ForumsForum GamesThe Many Uses of OctoCan - The Best Canned Octopus In The World!

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CommanderPaladin
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CommanderPaladin
1,538 posts
Peasant

OctoCan has an almost infinite number of uses. It's up to you to figure out what they are. Of course, no vulgar or obscene material.

Also, OctoCan has a clan now. For information on joining Clan OctoCan, contact [url=MagicTree]

I'll start:
1. Instant Seafood.
If you happen to be entertaining guests from the South Pacific who are having dinner with you only to discover that the local pizza joint was the epicenter of an inexplicable volcanic eruption, OctoCan is your answer. Mix the contents of one can of OctoCan with one box of Seafood Helper and cook for 15 minutes. When the timer rings, you'll have a large spread of calamari ready to serve.

2. Crowd Control.
When loaded into low velocity 40mm grenade cartridges or spring-operated canisters, OctoCan is excellent for non-lethal riot dispersal. When fired, the canisters will burst open and release multiple octopi at the angry mob. The octopi will then attach themselves to the targets faces, causing them to scream and flail about trying to get the squishiness off their faces. The sight of people running around with octopi clinging to their faces will also have a profound psychological effect on other rioters, causing them to disperse before the same fate befalls them.
With 24 hours' notice, Paladin Industries can have 50 truckloads of OctoCan riot ammo ready for transport to New York to clean up that little mess in Zuccotti Park. >

3. Practical Joke/Revenge.
If someone is bothering you and you want to get them back, or if you're just a practical joker, OctoCan is the resource you need. Three of the easiest and most popular methods of using it are as follows:
1. Sneak up behind your target and empty a can of OctoCan down the back of their shirt. It has approximately the same effect as a slushball similarly applied, except that it's lukewarm, it's squishy, it wriggles around, and it doesn't melt, so it's actually way better.
2. Empty a can of OctoCan onto your target's chair just before they sit down. Sitting into such squirmy squishiness has extremely disturbing psychological effects and may even leave your target mentally scarred for life. >
3. Just tilt a can of OctoCan back and forth in the presence of your target. That constant "schlorp...schlorp...schlorp...schlorp..." sound will drive ANYONE to insanity. >


Okay, your turn. Surprise me!

  • 348 Replies
Alexistigerspice
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Alexistigerspice
1,498 posts
Farmer

103: Have bad cell phone reception? Then OctoCan is the phone for you! Just open the can, talk to your Octo, and then it will emit high frequency sound waves that will travel to all other Octopi and their users! Easy as that, and with no need to charge!

Disclaimer: Octopi emit high frequency sounds that, in some cases, can cause bleeding in the brain, or deafness, usually permanent.

Enjoy!

UDude21
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UDude21
670 posts
Peasant

104: Initiation!
Have you wanted to join the OctoCanClan, but you didn't find out about the initiation? Look no further! Just open up a can of OctoCan and dump it on your (or someone else's) head, and they will be initiated!

Warning: May cause insanity and mind control.

bryceop
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bryceop
104 posts
Peasant

105.easy money

along the feature of the time travel in octocan there is also a way to get free money just insert bill gates credit card and you will get all future versions of windows to sell on corny adfilled websites.

bryceop
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bryceop
104 posts
Peasant

106: spending to money.

octocan has a really easy method of spending infinite money just buy a few octocans because of there many uses they cost 5mil each so buy a few octocan and you will be broke in no time.

CommanderPaladin
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CommanderPaladin
1,538 posts
Peasant

^Slight mistake: While OctoCans are WORTH about 5 million apiece, they retail for around 1/1,000,000th of that.

107: Investment
Want a secure financial future? Buy a load of OctoCans! Since their value immediately increases to an infinite extent, you'll be set for life and then some. Even empty OctoCans have value - there is a huge collector market!

xAyjAy
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xAyjAy
4,854 posts
Jester

108. golden octo

now in each 1.000.000.000.000.000.000.000.000th OctoCan is a golden octo made out of pure gold! it has diamonds as eyes! get it now before its too late and someone else buys it!

LucasDaLegend
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LucasDaLegend
1,069 posts
Peasant

109. Octo's death

Octo mis-uses one of his powers and dies. END OF!

gamer1111111
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gamer1111111
204 posts
Blacksmith

110. bear repellant.

Just open it up, but the octo on somewhere,(I like to use it as a hat) and you've got your self some homemade bear repellant!

gamer1111111
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gamer1111111
204 posts
Blacksmith

WARNING, IN CERTAIN (AND VERY RARE) CASE, OCTOCAN MAY ATRACT BEARS, INSTEAD OF REPPELING THEM.

CommanderPaladin
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CommanderPaladin
1,538 posts
Peasant

109. Octo's death
Octo mis-uses one of his powers and dies. END OF!


Ooh, Lucas, epic fail! OctoCan has no vulnerabilities, even from misuse. Inappropriate application may destroy the user, but the Octo will remain! And saying something to the effect of OctoCan being destroyed can be construed as an attack on the OctoCan Clan, so be careful!
xAyjAy
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xAyjAy
4,854 posts
Jester

110. fail-deflector

did you fail in the past? did you fail a lot? then buy a can of OctoCan! just open the can, put the octo on your head and presto! you will never fail again! disclamer: wont work if you are a magnet for bad luck.

aamer13
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aamer13
2,573 posts
Peasant

111: Bumper

Are all the good forums going away? Well Octocan WILL give you an email for EVERY Good forum that has gone to the 2nd page!

^ i found this fourm on the 3rd page!

LucasDaLegend
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LucasDaLegend
1,069 posts
Peasant

112: Octolink

Octonaut has the power to send this link to an admin.

CommanderPaladin
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CommanderPaladin
1,538 posts
Peasant

^ I don't know what that was supposed to mean, but I really hope it's not some form of spamming or pestering...

LucasDaLegend
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LucasDaLegend
1,069 posts
Peasant

Thanks for ^your^ rule.

113: Gamting

Octocan has the power to play games on armor games.

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