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The Many Uses of OctoCan - The Best Canned Octopus In The World!

Posted Dec 8, '11 at 5:13pm

CommanderPaladin

CommanderPaladin

1,548 posts

74. Computer Performance Enhancer
Is your computer slow? Is it's rate of lag making you lose games and delaying your posting? Use OctoCan! Just empty a can or two of Canned Octopus into the little vents on top of your computer's processor and BAM! 50x Speed increase! Your computer will now be so fast that it may cause a temporal anomaly from processing in the future while you're logged on in the present!

 

Posted Dec 8, '11 at 5:49pm

xAyjAy

xAyjAy

4,903 posts

75. rescue

are you in danger and there is nobody? are you in trouble and you need some help? or is a wild animal attacking you like a bear or a shark? then open a can of OctoCan, and youre safe again!

 

Posted Dec 9, '11 at 12:01am

CommanderPaladin

CommanderPaladin

1,548 posts

76. Christmas Carolers.
Do you like to go Christmas caroling on cold winters' nights but none of your friends can carry a tune in a dump truck? Use OctoCan! Open the same number of cans as the number of people you want in your group, and all the octopi will begin to sing in perfect harmony! They'll even sort themselves out by how high or deep they each sing!

 

Posted Dec 9, '11 at 2:54pm

Riptizoid101

Riptizoid101

5,836 posts

77. Eating

As the title may suggest, Octocans could be used for eating. No, No, No, I'm not talking about the conventional "eating the octopus," But rather, letting it feed you! You'll never pick up another utensil ever again.

Disclaimer:Some OctoCans are not well trained. Do not give an octopus a fork or a knife until at least 3 years of use. Results may vary.

 

Posted Dec 9, '11 at 4:04pm

aamer13

aamer13

2,599 posts

78: Hacker

are you a horrible person and want to hack armorgames?

well then octocan can help!

this message has benn brought to you by:
Evilllllllll ohhhhhhh yeaaaaaa

 

Posted Dec 9, '11 at 5:55pm

CommanderPaladin

CommanderPaladin

1,548 posts

79. Anti-Hack Shield.
As OctoCan does not condone the hacking of any site, especially AG, OctoCan also makes an impervious anti-hacking shield! Simply apply OctoCan to your website and your worries will be over. The OctoCan shield will, upon detecting an incoming hack, send a massive electrical burst back through the lines to the offending user's computer and utterly fry it, and possibly the user as well.

 

Posted Dec 9, '11 at 6:03pm

aamer13

aamer13

2,599 posts

80: fire wall corupter

did the person you are hacking just get an octocan for there computer?
well octocan V2 will help! it will stop the eltrcity rush, and reflect it back, and the firewall will break making it even easier to hack!

 

Posted Dec 9, '11 at 6:07pm

Riptizoid101

Riptizoid101

5,836 posts

81: Counter-Virus

Did the person that you defended from hacking your website just broke your fire wall with an OctoCan? No worries! Simply send one of your own viruses and destroy their computer before they do to yours! And if that's not enough, they'll destroy any other viruses along the way!

 

Posted Dec 9, '11 at 6:11pm

aamer13

aamer13

2,599 posts

82 : hacking protecter

did your virus just get pwned?
well with the octocan V3 it will turn to a sucidal virus. it will sucidly explode when near viruses and firewalls and computers, The octocan V3 also has a super reproduce system, it makes 5000 sucide bombers every second!

 

Posted Dec 9, '11 at 6:18pm

CommanderPaladin

CommanderPaladin

1,548 posts

Okay, I'm putting a stop to this right now. Clan OctoCan does not condone hacking, viruses, or suicide bombers. Trying to use OctoCans against one another is basically like the unstoppable force meeting the immovable object - it ends with an explosion that destroys everything. Since you two have destroyed everything, there is no virus or computer, which brings me to OctoCan Use #83: Universe Resurrection.
Did someone just blow up the universe? Use OctoCan! It will automatically reconstruct everything to the way it was before whoever started playing with galactic matches. Always have an OctoCan around for this!

 
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