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Jeol: The Resuscitation

Posted Oct 30, '11 at 5:42pm

Maverick4

Maverick4

3,707 posts

Sunlight, gleaming in the eye,
Bright, blinding light, gleaming

The part that gets me is that you repeated 'gleaming' right next to eachother. Wouldn't have been such a problem if the poem was longer, and they had been spaced out more.

Also, the photos are really cool. What effect did you use to get that blurred look to it?

 

Posted Oct 30, '11 at 10:02pm

jeol

jeol

3,565 posts

The part that gets me is that you repeated 'gleaming' right next to eachother. Wouldn't have been such a problem if the poem was longer, and they had been spaced out more.

That's what happens when I don't read my poems closely :P

Also, the photos are really cool. What effect did you use to get that blurred look to it?

The first, I just set the clarity really low, creating a dreamlike effect. The second one I used one of the effects it listed... I forget :P If you really want to know, I'll get back to you when I get on the computer that actually has Photoshop. Oh yeah, Elements was my friend.

Thanks for leaving a comment! :) Critiques are always welcome.

 

Posted Oct 31, '11 at 12:36am

dair5

dair5

2,479 posts

I really like the way you described snow in "snow". I felt with the ending like it was going to rhyme. So it felt a little odd that it didn't but that might just be me.

I like the pictures of the lights. Do you have any Halloween pictures to post? I feel like those are more Christmas pictures. I dunno, maybe its just me.

 

Posted Oct 31, '11 at 9:32am

jeol

jeol

3,565 posts

I really like the way you described snow in "snow". I felt with the ending like it was going to rhyme. So it felt a little odd that it didn't but that might just be me.

Sorry, I don't like to rhyme unless I am really trying to, like for the poetry contest. I can try to rhyme it if you'd like.

I like the pictures of the lights. Do you have any Halloween pictures to post? I feel like those are more Christmas pictures. I dunno, maybe its just me.

No, I'm not really a big fan of Halloween, never participated in anything of the sort, except for last year, and that was just with a bunch of friends. So no, sorry. My family doesn't even do Jack-O-Lanterns. And yeah, they are a bit Christmasy, probably because they are pictures of Christmas light strands.

 

Posted Oct 31, '11 at 10:21am

nichodemus

nichodemus

12,121 posts

Knight

Do you do rhyming poetry haha? I need to get the AMW up and running again!

 

Posted Oct 31, '11 at 10:27am

jeol

jeol

3,565 posts

Do you do rhyming poetry haha? I need to get the AMW up and running again!

Yeah, it's kinda hard to do it single-handedly :P Maybe I could help? :D

And to answer your question, only when participating in a contest, or I find the words to a poem super easy to rhyme. Most of the time, though, I don't take the time to think about it.

The second one I used one of the effects it listed... I forget :P If you really want to know, I'll get back to you when I get on the computer that actually has Photoshop.

The effect was called 'Pallete Knife'.

 

Posted Oct 31, '11 at 10:29am

nichodemus

nichodemus

12,121 posts

Knight

Yeah, it's kinda hard to do it single-handedly :P Maybe I could help? :D

The more the merrier ^^

I'm the opposite, it's rhyme for me~~

 

Posted Oct 31, '11 at 10:38am

nichodemus

nichodemus

12,121 posts

Knight

I dare say, I quite admire your free verses; takes some guts to do it.

 

Posted Oct 31, '11 at 12:11pm

jeol

jeol

3,565 posts

I dare say, I quite admire your free verses; takes some guts to do it.

My free verses? What do you mean by that?

 

Posted Oct 31, '11 at 12:16pm

nichodemus

nichodemus

12,121 posts

Knight

My free verses? What do you mean by that?

Poems that have no form. Free style.

 
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