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General Relationship Thread

Posted Mar 26, '13 at 10:35pm

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

4,971 posts

You have to tell her how you feel.

And NOT in a text. In person if possible, otherwise call.

 

Posted Mar 26, '13 at 10:37pm

killersup10

killersup10

1,784 posts

she absolutely adores me and sees a future with me

Every.Single. Woman. Thinks. Of. This.

 

Posted Mar 27, '13 at 12:46am

Terry_Logic

Terry_Logic

3,993 posts

Every.Single. Woman. Thinks. Of. This.

It wouldn't bother me, except we "fell in love" through text, so really it's our text messages that are in a relationship with each other while the people sending them hide 30 miles apart from one another behind electronic devices. I wouldn't mind seeing a future with her if I knew I had genuine feelings for her, but text-based feelings just won't cut the mustard.

And NOT in a text. In person if possible, otherwise call.

See, this is what complicates things. I'm not exaggerating when I say text makes up 99% of our relationship, and it's very hard to not tell someone something over text when that's the only way you and the other person communicate effectively. We can't hold a conversation through calling, Skype, or even in person. We just have so little in common, and it's taken me this long to realize it. I, in the famous lyric of Amazing Grace, "was blind, but now I see."

I really also don't want to hurt this girl, because it would hurt me if I hurt her. Yes, I do still care about her, but I can't see myself being with her for a long time because I know it just wouldn't work out for either of us.

My lazy, passive yet devious plan is to allow her to end the relationship by causing her to slowly lose interest in me. I'd do this by showing less and less interest in her every day. I've kind of been doing this already, but it's not working so far. It's not the most effective of plans, but it would allow the relationship to fizzle out rather than ending in destruction and a crushed heart.

 

Posted Mar 27, '13 at 3:51am

Strop

Strop

10,823 posts

Moderator

When I or any other friends are in the middle of talking? My friend is a pretty good friend, but then her boyfriend shows up and its all "OUR FACES ARE HUGGING."

That's just plain rude. Ask your friends if they agree, and if they do, stage an intervention. Get one of those huge placards and mount it on sticks and write a suitably terse message on it, or, if you've seen Friends, make a big sign with INTERVENTION written on it, clear your throat, and say "______, we need to talk."

(slightly facetious commentary continues below)

If it's just you they're doing it in front of, excuse yourself and walk away. Most couples, if they don't know better, will socially isolate themselves until they're an island unto themselves, then when the relationship falls apart (because they don't know better), they'll realise that wow, they sure destroyed their social life. The incredible feeling of loneliness when they (hopefully) realise that you're not their friend anymore because they preferred to suck face instead of cherish what should have been truly important to them will hopefully teach them a lesson.

Love isn't tedious

Well now this sounds straightforward enough but isn't necessarily. Love can and often will involve slogging through tough, boring, or just plain unpleasant patches.

But that's kind of beside the point. You need to remind yourself of the roots of your relationship. Where did it begin? Why are you two together? And does your other have any insight on that, or is she still stuck in the infatuation phase, or worse, desperately clinging to the habitual actions of the infatuation phase when it has already worn off and she's wondering what the hell is going on herself?

This obviously warrants clarification.

 

Posted Mar 27, '13 at 3:53am

Strop

Strop

10,823 posts

Moderator

My lazy, passive yet devious plan is to allow her to end the relationship by causing her to slowly lose interest in me. I'd do this by showing less and less interest in her every day. I've kind of been doing this already, but it's not working so far.

Ever seen Russell Peter's commentaries on "why some guys turn into jerks in a relationship"? It's hilarious because it sounds so improbable, but it's frighteningly accurate.

 

Posted Mar 27, '13 at 4:16am

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

4,971 posts

Every.Single. Woman. Thinks. Of. This.

Nah, just the ones that want it. Some purposely date n ditch to 'get around'.

I'm not exaggerating when I say text makes up 99% of our relationship, and it's very hard to not tell someone something over text when that's the only way you and the other person communicate effectively.

And I'm not exaggerating when I say about 93% of the emotional meaning of our communication is conveyed beyond words alone. If text is really your only form of communicating, type up at least a page to accurately describe how you're feeling, otherwise she'll think you're a/an [insert censored adjective][insert censored noun], and she still might think that anyway.

My lazy, passive yet devious plan is to allow her to end the relationship

She might never end it because she fears losing you, no matter how detatched you seem. Since she apparently wants you forever, it won't fizzle out if she thinks you're still in it, equally committed, doing what you can. She won't be as happy as she could be since it's one-sided, and you won't be happy endlessly waiting. Nobody wins.

 

Posted Mar 29, '13 at 1:58am

idigit

idigit

259 posts

well long time no talk my friends.

I doubt any of you remember or care about the issues i posted here. But because i dont have a life, I'll tell you anyway.

*recap*

So I liked this girl. girl was suicidal. i stopped girl from committing suicide multiple times. girl was dating a jerk. girl cut herself because her bf was a jerk. etc. etc. etc. a few suicide attempts later. I liked this girl.

*update*

and then girl breaks my heart on has sex with jerk bf and almost gets pregnant(un protected sex)

yes girl knew i liked her. girl is 14.

the end. what a sob story.

just an update on my life. just thought i would let you all know how it ended. i mean i have kept you updated since the start in october.

p.s.

i disowned girl for being retarded and completely cut off communication with her. just felt i would get in the way of her and her boyfriend's ****.

 

Posted Mar 29, '13 at 2:16am

nichodemus

nichodemus

11,842 posts

Knight

Lol a girl who remains emo permanently at 14, and almost gets pregnant is not worth it. Plenty of better chicks out there bro.

And yes, girls like ******bags with the so called ''dark triad'' traits, so we can all suck it up.

 

Posted Mar 29, '13 at 2:40am

Strop

Strop

10,823 posts

Moderator

It's okay man, kids aren't great at self-preservation. Wait about ten years and see how things are then.

 

Posted Mar 31, '13 at 6:01pm

Skulltivator

Skulltivator

645 posts

And yes, girls like ******bags with the so called ''dark triad'' traits

I don't think "dark triad" traits are referred to as such outside of Asian communities.

 
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