That was much better. Puntuation helps to direct the reader as to how the poem flows. Very nice job m8. :D

In honor of Maverick, I spent a little more time writing and reading this one through.

Bright White Light - a poem.

Ever o'er the land
did a light so bright
hang high in the sky?

E'er a thing so grand
was so brilliantly light
what it lit up so high?

Down beneath the sand
even the sand glows white,
one could see with his eye.

To the ocean depths and
the fish's eye, light
filters through the brine.

E'er the light will extend
its aurora bright
to present to all of life.

Trying my hand at rhyming again, also tried a tip from Fallen. Hope it worked.

I think this thread used to be called Jeol's Meanderings, so why was it renamed?

Aside from that, I like the rhyming of the poem with the rhyme scheme as follows (from what I think it is):

abcabcabcabcdbe

I think this thread used to be called Jeol's Meanderings, so why was it renamed?

Just for fun. I think Tacky's was renamed... I don't know how many times. four?

abcabcabcabcdbe

So pretty much almost what I did, but different at the end.

Wind - a haiku - HL
Wind is e'er blowing
Trees and plants bow in its wake
'till it leaves again

I'm still thinking about the story. I will write it when I feel like. That means you're supposed to tell me to write 'cause then I'll feel more moved to write :D

Sigh... Wow. Okay then.

Since it's been a while and I don't have any decent content yet, I'll just post a minichapter.

--

Summer was gone. It had been three months and I spent the time fervently working on a big C++ project, ignoring all else. I'd almost finished it, though, but today was the first day of school and wouldn't have any time to work on it at all. Sigh. At least Frisbee started today.

I rolled over and looked at my messy bedroom. The manners and habits my mom so desparately tried to teach me were long since forgotten, and now a nasty odor arose midst the mix of clean and dirty clothes. Ugh... I really need to clean my room. I picked myself up and stomped across the dirty floor to prepare myself for the first day of my sophomore year.

*checks in*
Hiya Jeol. Gimmie a page number to start off on, and I'll have the critiquing done sometime sooner or later. Probably sooner given my recent bored state.
*checks out*

Feel free to check it all out. I don't know what you have done and haven't. Page 8 has a bunch of poetry. Iduno. Go with what you find. :P

It's been a while since I've actually written anything - Probably a week or two (even the minichapter I wrote a while back). I guess I'm not living up to the thread name :/ I shall try to redeem myself!

Apologies - a haiku

I apologize
for this sad inconvenience
I will write some more.

Aw come on. Upload a chapter thing. Cmon.

ANd seriously, don't tell me to do whatever, give me a page number to start on. Consider this pressure.