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Posted May 3, '11 at 9:10pm
Maverick4
3,355 posts
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The Artist
Hurry! All the colors are starting to fade!
See them bleed and run off my page.
Heres what goes when mistakes get out of hand:
It'll all disappear without change.
I see the crowd as they beckon me on:
They say 'Artist, you need to move on.'
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Posted May 10, '11 at 4:59pm
MoonFairy
2,647 posts
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*coughI'mherecough*
:P
Okay well, my brain is too fuddled to comprehend your HUGE post on page 5, but not fuddled to where I can't say something about The Artist.
I loved it. But.
It has a whole rhythm thing going for it until the fourth line and then using on and on.
But. I still loved it.
*coughI'mgonecough*
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Posted May 12, '11 at 5:08pm
Maverick4
3,355 posts
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Haiku
Eternal I gaze,
As stars and snow blend and fall
On my frost-white tomb.
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Posted May 13, '11 at 11:46am
DustyLee
212 posts
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Posted May 15, '11 at 10:23am
Maverick4
3,355 posts
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its ok stuff.....
I will work harder.
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Posted May 16, '11 at 4:53pm
Quirinus1
144 posts
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Haiku
Eternal I gaze,
As stars and snow blend and fall
On my frost-white tomb.
I like it! I imagine the grave of a viking warrior...
Yet allow me to have some criticism, which is perhaps out of place: in your second line you write
As stars and snow blend and fall
. These are all very short sounds, yet snow falls very gently and slow. Stars are eternal, and therefore very slow too. I think it was better described with much lower and slower sounds.
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Posted May 16, '11 at 5:00pm
1337Player
1,555 posts
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Eternal I gaze,
As stars and snow blend and fall
On my frost-white tomb.
I imagine this scenery being the place where Dumbledore rests. Haikus are short but the reflect so much. Well done.
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Posted May 20, '11 at 8:32am
Maverick4
3,355 posts
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The Artist
(Lyrics)
Hurry! All the colors are starting to fade!
See them bleed and run off my page.
Heres what goes when mistakes get out of hand:
It will all dissapear without change.
I see the crowd as they beckon me on:
They say 'Artist, you need to go home.'
__________
I feel the need to 'duo' this again. See what I did there? Eh? Eh?
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Posted May 21, '11 at 7:46pm
Maverick4
3,355 posts
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Haiku
On top of the world,
Light-headed euphoria.
Crystal are the skies
__________
Wrote for the Haiku contest. The theme was 'Oxygen'. I wrote this while imagining what it'd be like to stand atop of Mt. Everest.
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Posted May 25, '11 at 8:52pm
Maverick4
3,355 posts
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Haiku
The clouds open up,
And let loose their mournful tears.
Earth drinks their sorrow
__________
Wrote this for the General Simplicity Contest. The theme was Rain Haikus.
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