Forums → Forum Games → The Many Uses of OctoCan - The Best Canned Octopus In The World!
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OctoCan has an almost infinite number of uses. It's up to you to figure out what they are. Of course, no vulgar or obscene material.
Also, OctoCan has a clan now. For information on joining Clan OctoCan, contact [url=MagicTree]
I'll start:
1. Instant Seafood.
If you happen to be entertaining guests from the South Pacific who are having dinner with you only to discover that the local pizza joint was the epicenter of an inexplicable volcanic eruption, OctoCan is your answer. Mix the contents of one can of OctoCan with one box of Seafood Helper and cook for 15 minutes. When the timer rings, you'll have a large spread of calamari ready to serve.
2. Crowd Control.
When loaded into low velocity 40mm grenade cartridges or spring-operated canisters, OctoCan is excellent for non-lethal riot dispersal. When fired, the canisters will burst open and release multiple octopi at the angry mob. The octopi will then attach themselves to the targets faces, causing them to scream and flail about trying to get the squishiness off their faces. The sight of people running around with octopi clinging to their faces will also have a profound psychological effect on other rioters, causing them to disperse before the same fate befalls them.
With 24 hours' notice, Paladin Industries can have 50 truckloads of OctoCan riot ammo ready for transport to New York to clean up that little mess in Zuccotti Park. >
3. Practical Joke/Revenge.
If someone is bothering you and you want to get them back, or if you're just a practical joker, OctoCan is the resource you need. Three of the easiest and most popular methods of using it are as follows:
1. Sneak up behind your target and empty a can of OctoCan down the back of their shirt. It has approximately the same effect as a slushball similarly applied, except that it's lukewarm, it's squishy, it wriggles around, and it doesn't melt, so it's actually way better.
2. Empty a can of OctoCan onto your target's chair just before they sit down. Sitting into such squirmy squishiness has extremely disturbing psychological effects and may even leave your target mentally scarred for life. >
3. Just tilt a can of OctoCan back and forth in the presence of your target. That constant "schlorp...schlorp...schlorp...schlorp..." sound will drive ANYONE to insanity. >
Okay, your turn. Surprise me!
- 335 Replies
206: Puppeteer
Have you been bullied again at school(this is not a real solution but...)? Wish you could control the bully like a puppet and make hit himself repeatedly? Well OctoCan can make that possible. When see the bully just fling an OctoCan at him/her, string it's arms, drill a stick in it's face, and call it Pinocchio- whoever was that bully is now your puppet for your pleasure.
Disclaimer: We, OctoCan, are not at fault for use of product for first-degree murder.
207: ultimate revival tool
did you die? did something you love die? no fear with octocan!!! octocan has the power to bring back to life anything (including this seemingly dead thread)!
you're welcome
208. Spambot Destroyer
Tired of all these livestream threads popping up? Wish for them to go away and never come back again? Use the power of OctoCan! Open it up and send it undercover into the forums. It'll track down and destroy the spambots with it's ink. Now you'll never have to worry about them any more.
Random object maker.
Are you bored! octocan will make something random for you.
if you are not happy,oh well. ( it even made this thread alive!)
You can eat it? I mean, its canned seafood, but its edible, right?
209. Watch
Can't be bothered looking at a clock? Want a unique watch? Octocan solves the problem. Just open one up and place it on your wrist. Thanks to the use of it's tentacles, it'll show you what the current time is by forming numbers with it.
Disclamer: May not be accurate at telling the time.
Greetings, loyal cephalopods! I bid you well in the Name of the OctoCan!
It's good to finally be back.
First, I must apologize for my prolonged absence from the Clan and lack of updating the Clan scores. The reason for that absence was threefold: The massive cyber-attack of all those spam livestream threads, the bolloxed maintenance of the profile system, and simply being busy in the real world. But now, the spammer threads have been defeated, the profiles have been restored, and I finally have a little time before becoming busy again, so things can move ahead again.
Now that the profile system has [FINALLY] been un-bolloxed, I have been able to update your scores to a current status, and can now continue to do so.
Also, at this time the Clan welcomes a new member! LegoMyLego27 has joined the Clan and subsequently been added to the membership rolls.
_____
And now, to make all that worthwhile:
OctoCan Use #210: Remembering
Do you have some fond memories that you'd like to relive? Just gaze into the eyes of your Octo, and it will project your chosen memory in real-time straight into your brain as if it were happening again right now. Warning: do not mistakenly attempt this with the mind-control OctoCan - you will be reduced to a catatonic state where you are mind controlling yourself, but because of that you are unable to issue any commands to yourself. Weird I know, but that's how it goes...
211. Ink Fountain Show
Seen all those fantastic fountain shows and want to create one? Don't have enough money to buy lots of fountains? Octocan will help! Open a few cans and place them in a shallow pool upside down. Play some music and the octopuses will squirt ink into the air beat by beat.
Note: Do not start ink fountain at night otherwise it wouldn't be impressive.
212. Knowledge
Open a can of OctoCan can and put it on somebody's head, then put OctoCan on your head. You have absorbed that persons knowledge. Now you can be a smarter person, without all that work! We suggest you do this on someone smarter than you, like a professor so get the most out of your OctoCan.
213. future teller
are you curious of the future? do you want to know what will happen at this and this day? then open a can of OctoCan, whisper your question to the octo and it uses his/her ink to tell you what will happen!
disclaimer: wont work for other future tellers, wont work to cheat in school
warning: if the question is not exact enough it wont answer properly.
lady and tramp 2 song player
when you want to hear a song throughm that move just open up the can and stair into the octopusses eyes and it plays the song you want
#216: Wormhole Portal (a.k.a. "Boom Tube"
Need to get to the other side of the universe in a hurry? Open up an OctoCan Wormhole! Just toss the Octo into the air and state your desired destination. The Octo's tentacles will adhere themselves to the fabric of space/time, then pull open a portal to the specified location. Just jump in and go - it's that simple.
Warning: Neither the Manufacturer nor the OctoCan Clan is responsible for injury or damage caused if you incorrectly use the OctoCan Portal and end up creating a quantum singularity that sucks up the entire universe, compresses it to the size in a single quark, and then spits it out into an interdimensional nether-region. Use with proper caution.
spam reporter
tierd of spam open the can and the octopus will do it for you
#218: Spammer killer,
Ever had someone spam your perfectly legitimate thread? Ever wanted to kill that troll who is killing your thread? Well, your in luck! Because the killer OctoCan with knives on all 8 of its arms, will kill the troll/spammer!
Warning: OctoCan corp. is not responsible for injuries or lawsuits resulting from improper use of this product.
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