Forums → Forum Games → The Many Uses of OctoCan - The Best Canned Octopus In The World!
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OctoCan has an almost infinite number of uses. It's up to you to figure out what they are. Of course, no vulgar or obscene material.
Also, OctoCan has a clan now. For information on joining Clan OctoCan, contact [url=MagicTree]
I'll start:
1. Instant Seafood.
If you happen to be entertaining guests from the South Pacific who are having dinner with you only to discover that the local pizza joint was the epicenter of an inexplicable volcanic eruption, OctoCan is your answer. Mix the contents of one can of OctoCan with one box of Seafood Helper and cook for 15 minutes. When the timer rings, you'll have a large spread of calamari ready to serve.
2. Crowd Control.
When loaded into low velocity 40mm grenade cartridges or spring-operated canisters, OctoCan is excellent for non-lethal riot dispersal. When fired, the canisters will burst open and release multiple octopi at the angry mob. The octopi will then attach themselves to the targets faces, causing them to scream and flail about trying to get the squishiness off their faces. The sight of people running around with octopi clinging to their faces will also have a profound psychological effect on other rioters, causing them to disperse before the same fate befalls them.
With 24 hours' notice, Paladin Industries can have 50 truckloads of OctoCan riot ammo ready for transport to New York to clean up that little mess in Zuccotti Park. >
3. Practical Joke/Revenge.
If someone is bothering you and you want to get them back, or if you're just a practical joker, OctoCan is the resource you need. Three of the easiest and most popular methods of using it are as follows:
1. Sneak up behind your target and empty a can of OctoCan down the back of their shirt. It has approximately the same effect as a slushball similarly applied, except that it's lukewarm, it's squishy, it wriggles around, and it doesn't melt, so it's actually way better.
2. Empty a can of OctoCan onto your target's chair just before they sit down. Sitting into such squirmy squishiness has extremely disturbing psychological effects and may even leave your target mentally scarred for life. >
3. Just tilt a can of OctoCan back and forth in the presence of your target. That constant "schlorp...schlorp...schlorp...schlorp..." sound will drive ANYONE to insanity. >
Okay, your turn. Surprise me!
- 335 Replies
#270: OctoMeme!
Due to almost 300 uses of OctoCan, it has now become a Meme, just like Lolcats! Everyone celebrate!
#271: Octo-anti-sleep-walking-device.
Simply place Octocan beside bed, if you get up and start sleep walking there's a 79% chance that you'll trip over it! You may brake your chin, but you'll probably wake up!
#272 Octo-sleep:
are you tired? did you drink too much coffee? OctoCan to the rescue! just open an OctoCan, put the little critter on your eyes and you will fall asleep in an instant!
note: can cause sleep-walking, winter sleep and loud snoring
#273 anti-snore:
is your partners/neighbours snoring driving you nuts? or are you snoring? open a can of OctoCan and put the little octo on your face, and tada, you stop to snore instantly! the octo increases the size of your nostrils so you can get more air while it closes your mouth.
I did it for you. He's annoyed me for ages with his grammatical errors and childish ways (He twists rules.) Thank me later.
I thank you sir! I am so sick of it!
274: Disco-Octo!
Has your nightclub lost popularity? Is your disco ball smashed to pieces by some ArmyOctopi who partied a bit too much? No need to worry! Disco-Octo can be used as a disco ball with it's amazing flashing colours and it's ink can be used in neon signs, dragging potential party-ers from the streets. Perfect for any disco/ nightclub!
Warning: May cause epilepsy!
I thank you sir! I am so sick of it!
Me too and you're welcome!
275: War
Those terrorists in your town again? The Iraqis are in war with the US? Look no further, for there's OctoWeapons! It consists as of the following.
a) Fire Ink, or OctoFlamer.
b) Explosive Tentacles, or OctoRockets.
c) Sharp Body, or OctoBlade.
d) Stretchy Body as in OctoFighter, OctoBomber, OctoTank, OctoJeep.
e) Hard Cranium or OctoHammer.
f) If thrown from another OctoFighter, OctoMissile.
g) If from OctoTank, OctoKaboomer.
h) If from OctoBomber, OctoNuke+++!
Enjoy destroying!
276: OctoCan: King Midas Version
We've all heard of King Midas, the Greek King who gained the ability to turn objects into gold with just a touch, right? Well now, with new OctoCan: King Midas Version, you can now has the amazing ability! Just place the new OctoCan on any object and wait a few seconds for it to be transformed into pure gold! Should you regret using this power, like King Midas, all you have to do is spray ink on any golden object to turn it back!
Use 277: OctoAlchemy!
Inspired by OctoMidas above, OctoAlchemist deploys its lab when you open the can, and immediately sets to work trying to turn lead to gold and create the elixer of life and philosopher's stone!
Disclaimer: Results not guarenteed.
278: octoCan: SpellPack
Is the Inkus Facus spell not enough for you? Do you want to have more ways to spend mana with devastating effects on your enemies? Well, with new OctoCan: SpellPack, you can have three new spells:
1: OctoRegen: Regenerate your HP with this new spell! Just chant 'Octopia Heal!' and your HP will be restored! Note: Do not attempt to use this in any RPGs. Host/Hostess may get mad.
2: Octo Smash: Just chant 'Octopia Smash!' and your opponents will be pounded to bits! Note: Has reload time.
3: Summon the Kraken: With the chanting of 'Kraken, Awaken!', the Kraken will rise to defeat any opponent. Your time to shine!
279: Octocise
Want to get fit but don't want to do those tiring exercises? Then try the new octocise it does the work for you so you don't have to. Tired of all that tredmill walking? No problem. Too lazy to jog? No problem. Just want to see what octocise does? No problem. And once your done put octocise all over your body and watch you lose pounds like never before. So what are you waiting for? Call now.
280: Searching the net.
Tired of having to click? Prop up an OctoCan and tell it what you want to search. INSTANT SEARCH! Very useful and saves time.
Interested? Just go to a store!
#281:Animator.
Tired of wasting all of your time on animating?Want animating to be quick,easy and still hold the same satisfaction?Look no :further!With octocan just tell it what you want it to look like and it'll make an amazing animation in a few minutes!
Warning:Mouse will be extremely slippery after usage.
#283: OctoWingman
Need help impressing the ladies? Need a guy or an octo to help you get the girls easier? Well then try WingmanOcto! It's full of good remarks about how cool you are and other things. Feel free to beat it up so the girls swoon at how heroic you are for saving them from a too-friendly octopus (Dont worry, he'll undersand, just be gentle)
;D
#285: Make Your Presence Known.
Back from having been gone (way) too long? Want to make an epic entrance? Crack open an OctoCan, and it'll turn into a wild background full of explosions and emit a rock-and-roll style guitar riff to announce to the world that You Have Arrived!
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Yes, I am back. Good to see that MagicTree is too. Semi-regular updates to Clan info will now be made manifest.
#286: Torture
Make torture more marine. Take the pieces of octopus out of the can and insert them into orifices of the victim such as the nostrils, ears, and for those seafood haters, the mouth as well. Make sure to apply pressure to the suction cups to create better grip to ensure the longest torture.
#287: Political Satire
Running out of comic ideas? Writing for Family Guy? Need a joke better than #288: Politician? Just use OctoCan! If they can animate, they can write!
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