more now with the ryhming!


Thanks man.

Also, thanks to everyone who helped this thread get 15k views.
 

Posted Dec 31, '11 at 2:06pm

Maverick4

Maverick4

6,891 posts

Bliss, Clouds, and Sunshine

I never saw it happening, I never thought it would go down.
Till you came out, and told me all; Destiny.
I should have seen this coming on, given how quickly you joined me.
A quick goodbye, so meaningless; History.

Now I can see you walking out, into the dark and stormy night.
You broke my heart, and crushed my dreams; Tragedy.
Sadness shall reign another day, put all my hopes to frenzied flight.
Where you go now, I could care less; Mystery.

My broken hands reach to the stars, towards flowing time and endless space.
I cast away, and forgot all; Memory.
I can't even remember when, they say I lost my only friend.
I barely live, I lost the will; Hopelessly.
__________
I wrote this for the 10-Day Poetry Contest. The theme was 'Regrets and Resolutions'.

 

Posted Jan 2, '12 at 1:28pm

dragonfang1029

dragonfang1029

15 posts

Im really touched. These poems are really good! I cant believe u didn't get at least a trophy for these! Im more of the gamer but I also like poetry I got 4 of ur poems in my room and get my inspiratiion from them

 

Posted Jan 2, '12 at 5:44pm

Maverick4

Maverick4

6,891 posts

I cant believe u didn't get at least a trophy for these!


Wow man, thanks, you're too kind. I'm not very public with my works, though NaNoWriMo inspired me to go through with my idea to write a book. Once I get done with the outline, perhaps I'll put a bit up here.

I got 4 of ur poems in my room and get my inspiratiion from them


I'm touched bro. I have to ask though, which ones do you have?
 

Posted Jan 5, '12 at 8:13pm

Maverick4

Maverick4

6,891 posts

Be sure to check out Peace and War, a collaboration between Alexis and I.

Cheers.

 

Posted Jan 5, '12 at 8:19pm

daleks

daleks

3,706 posts

Be sure to check out Peace and War, a collaboration between Alexis and I.

Shouldn't it be 'Alexis and me'? You wouldn't say 'written by I'.

But I have checked it out and really like it. Not as big on poetry.
 

Posted Jan 5, '12 at 8:59pm

Maverick4

Maverick4

6,891 posts

Shouldn't it be 'Alexis and me'? You wouldn't say 'written by I'.


No, it is gramatically correct. If you flip it, it would become 'Alexis and I collaborated.' 'Alexis and me collaborated' is gramatically incorrect.

Using a more formal syntax of English, 'Written by I' might be correct in some cases. :P

YOU DON'T LIKE MY POETRY! *Rages*
 

Posted Jan 6, '12 at 8:32pm

MoonFairy

MoonFairy

3,423 posts

YOU DON'T LIKE MY POETRY! *Rages*

Calm down, bro.

Anyways. I'm supposed to do what, again?

The one at the top of this page is.... emotionally evoking. Which I haven't seen from you in a while.

So I give you kudos. I don't really have much else to say about it. I really liked it. The flow was iffy with the semicolon, but I kept on reading and then got it.
 

Posted Jan 6, '12 at 8:37pm

Maverick4

Maverick4

6,891 posts

Which I haven't seen from you in a while


I will work harder.

So I give you kudos. I don't really have much else to say about it. I really liked it. The flow was iffy with the semicolon, but I kept on reading and then got it.


Thanks a bunch.
 

Posted Jan 6, '12 at 8:43pm

MoonFairy

MoonFairy

3,423 posts

I will work harder.

Nononononono don't work harder to make it come out emotional.
The best emotional ones are the ones that just come out, on their own. Working to MAKE it emotional kills emotion, in most cases.
Emotion has its own flow, just let it run its course :P
 
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