ForumsForum GamesThe Many Uses of OctoCan - The Best Canned Octopus In The World!

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CommanderPaladin
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CommanderPaladin
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OctoCan has an almost infinite number of uses. It's up to you to figure out what they are. Of course, no vulgar or obscene material.

Also, OctoCan has a clan now. For information on joining Clan OctoCan, contact [url=MagicTree]

I'll start:
1. Instant Seafood.
If you happen to be entertaining guests from the South Pacific who are having dinner with you only to discover that the local pizza joint was the epicenter of an inexplicable volcanic eruption, OctoCan is your answer. Mix the contents of one can of OctoCan with one box of Seafood Helper and cook for 15 minutes. When the timer rings, you'll have a large spread of calamari ready to serve.

2. Crowd Control.
When loaded into low velocity 40mm grenade cartridges or spring-operated canisters, OctoCan is excellent for non-lethal riot dispersal. When fired, the canisters will burst open and release multiple octopi at the angry mob. The octopi will then attach themselves to the targets faces, causing them to scream and flail about trying to get the squishiness off their faces. The sight of people running around with octopi clinging to their faces will also have a profound psychological effect on other rioters, causing them to disperse before the same fate befalls them.
With 24 hours' notice, Paladin Industries can have 50 truckloads of OctoCan riot ammo ready for transport to New York to clean up that little mess in Zuccotti Park. >

3. Practical Joke/Revenge.
If someone is bothering you and you want to get them back, or if you're just a practical joker, OctoCan is the resource you need. Three of the easiest and most popular methods of using it are as follows:
1. Sneak up behind your target and empty a can of OctoCan down the back of their shirt. It has approximately the same effect as a slushball similarly applied, except that it's lukewarm, it's squishy, it wriggles around, and it doesn't melt, so it's actually way better.
2. Empty a can of OctoCan onto your target's chair just before they sit down. Sitting into such squirmy squishiness has extremely disturbing psychological effects and may even leave your target mentally scarred for life. >
3. Just tilt a can of OctoCan back and forth in the presence of your target. That constant "schlorp...schlorp...schlorp...schlorp..." sound will drive ANYONE to insanity. >


Okay, your turn. Surprise me!

  • 348 Replies
CommanderPaladin
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CommanderPaladin
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92.1 Hat
OctoCan also makes a great cold-weather hat too! You'll never freeze again!

stephenking
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93: Keyboarder.

Ever get tired of slowly typing on the keyboard and taking forever to write a message. Well, have no fear! One octopus for each hand and you'll be typing like the wind!

Riptizoid101
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Riptizoid101
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93. Finding OctoCans

Oh no! You just lost some OctoCans, and you've searched all over the place! Have no fear! What knows more about itself... than itself?!? Simply tell another OctoCan what you've lost, and it will find its' brethren in 1-10 minutes! You'll never lose OctoCans again!

xAyjAy
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xAyjAy
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94. desintegrator

is your scrap falling out of the trash can? you dont know where you can put your trash? all trash sides are full or you want just to get rid of your atomic waist? then use the new desintegrator OctoCan! point the can at the trash, open it and it will desintegrate the trash! disclaimer: only one use per can.

Riptizoid101
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95. Ideas

Running out of ideas to post about your OctoCan? Well just open up a can of that delicious OctoCan and it'll write all day and all night for you! Better yet, their many appendages will make many fast posts so you'll never have to be ninja'd ever again!

aamer13
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aamer13
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96: toilet

put it in the toilet and it changes to the coulour brown! it is so real! get it now!

xAyjAy
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xAyjAy
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97. ice cream maker

its hot and you want some ice cream? open a can of OctoCan, give him the ingredients, wait some minutes and presto! you have some delicious ice cream! disclaimer: if you forget the ink eraser it gets black and tastes like ink.

CommanderPaladin
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CommanderPaladin
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98. Mathematician.
Having trouble with math class? Enlist a few OctoCan critters to help. Turns out, they're great at math. It figures, since they are Octo-pi...

loco5
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http://www.shootfortheedit.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=2361&d=1258769659


99. Spam sender

have that business, you know the one where you're the "Prince from Nigeria"? well enlist him and he will tirelessly send those spam mails and sort any credit card numbers that come in

CommanderPaladin
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CommanderPaladin
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^Please tell me that you just posted to the wrong thread. One, posting pics like that is considered spam, two, your post has nothing to do with OctoCan which makes it spam to the topic, and three, writing about the propagation of spam is also considered spam.

loco5
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loco5
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^Please tell me that you just posted to the wrong thread. One, posting pics like that is considered spam, two, your post has nothing to do with OctoCan which makes it spam to the topic, and three, writing about the propagation of spam is also considered spam.



boi you fail, i was talking to octocan, 2 i was referring to your last post and third has nothing to do with the rules
xAyjAy
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xAyjAy
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100. celebration

ever wanted to celebrate something? your partys are awesome but you need more epicness? then open the brand new celebrate-OctoCan and the thousand octos will make the best party in your whole life! disclaimer: can cause death if you be a part of the party for more than a week.

CommanderPaladin
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CommanderPaladin
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99. Spam sender
have that business, you know the one where you're the "Prince from Nigeria"? well enlist him and he will tirelessly send those spam mails and sort any credit card numbers that come in
(your post)

^Please tell me that you just posted to the wrong thread. One, posting pics like that is considered spam, two, your post has nothing to do with OctoCan which makes it spam to the topic, and three, writing about the propagation of spam is also considered spam.

boi you fail, i was talking to octocan, 2 i was referring to your last post and third has nothing to do with the rules
(my post, your reply)

@loco5: A few weeks ago, one particular user was almost banned for real for posting pictures in the "You're Banned" game thread (pics since removed) on the grounds that posting pictures in games etc. is frowned upon by the rules. As to your post, nowhere does it mention OctoCan or any of its uses, and posting positively about spam is also highly discouraged by the rules as a type of spam. Now, let's put this issue down once and for all before this thread deteriorates into a morass of arguement that gets it locked.

@xAyJAy Congratulations on making the 100th OctoCan post!
stephenking
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101: Light

Ever been stuck in the dark? Well, have no fear! Just pull out a fresh Octo from the OctoCan and it will glow in the dark.

*Disclaimer* May cause blindness and melted brains if looked at.

MegaIPOD
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MegaIPOD
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102: Friend
Has this ever happened to you?

I don't have any friends :'(

Well Look no further! All you have to do is open a A OctoCan and you have a friend with Tentacles!
WARNING: IF YOU HIT THE OCTOPI'S OUT OF FUN THEY WILL KILL YOU
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