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General Relationship Thread

Posted Apr 20, '13 at 1:12am

pangtongshu

pangtongshu

8,230 posts

In particular I'd like somebody to expand on Sternberg's narratives,

Here is the article, or at least an article by Sternberg about the subject

 

Posted Apr 20, '13 at 8:57am

nichodemus

nichodemus

11,842 posts

Knight

He completely is, yes. This is the same guy who broke up with a previous girlfriend, it seems, purely because their parents did not like each other.

My parents didn't like the girl, nor did her parents like me, nor did they even like each other so they split us. Yes, such social ''pressures'' are alive and well! >>

 

Posted Apr 21, '13 at 3:34pm

Bronze

Bronze

2,337 posts

I know this isn't the current topic, but here is a little advice to anybody wanting to get into a relationship. If the person you're interested in tells you that she/he doesn't deserve you, walk away. It isn't worth the pain.

 

Posted Apr 22, '13 at 9:17am

nichodemus

nichodemus

11,842 posts

Knight

she/he doesn't deserve you, walk away. It isn't worth the pain.

It's a nice way of saying they don't like you.

 

Posted Apr 22, '13 at 9:47am

Goldfish13

Goldfish13

16 posts

Oh god, I have a plethora of stories ripe for this thread. I hope you don't mind that I'm not asking a question here, but you did explicitly state that this was the "general" relationship thread...

Anyway, so my ex- used to play pranks on me all the time. And I mean all the freaking time. Like, I would walk into the house to put some shoes on, only to find that she had plastered at least 50 chewed gums on the soles. (Okay, I exaggerate, but you get the point.) But seriously, I swear she would never run out of stuff. I literally and figuratively lived in a state of perpetual fear.

Anyway, I would never actually prank her back because a) I'm a nice guy and b) I seriously couldn't be bothered for the sheer amount of times she got me. So, lo and behold, the one time I do finally prank her back, she breaks up with me - and on april fools day as well. Uhm?
To put things into perspective, all I did was the good ol' bucket on the ajar door trick - massive overreaction. But to tell you the truth, the breakup was totally worth the look on her face.

We're still friends. But she's stopped pranking me. Lol.

 

Posted Apr 22, '13 at 10:18am

Bronze

Bronze

2,337 posts

It's a nice way of saying they don't like you.

Let me rephrase. If the girl comes after you, and after ya'll commit to a relationship she tells you what I said above, walk away. It isn't a question of whether they like you. It's a question of when they'll hurt you.

 

Posted Apr 22, '13 at 9:30pm

Terry_Logic

Terry_Logic

3,993 posts

If the person you're interested in tells you that she/he doesn't deserve you, walk away.

I was told that by the same person handfuls of times. What a screwed up relationship that was.

I've changed since then though, to the point where I no longer develop emotional attachments to people.

 

Posted Apr 26, '13 at 11:38am

Strop

Strop

10,823 posts

Moderator

To put things into perspective, all I did was the good ol' bucket on the ajar door trick - massive overreaction. But to tell you the truth, the breakup was totally worth the look on her face.

Left unchecked, that girl would have become a thoughtless ball-breaker, and you'll end up getting whipped.

I've changed since then though, to the point where I no longer develop emotional attachments to people.

My girlfriend and I are currently discussing whether the mostly detrimental effects of aborted early relationships undertaken during formative (and unstable) emotional periods have any net positive value in the development of a person... or whether it's better to preach restraint to avoid persistent maladaptive behaviours, such as abstaining from developing emotional attachments to people.

I knew a girl once who was spontaneous, quirky and charmingly funny. But only when she was drunk. She also seemed to really like me. But only when she was drunk. I should have known the signs immediately, but nonetheless discovered that hers was a lengthy history of dysfunctional country-town relationships in which she essentially became a sex toy and lost all sight of who she was as a person. I hadn't worked it out back then, but just today she reported that somebody else finally explained to her just how repressed she looked (when sober), and it all makes sense.

That's why I say, in this day and age, it seems more sensible to work out who you are before throwing yourself headlong into something you don't even know the meaning or value of.

 

Posted Apr 26, '13 at 11:56pm

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

4,971 posts

Left unchecked, that girl would have become a thoughtless ball-breaker, and you'll end up getting whipped.

Sounds kinky.

I've changed since then though, to the point where I no longer develop emotional attachments to people.

Me too. I feel like K.

 

Posted Apr 27, '13 at 2:07am

nichodemus

nichodemus

11,842 posts

Knight

I've changed since then though, to the point where I no longer develop emotional attachments to people.

All teens have that phase.

 
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