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The Many Uses of OctoCan - The Best Canned Octopus In The World!

Posted Nov 12, '11 at 6:14pm

pokemonfire

pokemonfire

18 posts

20. pokeball

is that normal old pokeball not cutting it? is the great ball not that great anymore? is the ultra ball not at ultra value? the rest of the balls not cutting it enough including the master ball then try OctoCan-the best octopus in the world! toss it at your foe and relax while you watch your capture slowly die! i mean capture it! not impressed with that then try the master OctoCan i mean pokeball it catches the pokemon faster and you can relax becuase its not like your not going to need that zekrom or arceus!

 

Posted Nov 12, '11 at 8:34pm

CommanderPaladin

CommanderPaladin

506 posts

21. Trampoline
Want to bounce a lot but don't have a trampoline?  Use OctoCan!  Just drive some stakes into the ground in a circular pattern and stretch the octo across them.  You may even out-perform a real trampoline!

And if you are really lousy at hitting the mark on the way back down, spread the contents of a few cans of OctoCan on the ground around your octopus trampoline.  Their squishiness makes a great safety pad!

 

Posted Nov 12, '11 at 11:29pm

Darkfire45

Darkfire45

2,718 posts

22. Ink Farm

Running out of ink to write with? Can't afford pen refills? Then use OctoCan! Use a needle and stick it into your octopus to extract the ink out. Now you never have to buy refills ever again.

Disclaimer: Ink only comes in one colour.

 

Posted Nov 13, '11 at 9:30pm

tom0000009

tom0000009

188 posts

23. Foot Massager

Ever came home from a long day of hard work? Needed a foot massage? Well, look no further. Octocan can make a great foot massager! Just open up the can and let the little guy massage away!

 

Posted Nov 14, '11 at 12:35am

CommanderPaladin

CommanderPaladin

506 posts

24. Helping Hands.

Ever wish you had eight hands?  Now you Octo-Can!  Pop open a can of The World's Best Canned Octopus, attach the critter to your back and the arms will reach around and hold anything you need held!

 

Posted Nov 14, '11 at 1:55am

masterofexitpath

masterofexitpath

19 posts

25. infinite food.

Food to expensive for you?
Well buy two octocan products and let the octopuses mate!
They're so quick, you get a new octopus ever day, and you can cook them each time! Every day a new meal, now with spices!

 

Posted Nov 15, '11 at 12:56am

CommanderPaladin

CommanderPaladin

506 posts

26.  Angry Birds Secret Weapon.
Ever had a pig structure that you just couldn't knock down?  Stop launching birds at walls and use OctoCan!  Firing an octopus at the pigs from an octopus slingshot will yield about the same effect as a small nuke.

27.  Saving The Universe.
Did your latest quantum mechanics project for school or world domination go terribly wrong and tear a gash in the fabric of time and space that threatens to suck the universe into a sub-energy netherworld?  Never fear, if you have OctoCan!  (If you don't, then by all means, fear.)  The suckers on the Universe's Best Canned Octopus will hold ANYTHING, even the fabric of space/time continuum.  Simply attach a sucker to each side of the tear and cinch it together, and octo will hold everything together!
Note: Performing such repairs may require an amount in excess of 15 googol cubed cans of OctoCan.  Orders of this size must be placed at least 8 centuries in advance.

 

Posted Nov 15, '11 at 10:16am

TheNameWithNoNumbers

TheNameWithNoNumbers

28 posts

28. Halloween Costume.
Why, just darn your mom! She bought the same costume again! All you have to do is open the OctoCan and put it on your head! Now, you can be anything!

 

Posted Nov 17, '11 at 6:35pm

CommanderPaladin

CommanderPaladin

506 posts

29. Hot-Air Balloon.
Want to travel the skies but don't want to be harassed by the TSA?  Stranded in  the desert without a vehicle?  Or just want to feel like a cloud?  OctoCan is the answer!  Tie the tentacles to a large basket and start pumping.  When the Octopus fully inflates, you'll have yourself a hot-air balloon!  And as a bonus, imagine the looks on people's faces if you're at a hot-air balloon rally and your balloon blinks at them!

 

Posted Nov 20, '11 at 12:34am

UDude21

UDude21

120 posts

30. Smell Inhibitor

Have you ever been really smelly after sweating, and you need to go on a date looking (and smelling) spiffy? Do your friends shun you because you smell so bad? Fear not! The power of OctoCan can save you! Just open the can and remove the octopus. Have the octopus ink, and rub the resulting liquid over your body! POOF! An all-natural deodorant. (No, really, octopus ink inhibits smells, allowing the octopus to get away in the wild from animals that hunt using smell.)

 
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