Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Armor Games Presidential Campaign 2011

This is hilarious. I was always good with public speeches but here on the internet, in english...hmm, I don't know, I'll think about it.

The problem with speeches, or anything really is that it is hard to portray sarcasm etc. On the internet.

http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/182/7/3/smallerhec_by_hectichermit-d3kowdd.png

Heres my candidate...idk he doesn't wear a suit,

Basically hes a wandering herbalist, now that might not make him qualified to run a country but when it comes to making people happy, and enemies dazed and confused he is an expert at that.

btw what would be some of the political issues a president will have to deal with in Armorland...

Basically hes a wandering herbalist, now that might not make him qualified to run a country but when it comes to making people happy, and enemies dazed and confused he is an expert at that.

btw what would be some of the political issues a president will have to deal with in Armorland...

sorry forgot the tages

There is no limit to candidates

btw what would be some of the political issues a president will have to deal with in Armorland

Can I have more than one candidate? I mean, they could be running mates or something

My candidate follows below:

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Are you tired of politicians who lie all the time? Are you tired of politicians who will not allow your voice to be heard?

Ladies, gentlemen and evil killer cyborgs from outer space, I present to you the next Armor Games president:



Billy the Box!

Billy once transported groceries for a store, and when his work was done, they threw him out on the street. He received no money, and he had no home. Unlike regular hobos, he couldn't live in a cardboard box either, because that would be very, very awkward.

Billy has witnessed* these injustices firsthand, and now he's prepared to change** the world for the better!

So why should you vote for him? Well, unlike a regular politician, Billy is incapable of lying, as well as speaking. He is a candidate you can trust to fulfill each and every one of his promises***!

Billy will accept**** any suggestion you have, simple write it down on a note and put it in the slot on his top, and he will carry it with him for ever, even though he will be unable to read it.

So ladies, gentlemen, killer cyborgs, when you cast your votes, vote for Billy. Because a vote for Billy is far from silly.

Vote for Billy.
Vote for Billy.
Vote for Billy.
Vote for Billy.


The following corrections are unimportant and you are not required or encouraged to read them.
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*Billy is incapable of seeing and has not literally witnessed these injustices, the statement was meant figuratively. Unfortunately, I am unable to explain the real meaning, but I assure you, Billy is the right candidate for you.

**Billy is incapable of making any real decisions, and change is thus unlikely. However, I assure you, Billy is the right candidate for you.

***Guarantee does not extend to promises made by his employees. Still, I assure you, Billy is the right candidate for you.

****Though Billy will accept all suggestions, you will be unable to visit Billy on weekdays, holidays and days beginning with S. Though I assure you, Billy is the right candidate for you.

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My real talent is not in art, but in bull****ting. Hope you don't mind.

And I realize I talk to the voters in plural, it's just to make it more, you know... Awesome.

My real talent is not in art, but in bull****ting. Hope you don't mind.

Sir Leonard, The Grammatically Incorrect


u shud vot for me 4 prezident cuz u wont hav 2 rite stuf aneemor!

Ill chanje thegs!

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Everything is good dudeguy except I cant see your pic.

Fixed image. I'm thinking about running, not sure yet.

I don't have a picture, and I can't draw one. So uhh . . . yeah.
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(this is all IC, or in-character; nothing is meant to be taken literally or seriously)

Hello everyone, my name is Orion Stellus. Unlike my compatriots, I am not sarcastic or a joker in any ways. You need not worry about a lack of seriousness, as there will be none at any time during the campaign, no matter the situation. My seriousness of life is clearly a strong attribute to make me a serious president, and my campaign will show that I am serious about it all. Now let's proceed to the main things:

What I stand for

I stand to allow anyone, be they young or old, male or female, psychotic killer or helpless bunny, to say as they please to make them feel better about themselves and improve other's lives.

I will drastically improve ArmorGames poverty rates, as the majority of citizens make no AP at all, and there is only one way to cure this disease: Jobs! Everyone must have a job. If they can't find a job in the community, we will find them a job elsewhere! A test subject for a mad scientist pays well, or perhaps Kamikaze pilot for the military? Six figure salaries there. No matter the job, it can be done.

We must reduce corruption! Our police force is often found laying around on the job, drunk and disorderly, and clearly not capable of doing their job correctly. Our leaders are found corrupting the youth with infamy and sin, this cannot be allowed to happen! We must reward good deeds and severely punish mischief.

Crime! The very top percentages are rife with organized crime, murder, spam trafficking, arson, and destruction of egos and property with large clubs! The backwater mafias, such as this Counting Time organization, for which many high ranking officials and large income earners and embedded, must be eliminated. Such syndicates have organized murders, rigged elections and sporting events, destroyed games, and set forth assaults upon entire forums.

To be brutally honest, I feel I alone can stand the pressures of the job. My innate seriousness breeds me a more than capable candidate, as a serious job expects a serious man to fulfill it. Vote for Orion, vote for the future!

Thank you all, have a good night.
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Also keep political attack ads to yourself unless asked for.

That's 90% of politics, though. It's clearly not realistic without them!

Vote for Classy Beard, vote for a classy government.

I will keep things classy. In other words, civilized, organized, and shiny. ;D

I will supply everyone on ArmorGames with suits. Crank up the Class on AG!

Also your candidate is accepted! (even though there is no picture >.&gt