ForumsArt, Music, and WritingPoetry by crazyape

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crazyape
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crazyape
1,606 posts
Peasant

So, just about everyone I know has their own thread in AMW, and I decided it was high time I started one of my own. I'm no artist, but I fancy myself to be a bit of a poet. Here's a few by myself:

The Five Seasons

In the cool of these days
I lie in the grass and contemplate
In a fresh and gentle haze
These beautiful breezes of late
I long for times to go on forever
But alas, they always stay never

Through the days of heat
I long for the autumn
Through this swelting waves to beat
A cold, wet column
Like a fresh breath of life
To end this heated strife

In these months so gold
When fresh joy enchants
The colours grow bold
With gusts of cool windy rants
I fear my life is gone
When these perfect days move on

Like a renewal of heart
These ages are bathed in white
When gone are the times of hurt
Here the young are fresh with delight
Sweet peace, joy, and love
Soon flies away like a dove

Ah, this fifth season
It is how I am alive
It ends without reason
It all too soon doesn't arrive
When this season is gone
To the afterlife, I move on
-------------------

You Live To Die

Men live, men die
A pat on the back
Beats a poke in the eye
This pendulum is out of wack

As life marches on, love might find you
If it does, it might stay
Or it might sail on with a ship's crew
If it's still there, hooray

Soon, tragedy strikes you down
Life starts to end, fall to pieces around your ears
Those bright lights of love may turn brown
If you're lucky, come true will all your fears

Soon pain will come 'round
Like a swimmer drown'd
You have no will to be alive
You impatiently wait for death to arrive

When you see him come over the hill
You run to greet him, as a friend
Suddenly, to life you have the will
But it's too late; come, has the end
----------------------------------

The Long Road
As I walk along this road
I see many dead on the road
I see bodies on the road
I see limbs on the road
I see heds on the road
But never on this road
Have I seen love on this road
Never once happiness on this road
Everything is dead on the Long Road
Walk life traversing the Long Road
----------------------------------

I'll add more as the days go on
Even though time leaves
I'll not be long gone
For he that in me truly believes

  • 54 Replies
crazyape
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crazyape
1,606 posts
Peasant

Well. Here it is. My first *rhyming* song in French.

J'ai fait un rêve pas si très
lointaine, j'ai fait un rêve j'ai
chanté une chanson jolie,
bien que j'ai fait un rêve je ne
sais pas beaucoup mais je
connais de beauté je sais pas
comment aimer et j'aime être
aimé j'ai fait un rêve si la très
pas longtemps, j'ai eu un
rêve, ce n'est pas très fort,
bien que j'ai fait un rêve
----------------------------

Well. I'm not sure it's what I *TRIED* to make it say, but... xD

Just to tell ya, I do poetry as a hobby.

crazyape
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crazyape
1,606 posts
Peasant

J'ai fait un reve pas si tres
lointaine, j'ai fait un reve j'ai
chante une chanson jolie,
bien que j'ai fait un reve je ne
sais pas beaucoup mais je
connais de beaute je sais pas
comment aimer et j'aime etre
aime j'ai fait un reve si la tres
pas longtemps, j'ai eu un
reve, ce n'est pas tres fort,
bien que j'ai fait un reve
--------------------------
Blech, fixed -_-

Faunbard
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Faunbard
650 posts
Nomad

It was at this exact moment that I wished I knew how to speak French.
Could you post a translation?

crazyape
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crazyape
1,606 posts
Peasant

Could you post a translation?


Would defeat the point. Plus, imma bit lazy. If you care to know, use google translator.
Faunbard
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Faunbard
650 posts
Nomad

True Dat!
You know, this is a moment where i love technology. Back in the day (when my mom was a kid) they had to go to a library and look up everything.
I dont have to leave my house

crazyape
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crazyape
1,606 posts
Peasant

Tell me whatcha think of ALL the poems, and this one.

