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The Many Uses of OctoCan - The Best Canned Octopus In The World!

Posted Jul 20, '12 at 11:09pm

Darkfire45

Darkfire45

1,662 posts

225. Crash Helmet

Can't afford an actual helmet to protect your head? Want a cheap and effective helmet? Octocan to the rescue! Just place one on your head and start cycling, skateboarding, skating, etc. The next time you have an accident and hit your head, the octopus will absorb the damage to nothing.

Warning: Not as effective as an actual helmet
Warning 2: Don't confuse this with the Mind Control Octocan or face the consequence of being a mindless person who would follow any order given to them.

 

Posted Aug 1, '12 at 2:01am

CommanderPaladin

CommanderPaladin

506 posts

#222. Ink Cannon

Trying to defeat the enemy but ran out of ammo? Lost all your weapons during a battle? Then open up a can of Octocan! Just by holding the octopus towards your enemy and squeezing it's head, it'll blast some ink towards them. You can also adjust the volume of the ink by pulling on a tentacle.
Caution: Ink is not dangerous and will not kill your enemy. Octocan is not responsible for any injuries caused by the enemy after use of it.

Aw, come on, DarkFire!  OctoCan can do anything!  Let's try this:

#222.1. Ink Cannon
Trying to defeat the enemy but ran out of ammo? Lost all your weapons during a battle? Then open up a can of Octocan! Just by holding the octopus towards your enemy and squeezing it's head, it'll blast some ink towards them. You can adjust the volume of the ink by pulling on a tentacle.  The ink will eject at injury-inducing bullet-like velocities, and on top of that it is extremely caustic.  Your enemies will be reduced to pools of steaming goo in no time!
Caution: Ink is extremely dangerous and will likely melt or otherwise mutilate your enemy. Octocan is not responsible for any injuries caused to the user during use of it (That's why it has a "Front Toward Enemy" label.  If you don't read it, that's your problem.).

[Resume numbering @ #226]

 

Posted Aug 2, '12 at 10:29pm

acmed

acmed

1,921 posts

226. Slingshot

Ran out of ammo in the middle of the Hunger Games. Katniss! Come on! Well don't worry! Haymitch sends a can of OctoCan! Simply open and sling your flexible friend to any of your tributes! OctoCan guarantees a one hit kill, so you only need one! May the odds be ever in your favor!

 

Posted Aug 18, '12 at 2:54am

CommanderPaladin

CommanderPaladin

506 posts

#227 DJ OctoCan (in da house!)
Wanna add some life to the party?  Set Octo loose on the sound board, and he'll swirl not two, but Eight platters at once!
Warning: Not responsible for any mental injuries caused by the resulting unrecognizable sounds emanating from your speakers.

 

Posted Aug 18, '12 at 6:54am

xAyjAy

xAyjAy

1,683 posts

#228 invisible ink

open a can of OctoCan and use the invisible ink to write secret messages or to become invisible!

warning: may cause headache, losing your coordination abilitys and stains. causes injuries when it is missused.

 

Posted Aug 18, '12 at 1:33pm

Waldorf

Waldorf

247 posts

#229 High Tech Body Armor

Open a can of OctoCan and wear it and tie the legs together on your back to keep it on your chest! it also reflects some damage to attacker!

Pros: Now available in 2 colors! Blue for boys and pink for girls!
Cons: Hard to take it out! really hard!

 

Posted Aug 27, '12 at 8:18am

Darkfire45

Darkfire45

1,662 posts

#230 Boxing Partner

Getting tired of beating those wimpy boxers in the ring? Want a better challenger which can actually give you a bit of a challenge? Open up an OctoCan and place some boxing gloves on it's tentacles. Now your ready for a great challenge with eight fists coming towards you to defeat you.

Note: OctoCan is in no way responsible for any injuries caused by the octopus.

 

Posted Aug 27, '12 at 9:28am

acmed

acmed

1,921 posts

#231. Portals.

Is GLADoS giving you a hard time? Do you need help in a test chamber? Well here's OctoCan! Open it up and give him some Portal guns, and you got 8 portals you can go through! Now you can fight off everything with your new OctoBuddy!

Warning: OctoCan is violent against AI Robots such as Atlas, P-Body, and Wheatley. Do not get 100 feet or closer if you are AI capable.

 

Posted Nov 20, '12 at 1:03pm

MagicTree

MagicTree

360 posts

Sorry I have Been Gone so long! I'll explain another time. But for now;

232. Salt And Pepper Shakers
Are you bored of run-of-the-mill, boring Salt and Pepper shakers?
Do you want innovating new interior decoration. Then OctoCan is for you!
Fill it with salt, pepper, ketchup or even hot sauce and OctoCan will dispense with the squish of it's head.

233. Hand Gel Dispenser
Do you need some Anti-Bacterial Gel? Are your hands infested with germs? Well, Dr. OctoCan now has the ability to dispense Premium Ink-Gel, the latest technology in the Hygiene Department! So buy now!

 

Posted Nov 20, '12 at 1:49pm

MagicTree

MagicTree

360 posts

Sorry to double-post but I had to!

Dyeable Ink!
Octocan now has the capacity to hold coloured ink! So now your ink-foutain, Octo-Pen and many more can come in one of many stylish colours;
Sea-Blue...
Sand Orange
Pacific Pink
And all new, and exclusive Glow-In-The-Dark!

 
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