Betrayed

I wake from my sleep
And try hard not to make a peep.

I feel so lost, so confused.
So very tempted to light the fuse.

Betrayed; So lost and confused.
have they forgotten what I have done?

I built their foundation,
I built their pyramid,
Built their forsaken dream!

What do they do for me?
They decide to betray thee.
That's what they did for me!

My favorite is the third stanza!! :D
It's very nice overall, but for some reason it irks me when you use thee. Sorry.

Thank you, but on which poem? Tear or betrayed?
Also, yeah I wasn't so sure about thee either.

On Betrayed.
I love the poem Tear overall. It's really powerful. :D

On Betrayed.
I love the poem Tear overall. It's really powerful. :D

Ah, yes Tear is my personal favorite so far.

I surprisingly wasn't all too happy with Betrayed for some odd reason :/

My favorite is Betrayed because it's so powerfull and flows together so well.
But the only stanza i didn't like is "I wake from my sleep
And try hard not to make a peep."

I feel like this doesn't really fit in the poem.

[whisper] I think it's because of the thee [whisper]

My favorite is Betrayed because it's so powerfull and flows together so well.

Thank you very much :)

But the only stanza i didn't like is "I wake from my sleep
And try hard not to make a peep."

I feel like this doesn't really fit in the poem.

There is a deep meaning into that first stanza... On a shallow view here you go:
Someone "wakes up from a dream" to find the world hates him or her.
They find that their beloved have betrayed them, they can't bear it...
Now what could the stuff in the " mean? Not spoiling it >;O

[whisper] I think it's because of the thee [whisper]

BINGO!!!

I just don't like the rhyming in the peep sleep one.

Nice, i didn't think of it like that but why does the person try not to make a peep?