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thoughts of a freak

Posted Dec 20, '11 at 6:02pm

xAyjAy

xAyjAy

1,683 posts

from now on i will post poems from time to time. here is my first one:

love can safe you

you want to die, but love is a reason to live...

you feel trapped, but love makes you free...

you feel stuck, but love can be inspiring...

you feel like just hanging around, but love will move you...

you feel like falling endless, but love will always catch you.

 

Posted Dec 21, '11 at 3:16pm

xAyjAy

xAyjAy

1,683 posts

love can safe you

no matter how dark it is, love makes everything brighter...

no matter how cold it is, love will give you warmth...

you want to die, but love is a reason to live...

you feel trapped, but love makes you free...

you feel stuck, but love can be inspiring...

you feel like just hanging around, but love will move you...

you feel like falling endless, but love will always catch you.

since there is no edit button, i edited it by this way.

 

Posted Dec 23, '11 at 12:20pm

xAyjAy

xAyjAy

1,683 posts

nightmares and dreams

a nightmare, is a dream,
where you can die.
falling in to the dark,
never seeing again the sky...

till you wake up.

dreams can be so real,
sometimes i can everything feel.
i can do, what i want.
swimming in glue,
driving a shoe,
or being someone
else, till the
time come
to wake up.

 

Posted Dec 23, '11 at 12:56pm

TRUdog

TRUdog

778 posts

A lot of grammatical errors. One of the biggest things I saw was "love can safe you." This doesn't really make much sense. Are you trying to say love can save you?
Also, punctuation and capitalization are always good things. Just sayin'.

 

Posted Dec 23, '11 at 4:46pm

xAyjAy

xAyjAy

1,683 posts

yeah, i should use a grammar check program. i would be glad if ag had one.

 

Posted Dec 23, '11 at 5:19pm

SoccerGirl27

SoccerGirl27

139 posts

Your poems aren't bad but could have a bit more thought in them. Keep it up :) you'll get better as you go

 

Posted Dec 23, '11 at 6:15pm

xAyjAy

xAyjAy

1,683 posts

sometimes i get "hit" by inspiration and then i write what comes into my mind. the result is sometimes bad and sometimes good. i post a new poem tomorrow or so. i wrote more poems in german than in english...its hard for me to write poems in english but i try it. if you want, you can send me a pn and i can post my german poems on your profile.

 

Posted Dec 23, '11 at 6:36pm

SoccerGirl27

SoccerGirl27

139 posts

Oh okay I getcha now. Well you're doing pretty well considering English isn't ur first language. (:

 

Posted Dec 24, '11 at 8:14am

xAyjAy

xAyjAy

1,683 posts

@SoccerGirl27 yes, my first language is german. but i make sometimes errors while i am in ecstasy of the inspiration while i write something. my hand is then writting like it has its own mind and i must then read it again to see what i have written.

the next poem is a haiku (i hope it is one):

humans are beings, who dont
know when to stop. sometimes they are
mean, nice, sinners, belivers, god.

 

Posted Dec 24, '11 at 10:36am

SoccerGirl27

SoccerGirl27

139 posts

okay thats cool (: first off thats not a haiku but it still has a good concept behind it

 
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