ForumsThe TavernA poem I wrote

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squidlidink
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squidlidink
479 posts
Farmer

Rainbow

Red
Like blood dribbling out of a heart,
Like a sun dribbling with light,
Like love dribbling out of my soul
For you.

Orange
Like an orange fruit abundant with flavor,
Like a sword abundant with heat from the fight,
Like a warning abundant with fright
For the oncoming storm.

Yellow
Like a wonderful sunshiny sun,
Like a highlighter oh so wonderful,
Like a sign so wonderful that people must obey it;
If they do not lives will be lost.

Green
Like a plant growing quickly out of the ground,
Like a vest growing smaller after every wash cycle,
Like your eye growing more wrinkled over the years
From those wonderful smiling moments.

Blue
Like a open summer sky,
Like a ballerina tutu fluttering open in the dance,
Like a pond only open
For one summer; this one.

Indigo
Like the inside of my room with the light off,
Like the inside of my eyelid when I sleep,
Like the inside of a blackened piece of coal
In the fireplace.

Violet
Like the end of the rainbow,
Like a ribbon in a box,
Like the sorrowful balloon with a broken string
From the fair.

  • 17 Replies
sonnymasta
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sonnymasta
294 posts
Peasant

awesome poem you're a good poem writer :P

plokkey
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plokkey
4,572 posts
Jester

nice poem

i like the repetitiveness

darkhandmaster
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darkhandmaster
62 posts
Nomad

i wish you did one on black, although black is not in a rainbow, but the pome is still awesome because it said blood.

squidlidink
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squidlidink
479 posts
Farmer

um thanks everyone!

why does darkhand like blood so much... ?

squidlidink
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squidlidink
479 posts
Farmer

I suck don't I.

DragonSoul
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DragonSoul
11 posts
Nomad

Is that honestly what a rainbow means to you?

plokkey
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plokkey
4,572 posts
Jester

no you dont
atleast you actually made a poem

and blood makes thinks more interesting for some reason...

DragonSoul
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DragonSoul
11 posts
Nomad

In my opinion, blood is interesting because it's usually associated with trama and feelings, and it has a way of reminding us what mortality actually means. It's a part of us... the more we lose the more we lose ourselves.

plokkey
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plokkey
4,572 posts
Jester

yea what DragonSoul said

Rainbows hold all the colors in the world in one wide line

DragonMistress
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DragonMistress
1,060 posts
Blacksmith

This is a really interesting poem, I like the repetition throughout the lines. My only critique would be to use more sophisticated words for in the place of some of them. The tone is very somber and romantic, but that tone is broken a bit by the use of 'sunshiny'. Also, you describe 'indigo' as a black sort of color, but in the color spectrum world (which is described here in the rainbow) it is a blue-violet and is generally categorized as violet. Overall though, I think that this is a great poem!

DragonSoul
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DragonSoul
11 posts
Nomad

I actually do like the poem as well, it gives me a lot of ideas for different styles to add depth to my poetry. For instance, what if you changed the title to "Colors", and then added a line about rainbows being inside everything if you can only look deep enough.

I'm a sucker for a good clencher.

BASHA
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BASHA
660 posts
Nomad

nice poem all i can write are sarcastic odes for schoollike the one on my profile

squidlidink
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squidlidink
479 posts
Farmer

you guys are real nice THANKS!

squidlidink
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squidlidink
479 posts
Farmer

maybe I will post another one of my poems on here.

crazynaitor
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crazynaitor
2,612 posts
Jester

Wow a poem writer cool I hope to see more poems from oyu soon.They are great so far!

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