Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Poetry by crazyape

its a tad more than slightly romantic :P its really good tho. i liked it a lot keeeeep it uppp

So, for my most favouritest ag-er, soccergirl, I made a poemz.

Red, White, Black and Blue

Red is your hair

White is your skin

Black is your heart

Blue is the emptiness within
----------------------------

Tell me whatcha fink? xD

Wow the first two are pretty accurate. The last....not so much. I'm pretty sure my heart isn't black...kinda wonderig why u said that tho...........

:P


Maybe I'm jealous

Wont you just tell us?

But wont I say what I do

Understand me not

But my cape is really hot

Trollolol

Don't try to cajole

I made those two rhyme

Like a sick pantomime!

Now think me a fool

Using that as a tool

But I'm really just smart

And soft at heart

This makes no sense

I don't know from whence

But it'll be gone

Before too long
---------------

Answer your question? xD

You're jealous of my boyfriend because you are no longer the "capeman" u were before? Is that why you call me black hearted? I have not one idea what you are talking about. But whatever

*fail*?

I was just being random. It rhymed, so I said it... xDDD

But, I apologize, I should have thought about how that would come across.

Friend

F: You're forgiving

R: You're refreshing

I: You're invaluable

E: You're emmersive

N: You're non-replaceable

D: You're dependable
--------------------

For my F.R.I.E.N.D, Soccergirl :P

thank you. I'm sorry if I got the wrong impression about your poem. Jus seemed kind of odd to me...but thanks for this poem

Ya welkim Yew moi fwend *hugz*

Lol. That's totally nice to know. I didn't know I had fwends...but okay.

You have friends
and you know it
It's something that never ends
You can't help but show it
I'll always be by your side
I'm along for the ride
When you need someone to buy you another round
I'll always be there to be crowned
No matter what you do
I'm always there for you

Awwwwww. So sweet these aren't as deep as ur beginning poems tho. Those were really good. You should write some more *nudge nudge*

One Day
This one is my favorite so far but I do enjoy seeing your new poems but try not to rush on some of these or they'll lose some meaning-DT07

Your neglect to use central elements of poetic form such as punctuation and fitting rhyme is a huge inspiration to my work. I wrote a haiku about your style that I feel I must share.

Experimental
Immune to criticisms
duck duck duck gentle

Alt brings up two valid points:

The first, punctuation. Poetry has grammar. Punctuation tells us if a thought has finished or if it's going on. Five Seasons needs this bad. It would make it much more readable. As such, it took me three tries.

Now, your ideas aren't half bad. You can think poetic thoughts, and you're getting there in expressing them. Five Seasons has a key weakness: it just doesn't flow right. The rhyme and meter don't work together to call forth the content in the readers mind. This is Alt's second legitimate criticism. Rhyme does not equal poetry.

Any ol' fool can put rhyming lines down. A poet understands poetic form. Now, you might be thinking "It's my free expression! I can do what I want!" Well, you're wrong, in short. Good poetry uses literary devices to create meaning. The most common device is form, the combination of rhyme and rhythm. Yes, you can make up your own to fit the piece, but that doesn't mean you don't have to study forms like sonnets and haikus and limericks. You have to know the rules to break them. Otherwise, you aren't a rule-breaker, you just don't know **** from Shinola.

Read the poetry of Robert Frost. I think you'd like him, and he exemplifies what I mean by form allowing you to feel the poem. A good poem an feel almost interactive -- the thoughts on the page are flowing both in and out of you. You make it your own just by reading it.

So yeah. Every word, your rhyme scheme, your meter -- these are all conscious choices. You are free, but to be good, you must choose them, not just write whatever and say it's a choice to do whatever. So yeah. Form in harmony with content. Good job, though. You aren't bad.

you just don't know **** from Shinola.

Experimental
Immune to criticisms
duck duck duck gentle

Good job, though. You aren't bad.