ForumsArt, Music, and WritingTackeh's 10,000 Etchings

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TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,936 posts
Peasant

I decided I'd try and post some of my poems on here, since I liked the first line poem thread so much. I would really like some advice on how to improve. Thanks!

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ManiacalMind
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ManiacalMind
176 posts
Nomad

Did you read some of my older ones?


Yeah, I've read all of the poems in the thread, I've just got to say nice work.
Ghgt99
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Ghgt99
1,894 posts
Nomad

Winter's harshest winds
Cut through the trees like sharp glass
Blinding us with snow

Spring melts frozen earth,
Casting torrents of water
That hurtle downhill

Then Summer, shining
Sweltering warmth, blazing hot,
Smiting those outside.

Fall will probably show up later.


The last line is funny. =P

Good job! 9/10
TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,936 posts
Peasant

Thanks
Not a 10/10?!?!?! lol.
I actually wasn't intending for that line to be funny; I just couldn't think of anything else for Fall.

TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,936 posts
Peasant

I've decided I'll try a different style of poem every time I post. A sonnet one day, a haiku the next, maybe even a prose poem if I have the time.

TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,936 posts
Peasant

Last Haiku, I promise. :P

You were always there,
For me to lean on, to rest,
Every single hour.
-To my Chair, from the Girl that sometimes breaks you by accident

I need you with me,
For sweet comfort when I cry,
When all else is lost
-To my box of Chocolates, from the Girl that noms.

Ernie15
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Ernie15
13,351 posts
Bard

are you "the girl"? I'm pretty sure you might be.


I'm going to take a wild guess and say you're right. I highly doubt that either the chair or the box of chocolates would know "the girl" by name.
TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,936 posts
Peasant

I'm going to take a wild guess and say you're right. I highly doubt that either the chair or the box of chocolates would know "the girl" by name.


You are quite correct, Ernie. I wanted to show my appreciation for household items, since I doubt they get poems very often.
MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

Greatness Tacky. Greatness. The haikus for the house are awesome.
And the seasonal poem was funny. I can't really get into the nitty gritty, but if you do a longer poem, I will.

TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,936 posts
Peasant

Why, thank you, Moon.
Someone needs to give me some ideas on what kind of poem to do. Sonnet? Ode? Song lyrics? Some sets of couplets? Limericks?

Here's a limerick I wrote in elementary school:

Fox

There once was a very nice Fox.
He liked to pick up big rocks.
He threw them around,
They made a loud sound,
And he also lived in a box.

I know, I know. I was a brilliant poet back then. :P

Maybe I'll write some more Limericks later today. I'm in a limerick-y kind of mood.

gameinator
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gameinator
10 posts
Nomad

Those are brilliant Tacky, that fox one was really good.
I'm not that good at poetry, most of the stuff poetry related I did when I was around 8.

TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,936 posts
Peasant

Thanks, gameinator
And that's alright about the poetry thing. Some people are good at different things. I used to take dance lessons. D:

I absolutely hate learning dance.
You don't do anything but prance.
You twirl and you fall,
I don't learn anything at all,
You swish around as if in a trance.

Wow, that sucked. D:

gameinator
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gameinator
10 posts
Nomad

Better than most of the poems I've wrote, they're pretty funny as well.

MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

Ooooohohohohohohohohoh Do limericks.
Limericks are fun.
By the way, have you seen the Tanka Contest?

TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,936 posts
Peasant

I am checking it out as of this moment.

SupaLegit
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SupaLegit
644 posts
Nomad

Hey ya Tacky, in your Tanka, the last line is kinda funny

Choices that haunt us,
Choices that make us regret
The paths that we take.
It is better to simply
To never make decisions.


I think that

It is better to simply
Never make a decision.

Would sound a bit better :O
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