ForumsArt, Music, and Writingdo you like my ode

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BASHA
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BASHA
694 posts
355

ode to pie
pie delicous pie
there's apple there's pumpkin there,s more
when you take a bite the flavours ignite
and leave you longing for more

pie wonderful pie
if I could I would eat them all
when I eat a slice I try to be nice
so that maybe I can get more

what do you think

  • 27 Replies
squidlidink
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squidlidink
507 posts
880

I think that the rhymes could have been better, and you could have used better vocabulary. Also, the ode is a form of poetry where you would say things like you were sending a letter to a piece of pie.

For example: Dear Pie.
You are so scrumpious and flavorful Etc....


You get the picture. You made the ode about youself in the ending line, so the whole poem therefore felt incomplete.


Overall I would give it a 6/10

keep trying!
-Squidlidink

StrategyGamble
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StrategyGamble
135 posts
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fine ode but it will better when u make this longer :-)but u ve used fine rhymes...

jason100111
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jason100111
211 posts
100

really good - put a smile on my face. clever way of rhyming slice nice etc

BASHA
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BASHA
694 posts
355

thanks for the feed back and my Language arts teacher seemed to like it 100%

LordBob
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LordBob
563 posts
50

@squidlidlink

I hope you are NEVER my english teacher, I would fail before I wrote my name one my essay!

eagleye761
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eagleye761
26 posts
0

same

ShaGRocK
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ShaGRocK
59 posts
0

i like it good work

BASHA
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BASHA
694 posts
355

thank you very much

Aids247
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Aids247
66 posts
0

its pretty good

plokkey
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plokkey
4,878 posts
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its awesome, especially the topic it is on

Ace_of_Fear
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Ace_of_Fear
239 posts
20

Its good for a non-writer

BASHA
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BASHA
694 posts
355

while being a non writer I take that as a compliment

BASHA
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BASHA
694 posts
355

I got an A onb it when I turned it in for school

plokkey
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plokkey
4,878 posts
2,000

lolcan i useuse your ode to help me with my poetry work?

BASHA
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BASHA
694 posts
355

yeah sure

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