Faunbard
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Faunbard
650 posts
Nomad

Ok, let me start with what i think about your first five poems:
*ahem*
The Five Seasons- Extreamly well written, i'd say. The ryhme scheme is not not forced and i feel as if i am drifting through time and observing the wonders of nature.
You Live To Die I prefer the first poem better, where the poem takes you to an almost surreal seeming land or place. This poem seems fitting for a group of poems relating to death. (maybe not the best choice for a funeral, however...)
The Long Road This poem is similar to You Live To Die, only the element of sadness started to creep in as i was reading.
One Day I really did like how this poem was uniquley (i hope im spelling that right) set up. Short stanzas, little words but you still managed to get the message to the reader, which is great.Usually, short, choppy sentences bug me, but that seemed to escape me while i was reading. Nice Work, Nice work!
Blanket Land When i read this, the rhyming seemed to be a little forced, and it didn't carry the crazyape magicalness as your other poems. Still, its not bad.


That was an awesomely intense poetry session. I look forward to reading more of your poetry... But tommarow... Im mentally exausted.
Thank you

crazyape
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crazyape
1,606 posts
Peasant

Thank YOU, sirrah!

Anyways.

I gaze out at you
You smile back and turn away
I reach out my hand
You take it and smile
I give you my heart
You say you can't
I offer my love and you do too

When I need a friend
You're always there
But when I need love
You've got none to spare

You lied to me
I forgave you and asked if you loved me
You lied to me
And I believe you

But, I'm alright with that
Because to me your lie is the truth
All I need in life is you
Even though you hurt me
I still can't hate you

You're care, so sweet
Makes me love you
Though you say you care
I know you do
I can't help but love you
It started out as friends
But the way you took care of me

Now you're the reason I smile
You're why I'm still alive
I'll still smile for awhile
You make me glad
That I'm alive

I can't express how you make me feel
You do to me what sunshine should
Just thinking about you gives me happiness
It puts darkness in a hood
I'm almost sane again

When you leave, you take a piece of my heart
And a piece of my mind
When you come back, I can think again
The sun comes out, the waves roll in
There's nothing to compare
To that memory
Just me and you on the sunset beach
-----------------------------------

No name for that yet, it's a work in progress. Constructive critisism welcome. Hate welcome too, as long as you don't throw tomatoes and/or eggs at my tux.... xD jk jk

murasaki9
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murasaki9
1,390 posts
Blacksmith

Oh my word! Your poems are so deep and invoke so many feelings
that are deeply emmbedded in my soul. This last poem made me relive
something painful in my past. But it wasn't a bad thing. Thank you.

Schmiddy1234
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Schmiddy1234
1,075 posts
Nomad

About The Five Seasons

Very well written poem i have to say that would be about a 10.1/10 DD i like the rhyming pattern BTW. "ababcc"

light_chaser
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light_chaser
1,044 posts
Peasant

Apperently, in you're song, you have a dream!

crazyape
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crazyape
1,606 posts
Peasant

Oh my word! Your poems are so deep and invoke so many feelings
that are deeply emmbedded in my soul. This last poem made me relive
something painful in my past. But it wasn't a bad thing. Thank you.


I'm glad they were stirring for you.
When I write poetry, I'm generally inspired, sometimes confused. I just express my emotions.
MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

WELL. I'm here! Is there anything in particular you want me to look at? I've read them and they are all really lovely, but I don't know if you want me to give like an official critique, which would take a bit longer. I'd be dissecting every poem for you, as best as I could.

So, whatcha want me to do?

crazyape
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crazyape
1,606 posts
Peasant

WELL. I'm here! Is there anything in particular you want me to look at? I've read them and they are all really lovely, but I don't know if you want me to give like an official critique, which would take a bit longer. I'd be dissecting every poem for you, as best as I could.
So, whatcha want me to do?


Read all the poetry, from first page to last, and tell me what ya fink (official critique)
emochick324
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emochick324
3,042 posts
Nomad

poetry poetry
nothing rymes with poetry,
heres my poetry,

-=-=-=emo-=-=-

wolves, running through the forest,
howling in a chorous,
filling the air,
waking the bears,
untill its morning,
then they sleep,
they dont make a peep

-=-=-emochick-=-=-

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