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General Relationship Thread

Posted May 5, '13 at 3:31am

pangtongshu

pangtongshu

8,676 posts

Lol, in the bag already, but normally if you were old enough, I would suggest escalating it to another level just to nail it.

This was to me..yes?

Gahhhhh, no! Common mistake most guys make, don't do this. At least, don't do this unless you also talk to her alot irl, or meet her, or she'll start to associate you with only texting, hiding behind a wall of words.

Plus, you need that "face to face" communication. A connection between people can be immensely different between text conversations and real life conversations.

 

Posted May 5, '13 at 4:21am

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

4,982 posts

Well, we know each other pretty well I think.

You should be ok then. Talk face to face for at least a few minutes before asking her out.

 

Posted May 5, '13 at 4:46am

nichodemus

nichodemus

12,119 posts

Knight

This was to me..yes?

Yes.

Plus, you need that "face to face" communication. A connection between people can be immensely different between text conversations and real life conversations.

Yes, this! Don't text, or use social media until that's the majority of the time you spend communicating with her. Calling is bad enough if used extensively, until she starts getting the notion that you'll never be man enough to ask her out physically. 

Made that same mistake with my first girlfriend, but still got asked out lol. Doesn't always happen, so don't text and start the process!

 

Posted May 5, '13 at 5:47am

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

4,982 posts

until she starts getting the notion that you'll never be man enough to ask her out physically. 

Ummm... he moved. It wasn't a courage-problem thing.

 

Posted May 5, '13 at 7:09am

nichodemus

nichodemus

12,119 posts

Knight

Ummm... he moved. It wasn't a courage-problem thing.

Yes, but only eventually. It makes a lot of difference.

 

Posted May 5, '13 at 9:55am

daleks

daleks

3,254 posts

Gahhhhh, no! Common mistake most guys make, don't do this. At least, don't do this unless you also talk to her alot irl, or meet her, or she'll start to associate you with only texting, hiding behind a wall of words.
Plus, you need that "face to face" communication. A connection between people can be immensely different between text conversations and real life conversations.

Since you know, I just have the time and money to fly halfway across the country just to talk in person to her.

You should be ok then. Talk face to face for at least a few minutes before asking her out.

Darn, I was totally just going to start the conversation with "Hi, how have you been? Want to go out?'

she starts getting the notion that you'll never be man enough to ask her out physically.
Ummm... he moved. It wasn't a courage-problem thing.
Yes, but only eventually. It makes a lot of difference.

I moved after 7th grade. Personally I think that 7th grade is too young to start dating.

 

Posted May 5, '13 at 10:56am

nichodemus

nichodemus

12,119 posts

Knight

Since you know, I just have the time and money to fly halfway across the country just to talk in person to her.

Oooo, didn't know it was the case. I wouldn't go for a girl that I can't meet physically most days though.

Darn, I was totally just going to start the conversation with "Hi, how have you been? Want to go out?'

Just ask. Be upfront. But only if you're familiar with her, and she's comfortable with you.

 

Posted May 5, '13 at 3:24pm

daleks

daleks

3,254 posts

I wouldn't go for a girl that I can't meet physically most days though.

True, but I have never felt this way about any other girl before, at least not for this long of a time.

 

Posted May 5, '13 at 8:48pm

Minotaur55

Minotaur55

1,259 posts

Knight

So uh, hypothetically, how weird would it be to ask a girl out that you have not seen in about 6 years? I would ask her out in person when I visit where she lives but would it still be too weird?

No necessarily, re-acquaint yourself with her. This makes the question seem a little less awkward. I'd say talk to her for maybe 1 month as frequently as possible. She has to make the decision that she is interested in you too. 

We talk through text a bunch.

Gahhhhh, no! Common mistake most guys make, don't do this. At least, don't do this unless you also talk to her alot irl, or meet her, or she'll start to associate you with only texting, hiding behind a wall of words.

I agree with nichodemus, it creates a hypothetical veil between you two cutting of emotion on a very high level. Human interaction is the best way to understand someone, so if you wish to ask her out, you need to spend time with her. As a personal suggestion, create a "prototype date". Create a friendly chat session between you two (like talking at the park, school, etc..) and talk about you're interests and interact with humor or the way you'd act normally. That way, when you ask her later, she will have a reference as to how the date may turn out.

Plus, you need that "face to face" communication. A connection between people can be immensely different between text conversations and real life conversations.

Exactly, if you only know someone through texting in real life it can be very awkward.

Since you know, I just have the time and money to fly halfway across the country just to talk in person to her.

THAT would be a statement!

I moved after 7th grade. Personally I think that 7th grade is too young to start dating.

I agree, but it varies per person.

Darn, I was totally just going to start the conversation with "Hi, how have you been? Want to go out?'

I can tell you are doing this for the first time, aren't you?

True, but I have never felt this way about any other girl before, at least not for this long of a time.

If you truly feel that way you need to adapt to the standard norm dating requires, one of which being, getting to know her. From there you know what to do. But if you continue to text, the further away from that person you become.

 

Posted May 6, '13 at 8:15am

nichodemus

nichodemus

12,119 posts

Knight

No necessarily, re-acquaint yourself with her. This makes the question seem a little less awkward. I'd say talk to her for maybe 1 month as frequently as possible. She has to make the decision that she is interested in you too.

I have heard of people just asking each other out, out of the blue after quite a significant period of time, with positive results, but those shouldn't be taken as the median. Mino is right, get to rekindle your relationship first before doing anything.

I can tell you are doing this for the first time, aren't you?

No cheesy, ''witty'' pick up lines, but don't be so upfront about it. Remember, most girls generally like guys who are confident, have a plan, and aren't vague, or have no idea of what to do.

If you truly feel that way you need to adapt to the standard norm dating requires, one of which being, getting to know her. From there you know what to do. But if you continue to text, the further away from that person you become.

YES. If she's back for good, then it's alright. Proceed like with any other girl.

 
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