ForumsForum GamesThe Many Uses of OctoCan - The Best Canned Octopus In The World!

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CommanderPaladin
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CommanderPaladin
1,531 posts
Nomad

OctoCan has an almost infinite number of uses. It's up to you to figure out what they are. Of course, no vulgar or obscene material.

Also, OctoCan has a clan now. For information on joining Clan OctoCan, contact [url=MagicTree]

I'll start:
1. Instant Seafood.
If you happen to be entertaining guests from the South Pacific who are having dinner with you only to discover that the local pizza joint was the epicenter of an inexplicable volcanic eruption, OctoCan is your answer. Mix the contents of one can of OctoCan with one box of Seafood Helper and cook for 15 minutes. When the timer rings, you'll have a large spread of calamari ready to serve.

2. Crowd Control.
When loaded into low velocity 40mm grenade cartridges or spring-operated canisters, OctoCan is excellent for non-lethal riot dispersal. When fired, the canisters will burst open and release multiple octopi at the angry mob. The octopi will then attach themselves to the targets faces, causing them to scream and flail about trying to get the squishiness off their faces. The sight of people running around with octopi clinging to their faces will also have a profound psychological effect on other rioters, causing them to disperse before the same fate befalls them.
With 24 hours' notice, Paladin Industries can have 50 truckloads of OctoCan riot ammo ready for transport to New York to clean up that little mess in Zuccotti Park. >

3. Practical Joke/Revenge.
If someone is bothering you and you want to get them back, or if you're just a practical joker, OctoCan is the resource you need. Three of the easiest and most popular methods of using it are as follows:
1. Sneak up behind your target and empty a can of OctoCan down the back of their shirt. It has approximately the same effect as a slushball similarly applied, except that it's lukewarm, it's squishy, it wriggles around, and it doesn't melt, so it's actually way better.
2. Empty a can of OctoCan onto your target's chair just before they sit down. Sitting into such squirmy squishiness has extremely disturbing psychological effects and may even leave your target mentally scarred for life. >
3. Just tilt a can of OctoCan back and forth in the presence of your target. That constant "schlorp...schlorp...schlorp...schlorp..." sound will drive ANYONE to insanity. >


Okay, your turn. Surprise me!

  • 335 Replies
Gogotank
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Gogotank
3,165 posts
Lord

321: Boiling Water
OctoCan's Thermal Genes can help you boil water up to 100 degrees! (Celsium). It can also be used as a warming point in winter or for a sauna!

xAyjAy
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xAyjAy
4,711 posts
Blacksmith

322: Freezing water

OctoCan can not only boil water, it can even freeze it with its ice beam!

Guest_Pegasus1234
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Guest_Pegasus1234
1,276 posts
Farmer

323. OctaHate

Each can of OctoCan comes with a free donload of the song OctaHate by Ryn Weaver.

Guest_Pegasus1234
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Guest_Pegasus1234
1,276 posts
Farmer

325. Clickbait

This thread tricked me into thinking it was clickbait, and it might do the same for others

Chryosten
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Chryosten
17,384 posts
Herald

326. Clickbait Destroyer

Tired of seeing all those clickbait articles? Wish to never see them again? OctoCan will solve your problems! With its ink, it will blot out any potential clickbait that appears while your browsing the Internet. Now you will never have to put up with clickbait ever again! Thanks OctoCan!

Saphire24
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Saphire24
3,114 posts
Scribe

326. FG revival! Use OctoCan to bring any of your beloved forum games back to life! Just tell it what FG has died, and it will bring it back to the first page!

Gogotank
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Gogotank
3,165 posts
Lord

327. Massage Tentacles

Now the tentacles of OctoCan can massage you wherever you want! Back, Shoulders, Legs, Butt! Wherever you want! You will immedeatly feel calm and relaxed!

etg2002
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etg2002
703 posts
Scribe

328. VR and video game Realities!

Tell the OctoCan what video game you would like to actually BE in, and it will instantly make you the main character (or otherwise) in the game!

evilsweetblock
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evilsweetblock
2,613 posts
Jester

There are only 596 uses of octocan, and you STILL haven't figured it out?

Guest_Pegasus1234
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Guest_Pegasus1234
1,276 posts
Farmer

329. PETA approved

each OctoCan does not come with a canned octopus, there is not any meat from any animal in the can, it is veggie meat, but it is made to taste even better, PETA will approve this can

Frank_Frooton
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Frank_Frooton
4,002 posts
Bard

330. The ability to be a star

Show your OctoCan any famous movie/TV star, and it will become him/her. Permanently.

wflag10
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wflag10
1,269 posts
Nomad

331. Chocolate Rain

The power to rain any type of food item onto any part of Earth.

etg2002
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etg2002
703 posts
Scribe

332. SUMMON THE OCTOKRAKEN!

open the can and RELEASE THE OCTOKRAKEN!!!!!

evilsweetblock
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evilsweetblock
2,613 posts
Jester

333. Instant office supplies

Forgot your pencil? need a sharpener? Got to grade some papers in red ink, but just DONT HAVE THE DANG THING ON YOU??? Not anymore! Now, with a single twist of the lid, The canned Octopus will magically become 3 #2 pencils, sharpened with erasers, 4 different pens in black, blue, red, and black, 2 large erasers, a pad of sticky notes, and a mysterious piece of paper with a number that you should NEVER call.

danwar123
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danwar123
3,075 posts
Jester

334.Reminders!

Octcan can tell someone that theyr'e wrong,just open the lid at the person who's incorrect,think about what they said,and the octocan will make the best Pheonix Wright:Ace Attorney refrence ever!

Here is a quote form the time I tried octocan!
"OBJECTON!#329 is incorrect,as #1 says that OCTOCAN is good INSTANT SEAFOOD!"

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